Convincer patterns Channel:

Visual: N e e d to see the evidence. Hear: N e e d to be told.

Read: N e e d to read. Do: N e e d to act. Mode:

N u m b e r of Examples: N e e d to have the information some n u m b e r of times before b e c o m i n g convinced.

Automatic: N e e d only partial information.

Consistent: N e e d to have the information every time to be convinced, and then only for that example.

Period of time: N e e d to have the information remain consistent for s o m e period of time.

S E L L I N G

Sales psychology already has given rise to whole libraries of books, and we will only touch on it lightly here, to show s o m e of the possibilities using N L P ideas.

Selling is often misunderstood, like advertising. A popular definition describes advertising as the art of arresting h u m a n intelligence l o n g e n o u g h to get m o n e y from it. In fact, the whole purpose of sales, as the book, The One Minute Sales Person by Spencer J o h n s o n and Larry Wilson puts very eloquently, is to help people to get what they want. T h e more you help people to get what they want, the more successful a salesperson you will be.

M a n y N L P ideas will work towards this purpose. Initial rapport is important. A n c h o r i n g resources will enable y o u to m e e t challenges in a resourceful state. Feeling good about your work lets you do good work.

Future pacing can help to create the situations and feelings that you want, by mentally rehearsing them first. Setting well-formed o u t c o m e s is an invaluable skill in selling. In Chapter 1 you applied the well- formedness criteria to your o w n outcomes, T h e same questions that you used there can be used to help others b e c o m e clear about what

they want. T h i s skill is crucial in selling because you can only satisfy the buyer if you know exactly what they want.

T h e idea of stepping up and d o w n can help you find out what people need. W h a t are their criteria? W h a t is important to them about a product?

Do they have an o u t c o m e in mind about what they are buying, and can y o u help them to realize it?

I remember a personal example. There is a high street near where I live which has many more than its fair share of hardware shops. T h e one that does the best business is a small, rather out of the way shop. T h e owner always makes a genuine attempt to find out what you are d o i n g and what you want the tool or equipment for. A l t h o u g h he does not always get good rapport, for sometimes his interrogation verges on the third degree, he makes sure that he does not sell you anything that does not specifically help you achieve what you want to do. If he does not have the right tool, he will direct you to a shop that does. He survives very well in the face of strong competition from big chain stores with substantially lower prices.

In our model he steps up to find out the criteria and o u t c o m e of his customers, and then steps d o w n to exactly the specific tool they need. T h i s m a y involve a step sideways from what the customer actually asked for in the first place, (It always does w h e n I go there.)

Stepping sideways is very useful to find out what a person likes about a product. W h a t are the good points? W h e r e are the points of difference that m e a n s a person chooses one product rather than another? Exploring what a person wants in these three directions is a consistent pattern of top salespeople. C o n g r u e n c e is essential. Would a salesperson use the product he is selling? D o e s he really believe in the advantages he recites? Incongruence can leak out in tonality and posture, and make the buyer uneasy.

F R A M E S

Framing in N L P refers to the way we put things into different contexts to give them different meanings; what we m a k e important at that m o m e n t . H e r e are five useful ways of framing events. S o m e have b e e n implicit in other aspects of N L P , and it is worth m a k i n g them explicit here.

Outcome frame

This is evaluating in terms of outcomes. Firstly know your own outcome, and make sure it is well-formed. Is it positive? Is it under your control? Is it specific e n o u g h and the right size? W h a t is the evidence? Do you have the resources to carry it out? H o w does it fit with your other outcomes?

Secondly, you m a y need to elicit o u t c o m e s from any other people involved, to help them get clear what they want, so you can all move forward. Thirdly, there is dovetailing outcomes. O n c e you have your outcome and the other person's outcome, you can see how they fit together. You m a y need to negotiate over any differences between them.

Lastly, by keeping outcomes in mind you can notice if you are m o v i n g towards them. If you are not, y o u need to do s o m e t h i n g different.

