Present Day Rural Missouri
THE CHARLOTTE'S WEB Bed & Breakfast smelled like chicken soup and fresh cut vegetables as the Mayflower Club sat eating their late lunch. The mood of the meal was, to say the least, subdued. And Frances Artiste had to be reassured several times that it wasn't the cuisine that had soured everyone's mood.
Nina sighed and set her spoon down. She kicked herself for the way she'd behaved with Jacie.
She'd always had issues controlling her anger when it came to things she was passionate about, but there had only been one other time in her life that her actions had devolved into violence.
And the recipient of that particular act just so happened to be this weekend's host.
Nina's gaze strayed across the table to Jacie, who was industrially digging into her salad. She winced. Her hand hurt and she could only imagine how Jacie's cheek felt. In truth, however, there wasn't much left to the imagination. Her old friend had a lurid red handprint on her face and the skin below one of those beautiful brown eyes had grown puffy and turned a disgusting shade of purple. Fuck.
Audrey and Katherine had spent most of the meal wondering to themselves why Gwen might be investigating them. Katherine had worked herself into a private tizzy and Audrey sat and stewed.
Worst of all, the silence in the cheerfully decorated room was so loud that every clank of a spoon against a bowl was deafening, and Audrey swore she could hear the steam rising from her soup.
As the X-Files wisely advised, Gwen trusted no one. Ignoring the soup, whose thick evil noodles were undoubtedly packed with calories and carbohydrates, she restlessly picked at her salad.
Jacie, who didn't give a damn about calories, finished her soup in record time and then pulled the bread bowl squarely in front of her plate. She was a big fan of easy access. "Pass the butter, please," she asked Gwen, who shot her an envious look as she handed over the round dish.
"So."
Everyone stopped mid-bite and glanced up at Gwen.
"I was the only one married when we all…." awkwardly, she paused. "Err… So, are any of you married?" She knew the answer of course, but it was going to be hell to figure out what was going on if she couldn't get everyone talking.
Nina gave Gwen a grateful look for getting the ball rolling. "I'm single. But as I mentioned before, I have a son."
"Never married?" Katherine asked curiously, her appetite returning along with the conversation.
"C'mon," she smiled, "you have to had a crack at plenty of Mr. Rights over the years. You're a great catch."
An enigmatic smile twitched at the corner of Nina's mouth, and she gave her head a tiny shake.
"No, no Mr. Right for me. In fact, I gave up looking for him a long time ago."
Audrey bumped shoulders with her. "Don't worry, it'll happen. I'm married." Her cheeks began to heat, and she nearly lost her nerve. But in a rush she added, "In fact, I married Enrique Diaz."
Katherine just kept eating. Her mother had mentioned Audrey running off with some guy named Diaz.
Everyone else gave her Audrey blank looks.
Audrey groaned inwardly, and with a deep breath she clarified, "Our Mr. Diaz."
Jacie leaned back in her chair and set her napkin on the table. "Our Mr. Diaz who?"
Katherine's head suddenly lifted. "No Goddamned way!" she shrieked.
Everyone jumped.
"Not that Mr. Diaz!"
"What are you talking about?" Nina asked, totally adrift. "I don't remember anyone named Diaz.
Well," her brow furrowed as something occurred to her. "I guess except for Vice Principal Diaz.
And Audrey couldn't have married him. She–" Then she got a good look at Audrey's face, she stopped cold. "Oh my God." A laugh bubbled to the surface. "When you said he had a cute butt in the eleventh grade, you really meant it!"
"Rick the Prick?" Katherine scrubbed eyes as though to wash away the mental image. "You married ‘Rick the Prick?' You actually have sex with Vice Principal Diaz?" Marrying their former vice principal, the one who used to gleefully assign them detention when they ditched
homeroom seemed… well, it seemed… "That is so totally gross!"
"It is not!" Audrey defended hotly. "He's wonderful!"
"I thought it was ‘Rick the Dick,' not ‘Rick the Prick,'" Jacie commented conversationally as she reached for her coffee mug.
Audrey gasped, looking appropriately outraged and just a little amused. "No one called him that."
Katherine snorted. "Oh, yes they did, Audrey."
"They did not."
"I'm quite sure I never said either of those horrible things," Gwen protested haughtily, all the while searching her memory to find out if what she'd just said was actually true.
