Changes in Comments about Evidence

The writing prompts from both 9th and 12th grade provided students with specific guidelines about the amount of evidence that they should use to support their ideas. Mr. Zain told students in both 9th and 12th grade that they needed to use three pieces of direct evidence from the novels. Students in both 9th and 12th grade tended to comment about the amount of evidence their peers usedwhen providing feedback on evidence, often commenting that their peer had three pieces of evidence and had satisfied that requirement. However, when students critiqued their peers’ use of evidence, 9th grade reviewers tended to critique only the quantity of the evidence used, and 12th grade reviewers may have started a comment with an indication of the quantity of evidence used, but then focused a large portion of the comment on the quality of analysis in each essay.

5.5.2.1 Feedback about evidence in 9th _grade

The feedback comments about evidence generated in 9th _{grade focused on quantity as opposed to} quality, appropriateness, or how the writer utilized evidence. In 9th grade, Mr. Zain did not specifically ask students to comment on use of evidence, but in the feedback prompts that asked students to comment on what went well and what needed to be improved, students often

commented on evidence. Of the 648 comments generated by students in 9th grade, 7% (N=45) commented on the evidence used in their peers’ essays. See Table 21 for a description of the comments students in 9th grade made about evidence. Thirty-five percent (N=16) of the comments about students’ use of evidence were positive and stated that students utilized the required amount of evidence. The comments that critiqued peers’ use of evidence focused on quantity or commented on evidence as part of a larger comment on organization. For example, Matt wrote the following comment, “my suggestion is in the body paragraph make topic sentence just don't jump into the quote you need to transition to each paragraph.” In his comment, Matt recognized that the paragraphs were lacking topic sentences that introduced an idea and situated the quotation. However, Matt provided no details about the quality or use of the evidence, which was a problem in his peer’s paper.

Table 21. 9th _{Grade Comments about Evidence}

Type of Comment N % Example

Indicated that the writer had to include more ideas and

quotations in his or her writing

29 64 It was a well written essay but only had 2 pieces of textual evidence and it wasn't completely clear to what side you were supporting.

Writer explained his or her ideas well

11 24 One thing I liked about your essay was that you explained your examples very good. You explained them in a way the reader could understand.

Writer used evidence well. 5 11 It used a lot of textual evidence that was all relevant to the essay.

5.5.2.2 Comments about evidence in 12th _grade

Research shows that secondary students often lack skills in connecting ideas and evidence in writing and may leave evidence to speak for itself (Sandoval & Millwood, 2005). Therefore, it is important for reviewers to provide high-quality feedback, including comments on the quality of evidence and explanation, on their peers’ use of evidence in their writing. Feedback comments about evidence in 12th grade focused on the quality of the evidence and writers’ attempts to connect the evidence back to the main ideas of their essays.

Twelfth-grade students generated 268 comments about their peers’ use of evidence. See Table 22 for a description of the comments students in 12th _{grade made about evidence. Students} made more positive comments about evidence use than in 9th grade. Fifty-eight percent (N=155) of the comments about students’ use of evidence were positive. However, unlike in 9th _grade, students did not frequently make positive comments about the quantity of evidence used, but rather the quality of the evidence and how well the writer was able to explain how the evidence related back to the prompt. For example, one student stated, “I think you did a great job of

selecting quotes that explain what the dystopian world of logans run is like and how it relates to logan being a good example of a protagonist in a dystopian novel.” In this comment, the student reviewer explains that he/she sees the evidence supporting the writer’s thesis. The reviewer also indicates that the evidence appropriately supports the writer’s description of the world of

Logan’s Run (Nolan, 1976) as a dystopia. The increase in comments about the quality of evidence used may indicate a shift in the way that students thought about the assignment requirements as they reviewed their peers’ essays. Rather than seeing successful writing as merely meeting the quantifiable requirements of the prompt or rubric, students recognized that successful writing has evidence that supports claims and is explicit about the relationship between evidence and claims. This understanding about the quality of evidence also came through in the critiques that students made in regards to their peers’ evidence use.

Twelfth-grade students made 103 critiques about their peers’ use of evidence. Of these critiques, 88% (N=91) of the comments referenced the writer’s need to provide more explanation of how the evidence supported the claims made in the essay. This change can be seen in Matt’s comments. In his feedback on an essay written about the novel Logan’s Run (Nolan, 1976), Matt stated, “I think you use evidence really well in the in essay you state that support and why but I like if you put a little main explanation on why you choose the quote and how support you viewpoint. And what evidence means because I didn’t read logan run so hard trying understand what you trying to say at some points.” Here Matt explained that, as a reader, the evidence seemed to support the writer’s ideas, but as someone who had not read the novel, Matt needed more explanation to help him see the connection between the quotations and the writer’s ideas. Although Matt’s comment did not provide a specific place in his peer’s paper where Matt saw the need for more explanation, his comment is more detailed than his comment from 9th grade.

Table 22. 12th _{Grade Comments about Evidence}

Type of Comment N % Example

Indicated that the writer used evidence well

155 58 I think you did a great job of selecting quotes that explain what the dystopian world of logans run is like and how it relates to logan being a good example of a protagonist in a dystopian novel Indicated that the writer had to

explain the evidence more

88 33 I think you great using evidence and they all support you main arugments but I think you need to work on explaning the evidence where the come from and why put them on. Can understand something or wording you use because I didn’t read you book so think explaining some of wording help me a lot.

Indicated that the writer did not use enough evidence

12 4 Only has 2 pieces of evidence when you need 3 for a paper.

Indicated that there is a grammar/language issue with the evidence

13 4 Evidence supports the idea, however there are some grammar issues. For example, “Throughout the book he played both side trying to juggle it all” Should be sides, no side.