T h e o u t c o m e frame is an extremely useful pair of spectacles with which to view your actions. In business, if executives do not have a clear view of their outcome, they have no firm basis for decisions and no way of j u d g i n g if an action is useful or not.

Ecology _Frame

Again this has been dealt with explicitly with o u t c o m e s and implicitly throughout the book. H o w do my actions fit into the wider systems of family, friends, professional interests? Is it expressive of my overall integrity as a h u m a n being? A n d does it respect the integrity of the other people involved? C o n g r u e n c e is the way our unconscious mind lets us know about ecology, and is a prerequisite of acting with wisdom.

E v i d e n c e Frame

This concentrates on clear and specific details. In particular how will you know w h e n you have attained your outcome? W h a t will you see, hear and feel? This forms part of the o u t c o m e frame, and is sometimes useful to apply on its own, especially to criteria.

A s I f F r a m e

160 Introducing Neuro-Lmguista Programming

s o m e t h i n g has h a p p e n e d in order to explore possibilities. Start with the words, 'If this happened , . .' or, 'Let's suppose that . . .' T h e r e are m a n y ways this can be useful. For example, if a key person is missing from a meeting, you can ask, 'If X were here, what would she do?' If s o m e o n e knows X well the answers they come up with can be very helpful. (Always check back with X later if important decisions are to be made.)

Another way of using the idea is to project yourself six m o n t h s or a year into a successful future, and looking back, ask, 'What were the steps that we took then, that led us to this state now?' From this perspective you can often discover important information that you cannot see easily in the present because you are too close to it.

Another way is to take the worst case that could happen. What would you do if the worst happened? W h a t options and plans do y o u have? 'As if can be used to explore the worst case as a specific example of a more general and very useful process known as downside planning. (A process insurance companies make a great deal of m o n e y from.)

Backtrack Frame

T h i s frame is simple. You recapitulate the information you have up to that point using the other person's key words and tonalities in the backtrack. T h i s is what makes it different to a summary, which often systematically distorts the other person's words. Backtrack is useful to open a discussion, to update new people in a group, and to check agreement and understanding of the participants in a meeting. It helps build rapport and is invaluable any time you get lost; it clarifies the way forward.

M a n y messages seem to come to agreement, but the participants go away with totally different ideas about what was agreed. Backtrack can keep y o u on course towards the desired outcome.

M E E T I N G S

Although we will describe meetings in a business context, the patterns apply equally to any context where two or more people meet for a c o m m o n purpose. As you read through the rest of this chapter, think of each pattern in whatever context is appropriate to you.

of any business is the people in it. T h e more effective the people become, the more effective the business will be, A business is a team of people working towards a c o m m o n goal. T h e i r success will d e p e n d mainly on how well they deal with these key points:

a) Goal Setting.

b) C o m m u n i c a t i n g effectively within the group and to the outside world.

c) R e a d i n g their environment accurately. Keeping customer needs and responses in mind.

d) C o m m i t m e n t to success: congruence.

T h e resourcefulness, flexibility, perceptual filters, presentation and c o m m u n i c a t i o n skills of the individuals in the business determine how successful it is. N L P addresses the precise skills that create success in the business world.

N L P goes to the heart of a business organization by refining and developing the effectiveness of each individual m e m b e r carrying out these tasks. Business meetings are one place many of these skills will come together. We will start by dealing with co-operative meetings where most people will broadly agree about the outcome. Meetings where there are apparently conflicting o u t c o m e s will be dealt with under negotiation.

M e e t i n g s are purposeful and the purpose of co-operative meetings is likely to be explicit, for example, to meet with colleagues once a week to exchange information, make decisions and allocate responsibility. O t h e r examples would be planning next year's budget, a performance appraisal, or a project review.

As a participant in an important meeting you n e e d to be in a strong, resourceful state, and congruent about the part you have to play. Anchors can help, both before a meeting to get you in a good state, and during a meeting if things start to go awry. R e m e m b e r other people will be anchors for you, and you are an anchor to others. T h e room itself m a y be an anchor. An office is often a place full of the trappings of personal power and success of the person behind the desk. You m a y need all the resources y o u can get.

