develop all potentials ethical

clarity seeking

intense

perfectionistic

high expectations

unre

alistic

overly-persistent

strict

interfering

puritanical

preachy

many //shouldsN

overly serious

Positive Core Value Tendencies

You value and are attracted to

goodness.

You want to make

the world a better place to live in. You want to realize all of your potentials and help oth­ ers actualize theirs.

You have an appreciation for and a dedication to excellence and doing things well. You have an ability to see how people or situations could be and you are willing to work hard to bring about that real­ ity.

You have a highly developed critical faculty and so are good at quality control.

You have the ability to be ex­ act, to get the correct point. You have a clarity of focus and intention. You like to be pre­ cise.

You are altruistic and have an idealistic concern for people and causes beyond yourself.

Distorted Core Characteristics

You can overidentify with the

idealized self-image of being

good, right, or perfect.

These

become more important than anything else . If you are a good girl or good boy, then you are acceptable.

You are afraid to do anything unless you can do it perfectly.

You have difficulty accepting

yourself, other people, and re­

ality as it is.

You can become preoccupied with what is wrong or miss­ ing and consequently may not appreciate what is actually there.

You can become pedantic about what is right. You can get overly preoccupied with details and with getting every­ thing right. You can become obsessive or compulsive. You may not consider your own needs, wants, and feel­ ings as important as what you

Positive Core Value Tendencies

You desire, are committed to and take action to bring about a better world.

You have strong feelings about and become intensely involved in whatever you value.

You are conscientious, dedi­ cated, persevering, reliable, hardworking, and industri­ ous.

You are serious. You live your life with high intentions, ide­ als, and purpose.

You have an appreciation for fairness and justice.

You have a strong moral char­ acter. You try to live your life true to a higher good and a higher vision. You want to live a life of moral purity.

Distorted Core Characteristics

You have a tendency to inter­ fere with or to intrude upon others' lives to make them bet­ ter-for their own good. You can be overzealous. You can be unwilling to see an­ other point of view. You have difficulty stepping back and being dispassionate.

You can become over-respon­ sible and a workaholic. You become tense and live your life under pressure with time running out to do all the good that must be done.

You can take yourself and situ­ ations too seriously. You de­ velop an inability to play and

have fun.

You are prone to resentment since you tend to readily judge that life isn't fair.

You can be moralistic and pu­ ritanicaL You are tyrannized by your shoulds.

Objective Paradigm

Wholeness

Adaptive Cognitive Schema:

You understand perfection to be a

process,

as something you will always be on your way towards.

You trust the growth process in yourself and others. The universe is unfolding as it should.

You can appreciate the mo­ ment as it is. You enjoy your­ self and others as dappled. You are right now just where you ought to be.

Virtue:

Serenity

Adaptive Emotional Schema:

You are in touch with and are at ease with yourself. You are able to relax in the process of living. You experience the bal­ ance and harmony between opposites.

Distorting Paradigm

Perfection

Maladaptive Cognitive Schema:

You think of perfection in terms of a finished

product,

as something you should have achieved yesterday.

You set your own unreachable standards because you don't trust your natural unfolding and development.

You believe you need to im­ prove upon the moment. The better is the enemy of the good. Instead of leaving your­ self, or others, alone, you in­ terrupt and interfere by trying to make it better.

Passion:

Anger

Maladaptive Emotional Schema:

Anger can become an habitual emotional attitude for you. You are resentful because nothing meets your high stan­ dards and your expectations aren't fulfilled. You engage in all-or-nothing, black-and­ white thinking. Either it's per­ fect or it's no good at all.

Area of Avoidance:

Anger

You are uncomfortable being angry and find this feeling unac­ ceptable even though it is a frequent reaction of yours. Good boys and girls should not be angry.

Defense Mechanism:

Reaction Formation

To keep your angry impulses out of your awareness, you do the opposite of what you are inclined to do. For example, instead of confronting someone, you are nice to them; or instead of being sexual, you become puritannical.

How the Distortion of This Style Developed

•

You were rewarded for being good and doing the right thing;

you were punished for being bad and doing bad things.

• You got approval by being a good boy or good girl.

•

You developed the belief that you were "somebody" if your

ideals were higher than everybody else's, and you were "no­ body" if you weren't perfect.

•

You believed that by seeking excellence and having high stan­

dards you would be better than others.

•

Being an over-achiever brought you good feelings and social

approval.

•

You came to believe that others wouldn't like you unless you

were perfect.

•

You discovered you could do things better or do things right

if you did them yourself.

•

You learned to control yourself and others and the situation

by following the rules and prescribed shoulds.

• You were given, or you assumed, responsibility at a young

age. You were expected to grow up early and be a parent to your siblings and maybe even to your own parents.

•

You may have been the eldest or an older child .

•

You learned at home or at school that being angry was unac­

What You Miss as a Result of the Distortion of Your Style

•

Spontaneity; fun; 1ighthearted gaiety.

•

More carefree interactions with people.

•

Trust in yourself, others, reality.

•

Going with the flow; enjoying the process instead of control­

ling and pushing the river.

•

Feeling relaxed.

•

Tolerance and acceptance instead of being under the

gun,

scru-

tinized, criticized, pressured.

•

Being yourself instead of having to prove yourself.

•

Living the unexamined life.

•

Doing something half-well just because you like to do it or

because it's worth doing even half-well.

Paradigm Shifts You May Experience Under Stressful Conditions

A Shift to the Low Side of Your Own Style

•

You may try even harder to right the situation or make your­

self better.

•

You might strive more, push more, work more-to the point

of exhaustion.

•

You may become more rigid and strict with yourself and oth­

ers.

•

You may get more resentful because your goodness isn't fairly

recompensed. You are good, you try hard, and you don't feel rewarded; and that isn't fair.

•

You might become more serious, angry, frustrated, morose,

and depressed.

A Shift to the Low Side of Style 4

•

You may feel misunderstood, victimized, taken advantage of.

You may feel bad because the world doesn't appreciate your efforts to make it better.

•

You might attempt to be specialif you can't be right or perfect

•

You may become more critical of yourself sometimes to the

point of saying: II

What's the use. I'm hopeless. 111 never be

In document Jerome Wagner - An Introduction to the Enneagram (1996) (Page 47-53)