Change, Knowledge Creation, and Learning

Four main changes in participation were noticeable in the forum:

 changes in participation e.g., from requesting feedback to giving it;

 real and perceived improvements in essay writing along several criteria;

 changes in feedback given, from short responses to much more sophisticated responses combining a variety of tools and descriptors; and

 overall increases in the amount of feedback given. Changes in Participation

The amount of feedback given, received, and responded to on the forum increased markedly over time. In the forum’s first months, most activity consisted of members

submitting essays and the moderator replying. However, after six weeks, the first peer feedback appeared:

Hi Alina, and Hi Enda, Would you mind if I add my comments about this essay? Firstly: Can you write it in… [Post 224]

The author had responded to my feedback on several occasions, but this, her twenty- second post, was the first peer feedback. In the forum’s later months many other members also displayed similar changes in feedback roles, but more quickly. As with Lester (see 4.2.5), many members’ first posts were requests for feedback, followed by responses to feedback, with a gradual move over the next few days or weeks to giving feedback.

On average, members who gave feedback did so 5 days after an initial post seeking feedback, but almost half of members (47%) waited ten days before giving their first feedback. Lily gave feedback 12 days after a first post and then proceeded to give feedback in 10 of 23 posts over 28 days, while TuanND gave feedback for the first time almost two months after his initial post.

Not all members followed this trajectory: members such as Harris and Semper gave feedback as their first post, and almost 29% of members who gave feedback did so within a day or so of joining. It appears that a small number joined with the intention of giving feedback, while a much larger number gave feedback only after some time on the forum.

Change: Perceived Improvement

Members commented on improved scores and perceived learning in their own writing and that of others:

Hear is the results I recieved this morning. Listening: 7.5 Reading: 7.0 Writing: 7.0 Speaking: 6.0 :( Overall: 7.0 Thanks a lot for your help. My writing has been improved by 0.5 band since the last time. However, I still need to take another test next week due to low band score in speaking. [Post 1299]

Extracts from posts and interview comments indicate perceptions of change: Thank you for your continuous encouragement. Me too, I feel my writing becomes mature more than before. It means that my efforts start to give their fruits. [Post 234]

Getting faster but still takes me more than 40 minutes. [Post 351]

Thank you for your feedback. I think in some languages some errors appear more. For example, I do myself never care about ARTICLE because in my own langauge omitting articles does not alter the meaning a lot. I think

considering article should become a habit in writing. [Post 466] Change: Type of Feedback Given

Over time, some members began to combine multiple tools and criteria when giving and requesting feedback. These included official IELTS banding criteria, and links to readability and word count tools, pages elsewhere on Writefix, and external sources. Some members began to use terms such as ‘coherent,’ ‘generic,’ or ‘lexical resource’ from the IELTS descriptors, or began to echo advice I gave:

I think as Mr.Enda says avoid from generalizations [Post 832]

our dearest admin suggests that DO NOT use “clichés.” “It is certainly true” is one of them. [Post 1342]

Members frequently asked for IELTS bands. For contractual and other reasons, I did not assign bands to essays, but directed members to banding criteria on the IELTS website. Over time, some members began to use these complex descriptors to assess their own or peers’ writing.

Very good essay. I think it easily gets Band 7+ (If Im wrong Mr. writefix please helps me). However, I see some old-fashioned words like simpleton and etc that I do not know higher the score or not. You also used a variety of

grammars… [Post 485]

Several members recognized patterns in peers’ writing as originating from textbooks used in China:

There are also plenty of tired, overdue and meaningless phrases in your essay… Yep, admittedly, some books in China is good, like the book of Pat. BUT it is overused. I found that so many people use the same style of words in their essays. Just imagine what the examiner would think when they evaluate your work. I had the same problems with you, and I think we should get rid of that book... [Post 2043, extract]

A small number of members recommended commercial textbooks, sometimes critically:

Thank you, DanZhu! Your comments have pointed out two drawbacks in my essay: one is overuse of overdue and meaningless phrases, and the other is lack of concrete content. Actually, the book Writing Academic English (Longman) tells us that in order to achieve coherence in a paragraph, using transition signals to link ideas is one of four ways. The problem is how to avoid overusing them… [Post 2045]

In response to comments I made regarding over-reliance on memorized phrases, HectorMc cited relevant extracts from a detailed IELTS research article which argued for a balanced approach to memorization. Hamad also used materials from the official IELTS website to support feedback:

