CHANGE FROM THE INSIDE OUT

All permanent and lasting change must come from the inside out. The way you are is not the result of what has happened to you, it’s the result of what you decide to keep inside you. For most people, it is a matter of trying to change things from the outside in, changing the circumstance and conditions first. The belief is that if something outside of us changes, then we will be happy. Rarely will changing anything outside of us change our life on a permanent and lasting basis. Rearranging our outside circumstances just wastes valuable time and energy, because the underlying cause, our thoughts, beliefs, choices and actions, has not changed. It’s like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. The ship is going down, no matter how you rearrange the scenery.

This avoidance behavior is similar to driving down the road and noticing that your gas gauge is on empty. Instead of doing something about it, you choose to ignore it by putting your hand over the gas gauge and pretend it’s full. But pretending it’s full, by not looking at the gauge, will not keep you from running out of gas and ending up on the side of the road. By denying accountability and refusing to take action, you remain in the status quo of impossibility. As you do this, the circumstances of your life journey continue to worsen.

Unfortunately, no instruction manuals were provided when we came to this planet. Most of our instruction about how to handle our life has come from outside sources. This has caused us to disengage our internal learning mechanism. We go through life with a set of unworkable beliefs and values. It’s no wonder why things keep happening to us. Rather than reassessing our beliefs and values, most

people tend to focus on rationalizing, justifying, defending, and trying to look good. The result is that it consumes our energy to change and blocks our ability to find new solutions. When a problem arises, we need to look for possibilities and view them as opportunities for new solutions.

“HOW CAN I” VS. “WHY ME” QUESTIONS

The act of releasing people, circumstances and conditions outside of you is vital in order for you to change your present circumstances. If you spend your time blaming your problems on things outside of yourself and asking “Why me?” rather than looking at “How can I?” to solve your own problems, you will fail to succeed in life.

When a negative experience occurs, ask yourself how you can change your thinking, or your behavior to turn things around for the better. The way we ask ourselves questions either moves away from solutions or toward solutions. Every time we ask ourselves “why me” questions -Why me, God?” -Why do they always do that? -Why don’t they leave me alone?” - we are wasting valuable energy because there are no answers to these questions. These are endless loop questions that keep us going in circles. Usually one “why” question leads to another.

“How can I” questions, on the other hand, are based on the assumption that we are the cause of our own experience. We are seeking answers that will lead us to results instead of reasons. For example, “How can I make this better?” How can I do this? How can I change that? How can I make a positive difference?” Did you notice the difference the thought process? The “why” questions keeps us unaccountable and set us up as victims. The “How can I” questions do something wonderful for us, as they open us up to possibility thinking. Asking ourselves, “How?” opens our minds to our unlimited creative resources. In essence we are asking,

“How can I create a positive result?” Notice the entire how questions

shown above demonstrate a request for information so that we can take creative action.

So we need to get the “why me” stuff out of our heads. The movie character, Forrest Gump, quoted his mother as saying, “Life is like a box of chocolates. Ya’ never know shat yer gonna git.” In an interview with the actor who played Forrest Gump, Tom Hanks said, “This is horrifyingly so.” And, wouldn’t you think Hanks would have it all, including plenty of money to solve all his problems? Yet he termed it

“horrifyingly” so. There no answer for all the “why me” questions. On the other hand, we have unlimited answers for the “How can I” questions.

Once you seek the “How can I,” you will see life is filled with unlimited opportunity and pleasure.

It’s never too late to change the way we think. Letting go is not easy, but it could be easier to let go if we would just practice by saying, “Yes, I can see this a different way.” “Yes, I can change the way I do this.” I love the children’s story of The Little Engine That Could. This is what the train sounds out as it choo-choos along: “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” It’s a choice that we can make regarding being open and positive about how we perceive what we can do.

Our emotions affect how we record occurrences in our brain. In other words, our brain records what it thinks (or feels and believes) is happening. We can affect our emotions by using self-talk to direct our brain in the manner in which we want it to believe. This is facilitated by putting together words and pictures in order to bring about the emotions we prefer.

It has taken all our lives for our brains to get programmed to the point where we are right now, and yet we can change our programming far more quickly than we realize. Just imagine yourself being a tape

recorder. You can record right over the old stuff and make a new tape with all the positive, possibility thinking you select.