Coping Predictability And Temporality

The degree of predictability determined how people managed the periods of time when their spouses were hospitalised out-of-town. Research participants found it easier to cope if they were aware of what was happening or had some past experience on which to base the current hospitalisation. For example as identified earlier in this chapter one of the research participants was a nurse. Therefore:

It didn 't worry me [that my husband was to be treated out-of-town]

because I knew that he was going to be OK. Even if he had had

[complicated] surgery, I knew that, it didn 't worry me, because I knew what it was all about. I didn 't worry about it. I just felt that he would come through. And if he didn 't, well that would be another story, another day. But I just felt quite confident that everything would be OK

The worry and uncertainty associated with predictability provides a good example of how interpretive frameworks are disclosed through language(ing).

F ear can be described in numerous ways, such as alarm; dread which

accompanies circumspection of the unfamiliar; terror or misgivings (Heidegger, 1 962; Kaelin, 1 987). Prediction can also be described in numerous ways. For example the word can be described as a forecast; a hint; prognosis; premonition, or omen. While an omen has negative connotations, a hint has a positive connotation. In either instance, findings of the current study are that the fore­ conception of daily living while awaiting was the uncertainty of outcome.

If the length of time that the person was to be hospitalised was relatively predictable, the research participants could make arrangements to manage their respective businesses, or continue in their paid employment. If the research participants had experienced fear during the time that the spouse was hospitalised in the non-local tertiary centres, the potentiality-for-being was not only

constantly adapting to being-in-the-world, but also oscillating between

anticipating further unknown, and the everyday in a strange environment. These participants discovered that the length of stay out-of-town was unpredictable because they could not be assured that treatment was going to be offered, or that treatment would be successful. However, both the research participants and their spouses needed the research participants to cope despite not being sure of the future:

I got on fine, I think. I mean everybody says to you "How did you cope? " But you just do, you know. It was a little bit chaotic. To try and still be responsible for the business and looking after children . . . To me it was always a temporary arrangement, so we just got on with it and did whatever we had to do. I kept going on, kept going back to that 's what she needed to do to get well. And I would do whatever I could do to

make sure that that happened (Paul, p.3, & p.5).

Although the number of days in hospital was outside the control of health care professionals, nurses need to keep the spouses and the research participants informed about the likely length of stay. Furthermore, although some of the spouses were hospitalised in the non-local tertiary centre for a short period of time, the sense of thrownness is not time-orientated. Predictable and

control what they could do with their time was compromised when the research participants were unable to fore-conceive the potentiality-for-being; as they waited for the end of this phase in their lives. The research participants coped because they relied on the temporality of the situation and were sustained by the

potentiality-for-being together again.

In addition, there were times when other catastrophes occurred for the

participants, such as the spouse developed complications, or accidents occurred at home. On these occasions, the research participants found the catastrophe

challenging to manage, and struggled to maintain the home as well as cope with their spouse's illness. As long as the spouse was hospitalised in a non-local tertiary centre, the research participants either stayed at home and focussed on the household and work, or accompanied their spouse out of town and focus sed on that spouse. When complications occurred, the 'nightmare' began. It was as if another thing to cope with became the catalyst for the research participants to feel that the world had become chaotic again.

[The complications] that was the hardest, that and the folloWing six

weeks was the hardest bit. Trying to cope with [the complications] ... and trying to cope with [this on top of everything else] . I could cope with everything else, but I couldn 't cope with [this] .. .I found it very difficult to cope with the fact that she was a completely changed person. And I found that very hard to cope with. But that 's hard. But, you know, in

between times, no problem at all. But that was, I found that extremely hard to, to cope with . . . That was the bit I was finding hard to cope with (Owen, p.2).

This time of not being-in-the-world was temporary, but as soon as both members of the household were home again the couple moved from the thrownness of being hospitalised in a non-local tertiary centre to a state of living with an illness. Although research participants were surprised that I was interested in how they coped, they identified that there were times when 'others' expected them to cope, but the research participants could not fore-conceive how they would be able to cope, as the hurdles facing them were too high.

I could have coped with it if he wasn 't as sick. I think you can cope with things if things are nice. But it knocks you right on your socks, doesn 't it? It bowls you. If you felt if you could only cope with one thing at a time, you would be able to cope. But life is not like that (Nancy, p. 1 0).

Nancy was guilty because she did not have the opportunity to address life one step at a time, causing her to question her self-resilience.