T h e m e m b e r s h i p and agenda of the m e e t i n g need to be settled in advance. You must be clear about your outcome. You also need an evidence procedure: how you will know if y o u achieve it. You n e e d to be very clear about what you would want to see, hear and feel. If you have no o u t c o m e for the meeting, you are probably wasting your time.

T h e basic format for successful meetings resembles the three minute N L P seminar in Chapter 1:

1 . K n o w w h a t y o u w a n t . 2 . K n o w w h a t others w a n t .

3 . F i n d ways i n w h i c h y o u can all get it.

T h i s seems simple and obvious, but it is often lost in the rough and tumble, and step 3 m a y be difficult if there are widely conflicting interests.

W h e n the meeting starts, get consensus on a shared outcome. It is important that all agree on an o u t c o m e for the meeting, s o m e c o m m o n issue to be dealt with. W h e n you have the outcome, anchor it. T h e easiest way to do this is to use a key phrase, and write it up on a board or flip chart. You will also need to agree on the evidence that will show that the o u t c o m e has been achieved. H o w will everyone know w h e n they have it? U s e the evidence frame.

O n c e again, rapport is an essential step. You will need to establish rapport with the other participants, if you do not have it already, by using non-verbal skills and matching language. Be sensitive to any incongruence in any of the participants about the shared outcome. There may be hidden agendas, and it is better to know about these at the outset, rather than later.

D u r i n g the discussion, the evidence, ecology, backtrack, and As If frames m a y be useful. O n e problem that besets meetings is that they go off track. Before you know it, the time is up and the decision or o u t c o m e has not been achieved. M a n y a meeting has gone off at a t e m p t i n g tangent and ended up in a cul-de-sac.

T h e o u t c o m e frame can be used to challenge the relevance of any contribution and so keep the meeting on track. Suppose a colleague makes a contribution to the discussion that does not s e e m to relate to the mutually-agreed outcome. It m a y be interesting, informative and true, but not relevant. You could say s o m e t h i n g like, T have trouble seeing how that could bring us nearer to our outcome; can you tell us how it fits into this meeting?' You can anchor this relevancy challenge visually with a hand or head movement. T h e speaker must show how his contribution is relevant. If it is not, then valuable time is saved. T h e contribution may be important in another context, in which case recognize it as such, and agree that it be dealt with at another time. Close and summarize each issue as it arises, fitting it into the agreed outcome, or agree to defer it to another m e e t i n g .

you might say s o m e t h i n g like, 'I appreciate that you feel strongly about this issue and it is clearly important to you. However, we agreed that this is not the place to discuss it. C a n we meet later to settle this?' Calibrate for congruence w h e n you make these sorts of proposals. Calibration may tell you that X lights a cigarette w h e n she is happy with the outcome. Y always looks d o w n w h e n he objects (so you ask what he would need to feel OK about the issue), Z bites his nails w h e n u n h a p p y There are so many ways that you can be aware on a deeper level how the m e e t i n g is progressing and sidestep trouble before it arises.

At the close of the meeting, use the backtrack frame and get agreement on progress and the outcome. Clearly define and get agreement on what actions are to be taken and by w h o m . S o m e t i m e s there is not a full agreement, so the close is dependent on certain actions. So you say s o m e t h i n g like, Tf this h a p p e n e d and if X did this and if we persuade Y that this is alright, then we proceed?' T h i s is known as a conditional close.

A n c h o r the agreement with key words and future pace. W h a t will remind the participants to do what they have agreed? Project the agreement out of the room and make sure it is connected to other independent events that can act as signals to remind the people to take the agreed action.

Research has shown that we r e m e m b e r things best w h e n they occur in the first or last few minutes of a meeting. Take advantage of this and place the important points at the b e g i n n i n g and the end of the meeting.

M e e t i n g Format S u m m a r y