Hi Rachel, This is a good question. Definitely, you can use “I” and “we” when you are asked to give your opinion. I see many IELTS teachers make a mistake when advise student to do not be a subjective in their essays… To prove that, you can simply take a look at Cambridge’s essays [on their website]. [Post 2248]

Colin92 [Post 1290] combined the term ‘risk-taking’ from the IELTS banding criteria with an online readability tool:

Firstly, i would say that Hilda84 and i are what you referred to as “risk-takers” who adventure to adopt some complex words but both of us are not 100% sure of their correct usage/choice. i reckon this is one good point to share with everyone. Use the words you feel comfortable and sure of in the exam, well, i also suggest that we can “take the risk “ for practice like what we are doing here and accept the difference voices then correct them. Secondly, Hilda84 and i have the common mistakes like LONG sentences and essay with average words per sentence 20.2. [Post 1290]

Over time, some members began to establish minimum standards for other members’ contributions:

Hello AnnHuang, I tried to read your essay and found out some problem along with it. Have you study any of other model essays before you did yours? Are you familiar with the rules? I don’t think you meet the test request. Maybe you should review more details of the requirement from the official [IELTS] website first. [Post 1417]

Very occasionally, members used hyperlinks to their own previous posts or other members’ profiles in the forum, and even less often to other essays on related topics. Responses to feedback also indicate a move from simple thanks to more detailed analysis of feedback:

Oh, I get what you’re saying.. but I face this problem in essay writing all too often- the lack of ideas! I wrote this one when my nerves were almost burned so it’s even emptier than usual (I realized that after reading your feedback and rereading the essay a few times). Any suggestions on how to develop a lot of ideas quickly? I’ll make sure to rewrite that using your suggestions! :) [Post 1694]

Changes in the type of feedback requested also indicated an awareness of self- assessment and self-regulation. Requests for guidance on aspects such as coherence or layout suggested that members were taking a more active role in the negotiation and developing an awareness of audience. Some members also described strategies used in writing:

To be honest, i find this topic not easy to get it started, especially racking my brains to “glean” the arguments..lol guess i really need to spend some time on analyzing different topics and making a list of supporting arguments....sigh. [Post 1387]

Change and learning often involved reconciling old and new information: I had some IELTS writing classes before, the teacher told me to use long sentences as much as I can. When I did my last two IELTS writing test, I followed his rule, and got 5 and 5.5. I was surprised I only got such bad results because I think I am better than this. Now maybe I find the reason. I did a test last week, changed my writing style. Now I am more focusing on how to build nice logic for my essay... I will let you know the result when it comes. :) cheers. [Post 1415]

No guidelines were given on presenting feedback. A variety of styles of commenting, formatting, bullets, and highlighting were used, sometimes leading to confusion as later members quoted earlier posts. Some members used formats similar to mine in terms of color, bolding, and grouping of issues (e.g. organization, word choice, etc.). Several candidates in interviews called for a set of guidelines or standard formats.

Not all members seemed be aware of Microsoft Word tools in the L2, but the bulk of essays had been spell-checked, either manually or using readability tools. Several members advised others to spell-check before uploading.

Change: Increase in Peer Feedback Activity

From March 2012 onwards (four months after the forum started), the number of members giving feedback rose sharply. Figure 16 shows the change from the

moderator (X) being the first to comment on posts (AX) to other members being first (AB).

Threads in which the moderator (X) was second (AX, AXA, AXB, etc.) were very common in the first few months. As more members joined and began giving peer feedback, however, threads with patterns such as AB, ABA, or ABACA became much more common.

Figure 16: Increase in Feedback by Members

Summary: Feedback, Learning Evidence and Change

Feedback was a core activity, and a significant proportion of members provided or responded to useful and generally accurate feedback, predominantly at the macro- level, displaying an accurate understanding of IELTS academic writing. Over time, many members moved from requesting to giving feedback.

Without training or explicit guidelines, members provided helpful and relevant comments, with some combining increasingly sophisticated criteria and resources to

0 5 10 15 20

1-Nov 1-Dec 1-Jan 1-Feb 1-Mar 1-Apr 1-May 1-Jun 1-Jul 1-Aug

Nu m b er of In stanc es

Increase in Feedback by Other Members Over Life of Forum

First Responders:

Moderator (AX) or Other Members (AB) Nov 2011 - August 2012

AB (Other member) AX

analyze the work of others, or posting rewrites of all or part of their essays or those of others.

The 59% of members who did not provide detailed feedback nonetheless demonstrated an interest in receiving feedback, with many thanking givers,

promising reciprocal comments, or apologizing for a perceived inability to comment or engage in peer editing due to low levels of proficiency or time pressure.