We can become stuck in patterns that we might not even realise are unhelpful, or that aren’t necessarily bad in themselves but there are more effective routines We take a familiar route to a friend’s house because we know it gets us there and it is within our comfort zone But then we are told about a different much shorter, quicker route We realise that we have actually been wasting a lot of time and energy We mustn’t assume that our patterns can’t be improved The well-beaten pathways in our brains are not always the right track
Changing old patterns is likely to provoke feelings in us We may well have emo- tions attached that need to be acknowledged Change can be daunting and stressful, but it is no use just wishing for a different life and a better world and continuing to do the same things If we want to improve then we need to be ready to change
I met a woman, Genevieve Ellison, who works in Antarctica For six months of the year it is dark for 24 hours a day, and for the other six months there is continuous daylight It was fascinating to hear stories of what happens personally and collectively when the external cues of dark and light were gone, disrupting the usual patterns of sleeping and eating This was an extreme way of testing and releasing patterns!
Releasing patterns can leave a gap It is typical for someone to replace one unhelpful addiction with another: the drinker becomes the over-eater, smoking is replaced with gambling Letting go of the old pattern is more effective if consciously replaced by something that is known to be helpful, such as exercise or an art project Patterns in one area of life are reflected in other areas It can therefore help to shift things indirectly by working on patterns in a different area, and tackling issues side on Practising non-attachment to material possessions can help us to let go of difficult relationships from our past for example Changing small patterns in our lives will start to shift the rigidity of our comfort zone and allow us to experience change in a non-threatening way It will also bring to our attention how often we are on automatic pilot Examples of some easy pattern changes might be brushing our teeth with the opposite hand, trying different meal times or combinations of clothes There may be useful patterns of communication, thinking and behaviour that can be used in other areas This is a key way of using the patterns anchor point.
After actually doing something new we can reflect on how it feels Is it challenging, exciting, refreshing? There are times with children when we don’t want to do something as it might set a precedent We can turn this on its head for ourselves in just trying something once, to break the mould and open our mind to doing it again We can use all our resources to achieve it once – just to know it is possible
Where would we like to be, what would that look, feel and sound like? Visioning the new pattern and the benefits it would bring help spur us on Phrasing it in positive terms provides a hook, rather than reminding us of what we need to forget For example if you are trying to give up smoking it is more helpful to vision healthy lungs, than to repeat the message ‘I will not smoke’ Saying to ourselves ‘I will not eat chocolate today’, is just going to get us thinking about chocolate, but saying ‘I will eat healthy snacks’ is positive framing
All or nothing thinking and behaviour is a common trap to fall into, for example thinking, ‘I won’t be able to give up smoking entirely so there’s no point cutting down
and I won’t try at all’ Initially it can help to set boundaries within the day or week to try a new pattern, exercising one day a week, or delaying the first cigarette of the day The edges can be expanded once it feels comfortable to keep to these boundaries Another way of expanding the edges is to increase the gap between actions, allowing space for something else to occur This starts to break the connections between actions
We need support and willpower to establish a new pattern until it has become anchored in our life We can notice the changes that are occurring and the knock-on effects, and use the momentum of these changes to do more It might be that initially we do not see the benefits: we might need to find acceptance of the disruption and see this as part of the process, a phase that we need to pass through Like redecorating, changes can bring about a mess initially Or perhaps we feel like we are not moving anywhere, just returning to the same point, but if we think of spirals we are slowly moving out, rather than just returning to
the same point
Our ecofootprints are linked to both individual and wider societal patterns We have habits of how much we put our heating on, how often we wash our clothes and the food we buy and eat In order to reduce our footprint and cre- ate the Great Turning we will need to change many of our patterns What is present in the world today is the out- come of individual and collective pat- terns – change these and you change the outcomes With improved patterns we open up alternative ways of seeing and being in the world
An Autobiography in Five Chapters
Chapter 1) I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost … I am hopeless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find my way out.
Chapter 2) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I’m in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long
time to get out.
Chapter 3) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in … it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out
immediately.
Chapter 4) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. Chapter 5) I walk down another street.
Sogyal Rinpoche11
technIques For shIFtIng Patterns
• Consciously replace with a helpful pattern
• Shift things indirectly by working on other patterns
• Do something new and reflect on how that feels
• Envisage the new pattern
• Set boundaries in which to try the new pattern
• Translate effective patterns from other areas of your life
Our Internal Landscape