Until the school he felt he wasn’t very happy. He served God so much and he doesn’t have anything now. Many of the people who studied with him went to America or they are all in businesses. He served God for so much and he is only getting negatives. He sold his house, his wife left, and his baby died and his friends left him. He asked God all the time why. He got the answer here. He said he wants his hands to be clean and without anything, empty. He said God is going to work with him when his hands are empty
Here he got a new calling. He met Jesus again. He forgot that the most important thing for him is Jesus. He said that if he had a house and a good job, God couldn’t have used
him. Then he would be tied to something and now since he is not tied to anything, he can go do anything. So he is not tied
He learned what God’s plan was. He found out that God wants to use him more and he repented a lot
He cried a lot, so when he was crying all the bad things in his heart went out. So the most important thing was that he got healed inside. It widened his view and he could just see more things. It got widened up
He got more faith and he figured that there is very little time, and he said that he is going to give what he has, to give every minute for God because there is something really important that God wants to do. That is the most important thing in life
He wanted to die here and that he changed his heart again. It was like he has cleaned an old bowl to use it again. In this school, God told him very specifically, He told him with every word. He turned him upside down and inside out and He cleaned him, washed him in his mind, how he is thinking. He saw how God was working through him step by step
He [God] helped him to love the missionaries. He found out how important it is to be a missionary
He found out that if God loves him, if he loves other people, other nations ... and he also learned that it is not money that moves the missionaries, it is the Holy Spirit who moves the missionaries
He can feel himself spiritually growing and he knows that there are many pastors like him and Satan tricks him. Satan stole all the important things from them and he thinks that he needs to go to those pastors and help them
He thinks that missionaries should help develop the local cultures. That shows how much they love them, because if they try to give their own culture to the people, it shows how much they love themselves
For him, he feels he’s got to remember that he is always the helper, so that he will always go and help. He needs to remember that he is always a servant. He always needs to remember that. He always has to see how he can help. He has to fulfil the needs of the people
I got a right understanding about missions. I had a reassessment of values
I had a new dedication to God. My faith was strengthened. And here I felt like God really loves me, because I am His child and He is my Father
I felt like God was using (a teacher, teaching on spiritual warfare) to burn on people’s hearts. My heart was called for war and for victory through her
All the topics were connected, they were taught one after another, consecutively. They gave me strength and hope. I really liked all the topics. I felt them inside of me. I am free now
The most important thing is that I had a great change in my heart. I received freedom and confidence in my calling
I see Jesus differently now. My heart has expanded and I understand that the plan of God for my life is so much bigger. Jesus is Great and Almighty. Nothing is impossible for Him. For example, I was always afraid to go somewhere to do ministry. I always thought that a missionary should have a nice car, a house and a lot of money, but here I understood that this is not important
Here I learned how to cry and how to admit my mistakes. I learned how to give them to God. Now I feel God even though I am sad. I am free now!
My faith grew. I have no fear when difficulties come in my life. God taught me how to give everything to Him. I see myself as a missionary now
I want to put in order my personal spiritual life. I am going to build relationships with other pastors and leaders. I am going to pass the fire I received here. I am going to pray for partners because I don’t want to be by myself on a mission field. I want to help other ministers who God had chosen. I want to help them to do missions. Church has resources and strength. The church is a body and we need this body to support us.
Reflection on the Transformative Learning Experience of Student #1
Engagement with the curriculum in both informative and transformative learning (Kegan, 2009:42-3) for Student #1 is recognisable in representative statements which relate to a changed mindset regarding inter-personal relationships with others and God. His statements are self-reflective in comments such as ‘a great change in my heart’ and ‘heart expanded’. As this student critically reflected on his life, he acknowledged his own response of repentance before God, evidenced by a reassessment of personal values, desire to put things in order in his personal spiritual life and to build relationships (Mezirow & Associates, 2000:7-8).
I had the privilege of visiting Student #1 in his home country after Holy Given and observed that his learning had been transformative, evidenced in how he now approached
and embraced others and his attitudes towards them (O'Sullivan, 2002:11). His statements in Holy Given had attested to a greater understanding of missions and of God’s love for him, consequently increasing his sense of his own identity (Fried, 2006:5). Holy Given had helped him move back to the heart of His calling and to do what God wanted him to be doing with his life. The outworking of this was that he was now finding his own path rather than feeling he needed to base his life on the expectations of those around him. As noted by Fried, ‘Powerful learning transforms how students view themselves and the world’ (2006:5). For Student #1, acknowledging many of the situations he was facing when he came to Holy Given had not changed or been resolved; he now had mechanisms in place to help him cope.