"I did," Nina admitted with a rueful smile. "Rick the Prick sounded so mean, I could never bring myself to use it. Somehow ‘Dick' had a much nicer ring to it."
Katherine burst out laughing. "Thinking of you two together is like envisioning my parents having sex." She affected a full body shiver. "Bah!"
"Feel free not to envision it then," Audrey ground out. "It's not gross. He's only ten years older than we are."
Katherine suddenly stopped. "It's not the age thing at all. Trust me. It's the principal thing." She waggled her eyebrows. "Does he punish you at home?"
"Is he a psychotic, heartless shrew, hell-bent on destroying your life and the lives of those around you?" Jacie asked interestedly.
Audrey's blinked slowly. "Buh… Of course not!"
Jacie grinned. "Then you beat me as far as finding a mate goes. Way to go."
The smile Nina had been wearing slid from her face, and she felt a familiar gnawing in her guts that had always signaled her worry for Jacie's happiness and well-being. Who had Jacie
partnered with?
"I think it's great that you're still together, Audrey," Gwen said seriously. "I'm so happy for you."
Audrey's gaze bore into Gwen's, and for once she didn't see a self-serving motive lurking
beneath the surface. "You really mean that, don't you?" she asked, hearing a note of surprise in her own voice.
Gwen's gaze softened. "With all my heart."
Audrey's face relaxed into a smile. "Thanks. I really am happy. We have two beautiful kids. Well, a teenaged son and my daughter, Tina, is a young woman now–18."
"I have a daughter, too," Jacie said, watching in amusement as Audrey tried to cover her shock.
The chubby woman squirmed in her chair as she tried to recover. "But I thought–"
"I'm still a lesbian, Audrey," Jacie quipped, but not unkindly. "I adopted my former partner's birth daughter right after she was born. She's 7 and we share custody now."
"Former partner?" Nina asked, her eyes on her soup.
Jacie nodded and her voice took on a deeper timbre. "Very former. For years now."
"Mmm." Nina thought about that. Years was much too long to go without love. She would know.
She glanced up and caught Jacie's gaze, trying not to linger on the vivid discoloring around Jacie's eye. "Do you ever miss her?"
"All the time," came the immediate answer.
Nina's stomach dropped.
Then Jacie winked her good eye. "But my aim is bound to improve eventually."
Gwen shook her head and smiled. "Well, you all know about Tucker. I never had any more children and I'm still with Malcolm." She cocked her head to the side. "How about you, Katy?
Thank you," she murmured to Frances as the older woman quietly entered the room and set a plate of pumpkin bars on the table along with a fresh pot of coffee.
"How about me what?" Katherine had been dreading this moment.
"You know what she's asking," Audrey said, dark eyes dancing. "Tell everyone how many times you've been married. Go on."
Katherine's eyes turned to slits. Clearly Audrey had stayed tuned in to family gossip over the years, while she herself had remained in the dark. "How many do you know about?"
Jacie laughed and let out a low whistle. "This has gotta be good."
Nina smiled. This was more the way she remembered things being between them.
"C'mon, Katy," Audrey crooned, trying to pretend she didn't see the appetizing plate of frosted pumpkin bars sitting squarely in the middle of the table.
Jacie elbowed Katherine. "Spill it."
Katherine hung her head, and her friend caught the mumbled remnants of some curse words.
"We're wait-ing," Audrey said in a sing-song voice.
Katherine gritted her teeth. "A couple of times," she mumbled, her cheeks heating without her permission.
Audrey shook her head. After "Rick the Prick," Katherine wasn't going to get off the hook so easily. "What was that, Katy?" she said innocently. "A couple?"
"Fine," Katherine snapped, though it was clear she was more embarrassed than angry. "Three times. There. Three." Somewhat childishly, she crossed her arms over the chest. "I said it.
Happy?"
"Three?" Nina mouthed silently, her eyes round. "Wow."
"Very happy," Audrey confirmed smugly, giving up her own battle of the bulge for the day when she saw Nina, Katherine, and Jacie each go for a spiced pumpkin bar.
Gwen poured herself some coffee and grabbed a package of Sweet & Low from the porcelain dish sitting temptingly close to the dessert. "With all those exes you must at least be getting decent alimony?" She hadn't recalled any additional sources of income for Katherine, but it paid to know every detail.
