Experiment and Analysis

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Jesus was not a legalist, and his absolute prohibition of divorce served only as a guideline, which the Matthean community revised when adherence to it was no longer possible.¹²⁹ Others have argued that Matthew had felt it necessary to align Jesus‘ teaching with that of the school in the wake of the Rabbinic debates of his day. Still others contend that the exception clause had applied only to incestuous marriages, which were becoming more common as Gentile presence increased in the Matthean community. G. Ewald opines that Jesus can be referred to as a legalist in the sense of setting up absolutes. Besides, there is no internal evidence to prove that Jesus supported the school.¹³⁰

The betrothal view must be taken with all skepticism as it amounts to imposing a meaning or a view which is not explicitly stated in a text. Similarly, it is assumed that a word that has both the narrow and broad meanings, as in the case of porneia, must not be denied appropriate interpretations.

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of Laney's and Heth's. We will rather lend support to Thomas R. Edgar's view that differences exist between marital kinship and blood relationship.¹³⁴

The different views still make the right interpretation of the divorce and remarriage passages difficult. The available option is to look at the passages in the context of the cultural practices and locate Jesus' teaching within the cultural milleu.

2. 4 Marriage and Adultery among few ethnic groups in Nigeria 2.4. 1 Marriage

Marriage is one of the rites of passage among many ethnic groups in Nigeria. In most cases, refusal to marry is a sign of ill luck and it is against the mores and norms of the majority of the ethnic groups to remain single. As soon as a man is mature enough to get married, there will be encouragement to do so from members of the community.

On sex, practice is different in cultures, even within the same ethnic group. In some cultures, there should be no physical intimacy between a girl and a boy who are engaged to each other. Among the Yoruba Oyo, Ijebu, Ekiti, Egba and Igbomina of southwestern Nigeria, it is a shameful thing for a man and a woman to be living together before marriage. This is the reason for the alarina, the intermediary, who helps to disseminate information either from the girl or from the boy. They should not have sexual intercourse until they are formally wedded. In traditional Yoruba culture, a girl found to have lost her virginity faces shame from the husband and his family. To proof the purity of his wife before marriage, the husband makes a one-yard white cloth available. The white blood- stained cloth is shown to families of the husband and the wife as a proof of the bride's virginity in the morning following the night of the consummation of marriage. A blood-stained white cloth is an indication that the woman has not lost her virginity. Full match boxes or filled jars of palm wine is sent to the bride's parents as a symbol of appreciation for training their child in a godly way and helping to keep her pure for the groom. If otherwise, half-full match boxes or half-full jars of palm wine is sent. The situation is the same among the Igbo people of eastern Nigeria. Premarital sex is not encouraged.

134 W. A. Heth, 1990. Divorce, but no remarriage, in Divorce and remarriage: four Christian views. Edited by H.

Wayne House (Illinois: InterVarsity Press), 138.

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Among the Hausa ethnic group, a husband who discovers that the girl he has married is not a virgin will proclaim her shame to the entire town by breaking a pot outside his house.

Among the Fulani and other subtribes of the Hausa, the custom forbids sexual intercourse between young people who are betrothed.

Some other tribes, however, view premarital intercourse as a kind of trial marriage. The Piri suitor cohabits with his fiancée for a period of four months in her mother's compound. Some of them may bear children before marriage, depending on the length of courtship. The young men are usually happy to marry these young mothers. Among the ethnic groups who accept premarital sex, no stigma is attached to the young woman who bears a child before marriage.

The child is claimed by the girl's family, except where the father of the child is the girl's betrothed husband and has paid the bride price in full. Kona boys and girls who are betrothed may cohabit. If the girl conceives, the boy has to make additional payments to her father, presumably on the ground that her fertility has been proven. Some ethnic groups practice the custom of placing young women under the care of their betrothed ones before they reach marriageable age; this is common among the Kona, Margi, Mumuye, and Mumbake, as well as the Mosi ethnic groups. The objective appears to be twofold. First, the responsibility for the girl's upbringing and chastity is thrown on the fiancé's family. Second, the appropriation of the girl by her betrothed husband is clearly signified. As a result of pre-nuptial relations, a man can repudiate his betrothal wife at any time without the payment of damages in Hausaland.¹³⁵

However, among the traditional Yagba Yoruba of Kogi state of Nigeria a man and a woman live together as husband and wife before marriage. Among the traditional Ce people of central Nigeria premarital relations are common; no virtue is attached to virginity before marriage. A boy goes to his girl friend's house, builds a hut(farka) where he comes to sleep with her.¹³⁶ Hence, what is ethically wrong as far as sex is concerned in one culture is ethically right in another. Besides, there is a practice whereby a woman who does not want to marry a particular man is forced to do so either by kidnapping her or by raping her. In some cultures, the parents of the bride are aware of such arrangements. Hence, the issue of premarital sex becoming a sin is not applicable in such a situation.