Excerpts from Data Indicating Transformative Learning – Student #2
I had lots of revelations and God was even rebuking me. Through the practical part I was getting delivered
I learned that it is very important to recognise yourself, to know that you live on this earth and to know that you are loved. Through Lesley’s lectures God was showing me every day how I am to love. I wept; I couldn’t hold my tears. God was saying, ‘Look, I promised you to show My love and you are going to be ashamed that you didn’t see My love before’
Now I am seeking more of Him and my relationship with Him more. I am seeking more of spiritual things rather than of flesh. Now in every word and in every prayer I feel strength
I could pray in tongues for seven hours before, but I didn’t have this communication with God like I am having now. Especially today we had a short lecture, but I still feel His closeness and I am full of joy
I am going to start my personal prayers. I am going to put in order my relationship with the Lord. I am going to intercede like I was doing for the last five years, but now I am going to do it with a different view and understanding. I am going to share the love I received here from God. I am going to ask God before saying, ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. I am going to ask for strength from the Lord so I can see Him, and see Him in everybody. As Pastor Lesley said, we are God’s creation, and we are to listen to Him instead of talking a lot. Before solving a problem with somebody or with something I am going to pray for it. I am going to pray for my faith that it would not shake. Maybe this will sound funny, but when I am going to say, ‘I love you’ I am going to give a hug. I saw this in the school.
Reflection on the Transformative Learning Experience of Student #2
From these representative statements, Student #2 showed evidence of transformative learning as she gained understanding of the importance of ‘recognising yourself’ and ‘to know that you are loved’. Analysing her conversations with God showing His love to her indicates she did not see the extent of this before, and is in an ongoing process of change that will continue, as she remains open for this. Overall, her statements point to changes in her thinking of herself in the world (Fried, 2006:5), wanting now to give love that she has received from God to others, and in her response of wanting to ‘put in order (her) relationship with the Lord’, and to intercede ‘with a different view and understanding’. The statement, ‘I am now seeking more of spiritual things rather than the flesh’ comes on the backdrop of being hosted in many different ‘fancy’ restaurants prior to the commencement of this school in the local community. At school Student #2 related to me, ‘God told me, did you come here for this? Deal [with] your flesh; let your spirit be free from your flesh. I am going to show you My love’. In response, the student fasted for two or three days and then on and off during the school, even though it was difficult for her, especially when being taken out and offered local delicacies. In this process of self-denial, praying and seeking God for guidance, she discovered God’s strength, closer communication with Him and increased desire to obey Him and receive all she could from God himself. Her critical self-reflection on these events had effected change in her perspectives and intentions for the future (Mezirow & Associates, 2000:5).
Excerpts from Data Indicating Transformative Learning – Student #3
This course helped me to understand better how to tell people about Jesus; it helped me how to serve in the right way
Through (a teacher) I learned that I should have my own song in my heart
Through (Lesley-Anne) I learned that I should have my own close relationship with God
My life and my heart was changed. I was able to see sins within myself that I was not admitting before. Now I don’t get frustrated or offended with anybody
I am going to share with others with what I have gone through during the school. I am going to work on my sins that God showed me during the school.
Reflection on the Transformative Learning Experience of Student #3
Representative statements from Student #3 describe recognition of a ‘change in her life and heart’ in terms of a more accepting attitude towards others, and being able to see sin that she was unwilling to admit before. This further influenced future actions (Mezirow & Associates, 2000:5) as she took responsibility to continue working on this (Association of American Colleges and Universities, 2002:xi). Representative statements indicate a major paradigm shift took place on her first meeting with God. During the school I observed how deeply Student #3 integrated informative and transformative learning (Kegan, 2009:42-3). She was very open to learning both inside and outside the classroom (Fried, 2006:5), and it was clear that the Holy Spirit was the epistemological agent of her learning, as she felt guided both in conviction of sin and confident to address the issues that arose or her.