Katherine rolled her eyes. "Gimme a break. My boyfriends-slash-husbands were all of the ‘poor as a church mouse' variety."
Audrey moaned around a bite of nutmeg-laced nuts. "God, these are awesome," she murmured, dusting the crumbs off her slightly sticky fingers and fighting the urge to lick off the gooey droplet of cream cheese frosting that had thus far escaped her lips. "So your new boyfriend is poverty stricken, too?"
"Not really." Katherine's expression turned thoughtful. "I guess he does okay, but I'd love him just the same even if he didn't. He's really different from the other men I've been involved with. Plus it doesn't hurt that I'm crazy about him."
The other women smiled at Katherine's heartfelt declaration.
"Good for you," Gwen announced happily. "Love is the most important thing, but having money does make life's wheels turn a little smoother." She looked directly into Katherine's eyes, hoping to spot a crack in their arctic-blue veneer. "Don't you think?"
Katherine shrugged one slim shoulder. "I guess I wouldn't know. But I'll take your word for it."
Then she turned to Jacie as though an idea had suddenly come to her. "So, Jacie, what's it like to go down on a woman?"
Coffee shot out of Jacie's mouth, spraying a fine mist all over Audrey. "Jesus Christ, Katy," she sputtered, wiping her chin with the back of her hand and choking a little.
Gwen gasped and Nina's face fell into her hands as her body shook with silent laughter.
"Damn." Katherine let out a throaty chuckle at Jacie's reaction. "That good, huh? No wonder some guys dig it so much."
"Couldn't you have waited till she was finished drinking?" Audrey asked, plucking her napkin from her lap and wiping a dangling drop of coffee off the tip of her nose.
"What?" Katherine complained, taking the napkin from Audrey's hand and wiping her chin as though her cousin were a messy 3-year-old. "Like you didn't want to know."
"Well, duh. Of course I wanted to know. But I was going to get her liquored up tonight and hope she'd spill her guts and give us the juicy…." she winced at her choice of words. "Errr… the interesting details."
Katherine frowned. Why hadn't she thought of that?
Gwen's eyes were a little wide. "Is that really something you consider interesting?"
The cousins looked at each other and exchanged devilish smiles. "Yeah," they said in unison.
"God," Nina chuckled, enjoying the red tint to Jacie's cheeks. "You guys are as warped as ever."
Doing her best Miss Piggy hair toss, Audrey sighed dramatically. "Curious is not the same thing as warped. Besides, couldn't you see that Katy was willing to do anything to get the topic of conversation off her many, many ex-husbands."
Katherine took her last bite of pumpkin bar and unrepentantly licked her fingertips. "Speaking of ex-husbands and lesbians... My second husband, Junior, could make you straight, Jacie. I guarantee it."
This time it was Nina who began choking on her coffee.
Audrey slapped her on the back absently as she anxiously waited for Katherine to continue.
Nina gave Katherine an incredulous look. "Where do you get these insane ideas?"
"He could, Nina! Well, maybe he couldn't make her straight. But he sure as hell could make her straightish. At least for one night." Her eyes twinkled. "He was an acrobat who performed on the flying trapeze at Circus Circus in Vegas." Then her voice dropped an octave, "And amazing."
Gwen blinked slowly and allowed her imagination to take hold. "Just how amazing are we talking?"
Jacie's eyes thoughtfully regarded Nina, her friend was plainly uninterested in Junior's flexibility or talents. When Jacie spoke, her voice was quiet and resolute. "It wouldn't matter how amazing he was. I'm pretty sure your ex wouldn't have had much luck with me, Katy. I know who and what I am, and I'm happy with that." She gave Nina a meaningful look.
"I don't feel very well," Nina suddenly announced, pushing to her feet. Her gaze never strayed from the dark wood tabletop. "I'm sorry. I think I'm going to go up to my room for a little while."
Gwen's words tumbled out in a rush. "Can I get you something? Some medicine? Or a doctor? I could call Malcolm and he could–"
"No." A quick shake of the head and Nina tossed her napkin the table. "I think I just have a headache." She laid a hand on her belly. And my stomach is in knots. "I'm sorry," she mumbled and hurried from the room.