135 F. M. Mugaji. "Hausa cultural marriage". www.weddingtrendy.com/.... Retrieved on February 22, 2013.

136 R.M. Blench, 2011. The Ce [Rukuba] language of Central Nigeria and its affinities(Cambridge: Kay Williamson Educational Foundation) , 2-3.

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Among the Hausa of northern Nigeria, marriage is a highly valued milestone. It is the backbone of socio-economic and political development and there is harmony when properly maintained.¹³⁷ Marriage in the Hausa sense is not limited to the nuclear or extended family alone.¹³⁸ Marriage among the Hausa is a microcosm of the wider universe. By implication, therefore, marriages have to be built on solid and reliable foundations as against fantasies, fancies, or passion.

Fatsuma Musa Mugaji lists the various kinds of marriage practices among the Hausa.

They include junior levirate marriage, whereby a younger brother may marry his late senior brother's wife or wives; and sororate marriage, whereby a man may marry his late wife's sister.

Other types of marriage in Hausaland include cousins' marriage, known as auren zumunta. Here, a man or woman may marry anyone from a second cousin onward. Polygyny is very popular, especially among the Hausa Muslims, where sometimes, a man marries as many women as he could. Polyandry is not popular; but it is also practised in some cases. A woman may refuse to pack to any man's house. She has her own house (home) and allows men in.¹³⁹ She also bears them children and quite often the children stay with her.¹⁴⁰ Among the Fulani nomads, "wife lending" to a husband's brother or son is regarded as an act of reciprocal hospitality. Other tribes in Hausaland such as the Munshi, Amgula, Yergurn, Rukuba, and Lungu, practice marriage by

"wife abduction." Other types of marriage in Hausaland include "marriage by purchase" (women are seen as transferable property) and "marriage by exchange" (one man gives his sister or daughter to a friend for a wife in exchange for a wife for himself). Marriage can also be by

"capture," in most cases with the girl's consent, or by elopement.¹⁴¹

One major feature that cannot be overlooked in Hausa traditional marriage is the role of the Mai Dalilin Aure . The Dilali business is usually done by elderly Hausa women dealing with second-hand items most times though they also sell new items at times. All these depend on availability. They go from house to house to collect, sell and return the proceeds to the women in

137 M. H. Kurfi, 2001. Changing patterns of marriage courtship among the Hausas: the case emerging role of marriage brokerage in contemporary Kano metropolis. Journal of Sociological Research, vol. 3, no.1, 46.

138 M. H. Kurfi, 2001. Changing patterns of marriage courtship among the Hausas: the case emerging role of marriage brokerage in contemporary Kano metropolis. Journal of Sociological Research, vol. 3, no.1, 49.

139F. M. Mugaji. "Hausa cultural marriage". www.weddingtrendy.com/.... Retrieved on February 22, 2013.

140 A. Abdullahi, a trained tailor in Shasha area, Oojo, Ibadan.

141 F. M. Mugaji. "Hausa cultural marriage". www.weddingtrendy.com/.... Retrieved on February 22, 2013.

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seclusion.¹⁴² Kurfi observes that the Dillaliya was performing another function which was to link suitors. According to him:

After she might have gone into a household and realized that there was an unmarried lady, she would seek for relevant information and possibly collect the lady's picture. The Dillaliya upon, arriving another household sometimes at a distant area would advertise the goods that she carried and then opened a chapter of discussion with reference to and in favour of the lady whose photograph would be made available on demand. She would have many photographs of women seeking men to marry but could tactfully introduce the discussions and evidence only when ―appropriate.‖ Thus, the Dillaliya was multipurpose, providing series of services including selling new and used goods, exchanging goods for other goods; and above all, linking suitors in disguise.¹⁴³

However, Kurfi opines that that there is a change in the pattern of finding suitors and courtship among the Hausa people. Today, both men and women are in the business of finding the best suitors for the unmarried women, bachelors, divorcees, widows, separated and those interested in increasing their number of wives. They are referred to as the Masu Dalilin Aure (Mai -singular).

This stems from the rise of social networking services through websites like Facebook, Twitter, To go, and Linked in, and so on which have provided other channels of social utility that connect people with friends, relatives, and people who could marry each other.¹⁴⁴

Among the Urhobo of Delta State, Nigeria, marriage has certain processes that must be followed. Esavwijoto occurs when parents propose marriage on behalf of their son or daughter at an early age. Pledges of this nature are also made and redeemed as a result of observed exemplary character of a young girl or boy. It could be made as a reward for exceptional valour.