Excerpts from Data Indicating Transformative Learning – Student #4
This course helped me to understand the heart of God in my culture
Before, I use what I know than to hear from God. Now I want to hear from God, follow Him
[Of most impact in the curriculum was about] who we are in God, because it help to stand firm faith
I am ready to give Jesus my life to use. I am ready to open to Holy Spirit. I believe Holy Spirit wait me
My cry inside me, ‘I want to see the people to come to the Lord’. That is, that is the big thing for me now, I see God is going to help me with things I need but my heart is to see (my nation) come to the Lord. HG has given me the right way through the tradition and the church – how I can go help people to know the heart of God
I really want to give my life fully to the Lord Jesus. I am ready to see how He is going to do from now
The first day, Lesley came to talk about the responsibility to care one another. For me, I feel better for (my nation), all I feel. I see like the Kingdom of (my nation) to hear and understand this thing
You know, God ... He coming to use me the way – I feel to go everywhere God wants to
Now I am ready to listen what God want to do. The form I write, and I am saying now, I wanted to go to follow the step of the Lord Jesus, that is what He say
For me, I know how I am going to help the people to be coming together and pray together, but I know – like now I know that it is me, me is the first one to listen to the Holy Spirit and the way He gave me every step, every step, I believe it is going to open the door every – everywhere
(A teacher) preached about Samaritan woman and I had a vision to see the people coming. The people they don’t know Jesus, they don’t know themselves, except Jesus. I have the eyes now to see, to see people what Jesus is saying, ‘I am coming to find the lost’. I had two vision to help people outside. Jesus showed me people bound inside and outside
I’m saying, ‘Here is the time for revelation, many revelations’. When I arrive at my home it is the time to say, ‘Lord, here I am now! I am not coming to do my will, I want to follow your will right now’
The prayer is the key! I read two books here – it is true they are saying – if we pray the Kingdom of God come here, people see the Kingdom of God here. Now it is clear, another book was saying, we need to follow, to seek the face of God, not the things of God, the face of God. If we seek the face, God show mercy, show everything to us. I want to hear the heart of God. I really want God.
Reflection on the Transformative Learning Experience of Student #4
These representative statements and observations, indicate that Student #4 has engaged with the curriculum in informative and transformative learning (Kegan, 2009:42-3). Core perspectives and beliefs show evidence of having been reconceptualised as he describes the transition from doing what he ‘knew’ to now wanting to ‘hear from God to follow Him,’ and being ‘ready to listen what God wants to do.’ These experiences appear to have had a strong influence in guiding him to future action (Mezirow & Associates, 2000:5) to help people know the heart of God. This is also evident in the shift in his thinking from the ‘things of God’ to the ‘face of God’ and understanding of the importance of unity and prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit first. It was clearly observable that during the school this student experienced a significant change in mindset (Mezirow & Associates, 2000:7-8) after powerful, ongoing encounters with the Holy Spirit. Each day we observed his openness to the Holy Spirit and readiness ‘to give Jesus’ his life to use for the future in his nation, reliant on the Holy Spirit (Johns, 2001:6).
Excerpts from Data Indicating Transformative Learning – Student #5
I think HG has done a lot in my life because it teaches me more what it means to have intimacy with my God. Of course, I know that I need to be close to God, but the way has been brought out of the intimacy. It has come in a greater way that I think that I never knew before. I love the Lord, yes, and have lived for the Lord – desire to please my God in everything. But I think when I speak of intimacy, [this] has been emphasised, and I thank God. I think that I go back home a different person. I go back home looking at things differently and wanting really that closer walk with God
I think this is something that I will miss – the worship that we had here. That has also really helped
[I asked myself] What are the idols in my heart that are keeping me from getting closer to my God? And those are the things that I think HG has tried to tear them down and [that] we desire. I mean, one day we had to write down all the things that hinder us from getting close to God. I remember that you put a rock – where you dropped the rock behind the rope. So you say we need to have freedom, so freedom came about when we dropped all those things that hinder us from getting closer to our God. So I think that the other lesson of transformation of the mind and the heart. That also really spoke to me so much
Things are different. I thank God things are different. I am going home equipped. I am going back home as a missionary – I am a missionary and am seriously desiring to walk with my God
I think that is what I have to say about here after HG, that I have that closer intimacy now with my God
Of course, in Christian life we have to grow from one growth of glory to another. I think I have grown to another degree, or level
I didn’t really take it serious that we all are all missionaries in the sense that we are all commissioned to reach out to other people
I am going back as a missionary so things are going to be different and things are going to change. I think I go back with that power or with that eager
[What impacted me most at HG was] the teaching of going out – to reach out to the marginalised, to the poor
I think that you have inspired me that obedience is better than sacrifice. Through that, God can do a lot in my life. The Lord can use me