Dealing with conflict

Conflict arises in teams or between individuals primarily because of lack of understanding of each other’s position or unwillingness to explore the other person’s point of view and search for areas of agreement. One of the best ways to deal with conflict is to impose as a facilitator a somewhat artificial structure on the dialogue between the parties at conflict. Nancy Kline, in her superb book Time to Think, proposes the following structure for resolving issues. First, get the parties involved to agree to the structure below (to contract with them).

Chapter 7 / Contracting, influence and team leadership 173

1 Explain that each party will have up to three minutes to talk and explain their

view. During this time the other party can only listen. They may not ask questions or show agreement or disagreement. They simply pay attention. When each party has their turn they have the space totally to themselves. They don’t need to build on or pay attention to anything the other party has said.

2 After each party has had their three minutes the drill is continued until the

facilitator believes that they have reached a better understanding. Do not stop the process too soon even if one party has gone silent. It is their space.

3 Usually this simple process alone is enough to resolve many issues. If, however,

there is insufficient common ground, then as a facilitator allow each party to question the other party for three minutes at a time. The rule is, though, that all questions should be to check and test understanding and the facilitator will oversee this.

This process is deceitful in its simplicity, but it has enormous power.

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Summary of key ideas

n Consultants need to identify which role to adopt:

– Partner – Coach

– Reflective observer – Hands-on expert.

n The right role to adopt depends on the situation; you need to consider the

organisational situation, characteristics of the client and consultant and the client–consultant relationship.

Team discussion

points

Changing assumptions/beliefs exercise

1 Either identify a specific area you want to work on or choose one from the list of:

leaders, race, nuclear weapons, marriage or divorce, food, politics, religion, dentists, the medical profession, bosses, sex, education, money, exercise, unemployment, consultants, your partner, alcohol, smoking, family, work.

2 What are some of the beliefs and messages you have about the issue you’ve chosen? 3 What would you like to be possible for you in relation to this issue? Phrase this as

an objective in about half a dozen words.

4 Which is the main belief or message that you feel stops you achieving your objective? 5 Exploring your limiting assumption in more detail:

n How does this assumption affect your behaviour?

n How does it serve you or help you?

n What does it stop you from seeing or doing about yourself and others?

n How long have you had it?

n How strong is it?

n What would be a freeing assumption for you? Note your incisive question here:

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n Influencing is a key consulting skill as it enables things to be moved forward. n Rapport is the skill of building cooperative relationships done through match-

ing your behaviour with others.

n Underlying assumptions and beliefs can limit change and impact a consulting

project.

n Thinking of the possible outcome before you respond to an event can help the

situation.

n Outcome-frame thinking empowers you as you get a more positive response. n Advocacy is about getting your view across clearly and succinctly.

n Listening is a powerful tool but there are different levels:

– Internal, centred on me

– Focused, centred on the speaker – Global, on everyone.

n Powerful questions can elicit information otherwise difficult to extract. n The most effective team leadership style has been shown to be the ‘democratic’

one where everyone feels involved; this in turn affects the climate positively.

n In order for a team to be successful it must be right from the start.

n Dealing with conflict can be done by the use of a facilitator and time to discuss

disagreements.

Key reading

Champion, D.P., Kiel D.H. and McLendon, J.A. (1990) ‘Choosing a consulting role’,

Training and Development Journal, 1 February.

Tannenbaum, R. and Schmidt, W.H. (1973) ‘How to choose a leadership pattern’,

Harvard Business Review, 1 May.

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Summary of key ideas

Key reading

Further reading