Normally, with this type of marriage, love develops between the couple only after marriage has been officially contracted.¹⁴⁵

Ose is a form of marriage recognised as binding, but in which the traditional bride-price has not been paid by the husband's family and accepted as prescribed. Couples may live together or apart, but enjoy full de facto conjugal rights and exclusiveness. However, both enjoy limited

142 M.A.Y. Lewu, 2009. Hausa settlers in Ilorin Metropolis: an appraisal of Hausa women economic activities.

Lapai Journal of Central Nigeria History, vol.2, no.2: 75.

143 M. H. Kurfi, 2001. Changing patterns of marriage courtship among the Hausas: the case emerging role of marriage brokerage in contemporary Kano metropolis. Journal of Sociological Research, vol. 3, no.1, 49.

144 M. H. Kurfi, 2001. Changing patterns of marriage courtship among the Hausas: the case emerging role of marriage brokerage in contemporary Kano metropolis. Journal of Sociological Research, vol. 3, no.1, 49.

145 Marriage the Urhobo way. www.naamywedding .com. Retrieved on January 21, 2013.

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customary legal rights in that the bride price has not been paid. Some notable distinctions of this type of marriage are that such husband will not be allowed to bury and mourn his parents- in- law, like a fully married man.

―Arranged marriage in absentia‖ is a form of marriage in which the male, who is usually abroad or outside Urhoboland, would request his parents or family to marry a lady of their choice for him. Both potential husband and wife may not have seen or met each other previously.

During such a marriage ceremony, the man‘s brother or a nominated relative would represent him as husband of the bride. The wife may be required to spend some time with the absent husband‘s family before being despatched to her new husband. Love may or may not develop when they meet for the first time. If they like each other, the marriage may be consummated and is likely to survive. In some cases, either of the party may refuse to go ahead with the marriage and calls it off.¹⁴⁶

Onoawarie Edevbie observes that some people view the bride price being paid as nothing more than a token of appreciation for all of the efforts expended by a family in raising a girl.¹⁴⁷ He avers that speaking of the payment of bride price as a token of appreciation is an understatement. The role of bride price in Isoko-Urhobo traditional wedding is rather unique, as it places a number of obligations, duties and responsibilities on many of the individuals involved in a series of events as they occur before and during the lifetime of the marriage. One prime reason for the demand of the bride price is the need to secure, legitimize and enhance the place of a woman in a home. The proof of payment of bride price remains the sole indicator in Isoko-Urhobo culture of the transition from being an unmarried woman to a position of respect and honour in the society as a married woman. Without the bride price, the place of the woman in Isoko-Urhobo society is not secure, neither do women feel obligated to a man who is yet to make the payment. Hence, until the payment of the bride price is made on her behalf, the woman in Isoko-Urhobo culture is not regarded as legally married to anyone. Thus, an essential purpose of the bride price is to help put a stamp of approval and legality on the living arrangement between a man and a woman, as some would say, to keep the wife in her husband‘s home. A man who

146Marriage the Urhobo way. www.naamywedding .com. Retrieved on January 21, 2013.

147 Onoawarie Edevbie. A Text for Isoko-Urhobo traditional marriage.

www.org/urhoboculture/marriage_family.html. Retrieved on January 1, 2013.

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has not paid the bride fee for a woman has no claim under Isoko-Urhobo traditional laws and custom to being called the husband of the woman even if he lives, or has children, with her.¹⁴⁸

The payment also provides the necessary legitimacy for the place or role of children in many Isoko-Urhobo families. Children whose fathers failed or omitted to pay bride fee are regarded as emọrọse (children born out of wedlock) and are known to have been discriminated against or have been denied family privileges.¹⁴⁹

Esuo describes the final stage of a full marriage according to Urhobo custom.¹⁵⁰ It denotes the completion of all antecedent requirements necessary on the part of the husband. It is the escorting of the bride by her family with her property to the head of the husband‘s family, and handing her over until her death to the groom‘s family. A special ceremony is usually performed to invoke the husband‘s ancestors to also receive her, and bind her over in fidelity to their son – the husband. The entire women receive the bride, eat and dance in the special room prepared for the bride till the dawn of the following day.¹⁵¹

