Comparing and contrasting the views of the two groups

One of the primary aims of this study was not only to identify how elder abuse is perceived both by community-dwelling older people and professionals who are likely to deal with elder abuse in their day to day practice, but to explore how they would potentially respond to the situation. As has been shown in the preceding pages both older people and professionals identified broadly similar types of abuse. There was general agreement in both groups that the most obvious form of abuse was physical abuse. However, potentially important differences in what was perceived as being the most hurtful type of abuse and who was the most likely perpetrator emerged.

What was the most hurtful type of abuse?

Whilst an affront to the older person’s dignity was likely to be viewed as potentially abusive by both groups important differences emerged. For professionals, dignity was viewed largely in the context of the care that the older person received. Care that was considered to fall below an ‘acceptable’ standard was seen as an affront to the older person’s dignity. Conversely, for older people dignity was viewed almost exclusively in the context of their role, position and value within the family. Acts that were perceived to limit their role and/or to exclude them from family life were viewed as the most hurtful of all forms of abuse.

Who might be the abuser?

Professionals saw either male spouses or sons as being the most likely family members to resort to abuse, especially if their ‘superior’ position in the family was seen to be under threat. This was deemed by professionals to be largely

184

about exerting power within family relationships.

Older people, on the other hand, rarely identified spouses as potential abusers and were more likely to look for a reason to ‘explain/excuse’ potentially abusive behaviour from sons. In the vast majority of cases, daughters-in-law were seen to be guilty of such acts:

‘…I believe most of the abusers in elder abuse cases involve daughter-in-law… must be more than 99%, I tell you…Sons and daughters are less likely to abuse their own folks. Unlike daughters-in-law who don’t often share the same level of love and respect for the older members in the family.’ [Peter, aged 72, abandoned by his wife]

‘To me, mostly it is the daughter-in-law (who is the abuser). You know daughters-in-law are not the same as ones’ own children. When they are obliged to move in to live with a ‘stranger’ older person as a result of marriage, you can imagine the tension can be quite intense for both sides.’ [Rita, aged 82, financially abused by niece]

Furthermore, the data analysis revealed that older participants seldom thought the abuser could be an older person. They believed that one older person would not abuse another older person. Their views on this aspect was clear:

‘Spouses can talk to each other, communicate with each other… and would not abuse each other…’ [Wendy, aged 74, had witnessed abuse]

‘…oh, certainly not. Both are old in the case; how could that be elder abuse? No. Older person cannot abuse another older person’. [Bill, 76, abused by daughter-in- law]

185

Unlike their counterparts, professional participants in the study recognised spouses as abusers, often using both physical and verbal:

‘….a spouse may also be the abuser in elder abuse. From my observations, spousal abuses between older couples often involves physical and/or verbal abuses. Especially when one of them is chronically ill.’ [Tracy, a social worker with 25 years’ working experience with older people]

The potentially abusive actions of daughters-in-law were seen to be compounded if the older person’s son did nothing to address the situation. In most cases such disrespect was targeted at mothers-in-law, with there being few instances of this type in relation to fathers-in-law. The data suggested that older mothers-in-law had clear ‘expectations’ of what they had a ‘right’ to expect from their daughters-in-law. These ‘expectations’ which may not accorded with the views of the daughter-in-law herself:

‘….a daughter-in-law has an obligation [now that she has taken up the name of the family] to take care of older persons at home. They need to fulfil such a duty… so it is unfilial and abusive of the daughter-in-law, not to take good care of her older parents-in-law at home.’ [Bonnie, 65, bullied by neighbour]

However, the degree of hurt that a perceived failure to live up to expectations caused was in no doubt:

‘My daughter-in-law does not respect me the way she should… she is mean and cold to me… It is invisible. It is like a needle hidden in a pile of cotton. You don’t get to see it, but it hurts you the most.’ [Ulla, 79, abused by daughter-in-law]

186

Once again, this can be understood as a manifestation of changing power relations within family dynamics. However, it perhaps also reflects differing ‘expectations’ between generations regarding how traditional Chinese values should shape family dynamics. This is something that will be considered in more detail below.

Differences in perception about the part to be played by traditional Chinese values in modern day Hong Kong may also help to explain why professionals were less likely to see conflicts between older people and daughters-in-law as de facto abusive. Consequently, it was difficult for professionals to see the ‘hidden needle’ as a form of elder abuse rather than a clash of personalities.

Intent vs outcome

Another interesting difference in the thought processes of older people and professionals related to the question of ‘intent’ as opposed to ‘outcome’. In the eyes of the older people, if a family member acted out of good intent, even if it resulted in a negative consequence for the older person, they were not likely to see the act as abusive. In judging a daughter’s reason for taking money from her diabetic mother in order to stop her from buying and consuming ‘sweets’, Peter argued it was motivated by a good ‘intent’:

‘… The daughter is doing that in order to help her forgetful and diabetic mother. To keep her safe and healthy, you know, it is out of her good intent for her wellbeing…’ [Peter, aged 72, abandoned by wife]

Professionals, on the other hand, tended to give more weight to the consequence or outcome of an act when determining whether it was abusive or not. They did not consider it ‘reasonable’ to base their judgement about an act primarily on