Jacie closed her eyes and rubbed her temples for a few seconds. "I'm going to see how she is."
Gwen jumped to her feet, smoothing her blouse as she stood. "I'll go, too."
"No thank you, Gwen," Jacie said distractedly, effectively dismissing her host as she walked out of the room.
The remaining women were left in a pool of silence. Finally, Audrey let out a long breath and squirmed a little in her chair. "Boy, that was weird."
Katherine nodded. "Tell me about it. One minute we're talking, and the next Nina is as white as a sheet."
"Maybe it was the topic of conversation?" Audrey ventured.
Gwen's brow furrowed worriedly as she tapped a long, manicured fingertip against the rim of her cup. "Maybe." Then her face cleared and she fought for something normal to say. "So, Katy, if husband number two was so wonderful, why is he an ex?"
Katherine chuckled softly. "It took me a week to figure out that there was no way I was staying in Vegas, that there isn't a big call for men who work on the flying trapeze in St. Louis, and that just being ‘amazing' isn't a basis for a marriage." She waved dismissively. "It took me a year to get out of the mess I'd made for myself." She sighed and spared a wistful thought for her younger and far stupider self. "I should have known that something that started out in one of those disgusting, sleazy $29.99 wedding chapels was doomed to bring nothing but pain and misery to both of us."
"Oh, Tina!" Audrey suddenly burst into tears and bolted from the dining room.
Dumbfounded, Katherine and Gwen could only stare after her.
"Dammit!" Katherine slapped the table with an open hand. She looked at Gwen helplessly. "What did I say now?"
"Don't look at me."
"I'd better go see what's the matter." Katherine stood.
Gwen started to rise. "I'll come, too."
"No thanks," Katherine said, already halfway through the doorway.
Gwen flopped back down in her seat and looked around the empty room.
A moment later, Frances popped her head around the corner, a plastic washtub in hands. "Oh,"
her gaze flicked around the room, finally landing on Gwen. A well-worn apron covered her corduroy pants and thin black turtleneck. "I'm sorry. I thought you'd all left. I can come back."
Gwen sighed and motioned her in. "No, no. Now is fine." She watched the older woman work, feeling the compulsion to offer to help and then quashing it as she'd conditioned herself to do over the years. That wasn't her job.
Frances loaded up the small tub with dishes, careful not to clank the bread plates together.
Gwen Langtree was high society, but the other women seemed like most of the guests that Frances encountered. Normal. Or as normal as women who wrestled, tried to spit on, and
slapped each other could be. Actually, the more she thought about it, the more it seemed a good idea to lock the door to the servants' quarters tonight.
The white-haired woman performed her task by rote, allowing herself to maintain a curious, sideways glance at Gwen. "How's your gathering going so far?"
Gwen couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. "About like I deserve."
Katherine poked her head into the guest room she was sharing with Audrey. The furnishings were decidedly Victorian with dark delicate wood, a busy rose-patterned wallpaper and mounds of crème-colored bedding and fluffy pillows trimmed in mint green and pale pink. Just seeing it made Katherine want to fling herself out the bedroom window. "Audrey? Don't make me stay in this room looking for you?" She poked her head behind a lace screen set up for discreet
dressing.
But there was no one in the room. "Sure," Katherine mumbled. "Run off crying and then disappear." She had yet to see the other rooms so she headed down the hall.
A pair of hands shot out of an open doorway and pulled her inside.
"Ah!"
"Shh!" A hand clamped over Katherine's mouth. "Be quiet, you baby. It's just me."
Katherine whirled around. "Audrey!"
"I said ‘shh!'" Audrey whispered loudly. "Hang on." She stuck her head out the door and when she saw that the coast was clear she closed the door. When she turned back around, Katherine was standing nose to nose with her, her hands on her hips.
"Well?" Katherine demanded, arching a thin blonde eyebrow.
"We're in Gwen's room."
"Yeah," Katherine took in her surroundings with a smirk. "And it doesn't look like Martha Stewart threw up in here." The difference between this room and Audrey and Katherine's was like night
"Yeah," Katherine took in her surroundings with a smirk. "And it doesn't look like Martha Stewart threw up in here." The difference between this room and Audrey and Katherine's was like night