Donald Anyanwu avers that among the Igbo people, it is a common practice for parents to arrange marriage for their children.¹⁵² However, Joachim Ifezuo Oforchukwu notes that it is only a privilege for parents to choose a wife for their son, because the son could reject his parents‘ choice. Hence, some might see marriage as the mutual agreement of a man and a woman to live together as husband and wife. C.A. Obi, nevertheless, sees marriage as a primary structure in Igbo social economy. It is a union between a man and a woman lasting for as long as the couple live. It is a social structure that promotes association and agreement between two families.¹⁵³ One area of importance is the involvement of not only the family members, but also of the entire community. Such is the intermarriage between the dialas and the osu. The former literally means the freeborn or ‗sons of the soil.‘ In other words, they are masters. The latter are outcasts, inferior human beings and people dedicated to the gods.¹⁵⁴ In some places, dialas are

148 Onoawarie Edevbie. A Text for Isoko-Urhobo traditional marriage.

www.org/urhoboculture/marriage_family.html. Retrieved on January 1, 2013.

149Marriage the Urhobo way. www.naamywedding .com. Retrieved on January 21, 2013.

150Marriage the Urhobo way. www.naamywedding .com. Retrieved on January 21, 2013.

151Marriage the Urhobo way. www.naamywedding .com. Retrieved on January 21, 2013.

152 D. Anyawu. Interviewed on 16th March, 2013.

153 C.A. Obi, Vincent A. Nwosu, et al, 1985. A hundred years of the Catholic Church in Eastern Nigeria- 1885-1985(Africana-Fep Publishers Limited),

154H. Umahi, 2012. "Apartheid in Nigeria: Igbo men, women who can't freely marry or be married."

http://yemitom.wordpress.com/. Retrieved on May 04, 2013.

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said to avoid contact with their osu brethren, even during the Holy Communion.¹⁵⁵ Henry Umahi observes that there is a remarkable improvement in the fortune of the osu. The dialas would not allow any form of marriage with the an osu. Any marriage with an osu defiles the family and anything would be done to disrupt any association between a diala and an osu.¹⁵⁶ A diala was ostracized from her family for consenting to marry a man whom the family described as osu. He or she cannot buy or sell things in the village market. In fact, his kinsmen will be under obligation not to relate with him in any manner till death.¹⁵⁷

Though Obi et al opine that the normal age for marriage among the Igbo people is 25 to 28 for the man and 14 to 18 for the girl,¹⁵⁸ Joachim Ifezuo Oforchukwu is of the opinion that the age of marriage in Igboland differs from community to community.¹⁵⁹ Daniel Jordan Smith observes that "Great pride is expressed about the fact that Igbos pay high bridewealth" for marriage rights¹⁶⁰. If a woman is "childless after a given time, the man becomes free to take back his bride price with which he can seek another woman in marriage"¹⁶¹. It can then be said that begetting children is the primary purpose why the Igbo people enter into marriage contract. Umeora Ouj claims that "misconceptions and erroneous beliefs place the burden of infertility solely on women. These beliefs produce the idea that the woman's past ‗indecent‘ lifestyle is held responsible. She is stigmatized"¹⁶². She explains further that, "in many Igbo cultures, especially where the influence of the Christian religion is minimal, the man is free to take another wife while relegating the first wife to the background. She does not partake in any form of inheritance in the family‘s properties whatsoever."¹⁶³

155Henry Umahi, 2012. "Apartheid in Nigeria: Igbo men, women who can't freely marry or be married."

http://yemitom.wordpress.com/ Retrieved on May 04, 2013.

156Henry Umahi, 2012. "Apartheid in Nigeria: Igbo men, women who can't freely marry or be married."

http://yemitom.wordpress.com/ Retrieved on May 04, 2013.

157Henry Umahi, 2012. Apartheid in Nigeria: Igbo men, women who can't freely marry or be married.

http://yemitom.wordpress.com/ Retrieved on May 04, 2013.

158C.A. Obi and V. A. Nwosu, et al, 1985. A hundred years of the Catholic Church In Eastern Nigeria- 1885-1985(Africana-Fep Publishers Limited),

159J. I. Oforchukwu, 2010. A biblical and theological study(analysis) of marriage and divorce among Igbo Catholic Christians(Nigeria). A Master of Theology Thesis, submitted at the South African Theological Seminary, 36.

160 D. J. Smith, 2005. Legacies of Biafra: marriage, 'Home People' and reproduction among the Ibo of Nigeria.

Africa. Journal of the International African Institute. 75:1, 31.

161V. C. Uchendu, 2007. Ezi Na Ulo: the extended family in Igbo civilization. Dialectical Anthropology. 31:1-3, 216.

162Umeora Ouj, 2009. Pseudocyesis in a Rural Southeast Nigerian community. Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Research. 35:4, 660.

163 U. Ouj, 2009. Pseudocyesis in a Rural Southeast Nigerian community. Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Research. 35:4, 663.