At that point I discharged him from the hospital with a caution that some or all of his symptoms would likely persist and possibly even continue to advance for weeks or months after this level had normalized (which it still had not). He was tired and disappointed; I sent him packing back to L.A., for rest and follow- up with my colleagues at the Beverly Hills office.
After a few more rough weeks, his health has finally started to come around.
So what’s the moral in all this? Well for one, thanks to the way we’ve pol- luted our environment, something as healthy as fish is being ruined by the dumping of commercial and industrial waste into the oceans. It’s become such a serious problem that now almost all fish contain some degree of mercury, with the worst being shark, swordfish and mackerel, as well as older and larger fish toward the apex of the food chain. Mercury is stored in large amounts in muscle; this is a medical fact verified by autopsy stud- ies. It’s for these reasons that the larg- er, older fish, with more lean muscle, contain more mercury.
Second, despite what some misin- formed ‘experts’ say, it’s a document- ed scientific fact that mercury toxicity is now more pervasive than ever. The problem is that not enough physi- cians out there are experienced enough to look for it in their patients. Mercury toxicity affects nearly every organ system and can be fatal. So if you’re out there feeling symptoms or suffering health problems that your doctor can’t figure out, I urge you to get your mercury levels checked.
What does this all mean to the body- builder? Well, a lot. Bodybuilders and physique/fitness fanatics are perhaps the highest per capita consumers of canned tuna and sushi in the United States. I personally recall consuming many, many a can during my competi- tive days. Tuna straight out of the can, tuna salad with low-calorie mayonnaise, tuna with low-calorie creamy Italian dressing, and tuna with apple sauce and raisins (yes, I fully realize that the last version was a weird one, but it’s the truth). I always hated that chunk-light tuna version; to me, it always stunk like
cat food and I suspect tasted no better. So I would usually go high-end for the albacore tuna packed in water. The prob- lem is that the albacore version is the highest in mercury among the commer- cially available canned tunas. And though it varies from fish to fish, sushi and sashimi (sushi minus the rice) can harbor large amounts of mercury.
As a result of this shameful, man- made toxic scourge, I don’t eat much tuna these days— maybe about a can or two a month, compared with the old days of a can or two a day! I still eat sushi on occasion; I love the taste and elegance of a big plate of sushi and sashimi adorned with the usual accoutrements. By limiting my con- sumption of these favorites to once or twice per month, I know I am safe from mercury overload.
For the muscle builder, excess mer- cury can create big problems, the most obvious of which is neuromuscular weakness. And mercury interferes with normal metabolic functions and energy pathways. The problem is that once mercury is deposited into your system in excess, it’s not so easy to get out. If you just cut things from the supply side it can take years to work its way out of your system. Using chelating agents, antioxidants and enzyme system cata- lysts, mercury can be liberated in an exponentially shorter time frame.
So if you are a bodybuilder who eats a great deal of fish and you are experi- encing an unexplainable drop in strength coupled with increasing amounts of fatigue, get to your doctor and have your mercury levels checked. There are a number of ways to do this, including blood measurement, urine testing and hair analysis. We utilize all methods in our clinic and, depending on the case, some patients may under- go one or more of these tests. The point is, if you suspect this could possibly be an issue for you, check it out.
You just might be surprised to find out that it’s heavy metal that’s keeping you from moving the heavy metal! ■
Dr. Colker’s book, Extreme Muscle
Enhancement: Bodybuilding’s Most Powerful Techniquesis available by calling 1-800-310-1555 or ordering the book online at www.prosource.net.
By Rick Collins, JD
I read that the guys who sold a fake penis that helps athletes beat doping tests were arrested. Has the War on Steroids really gone this far?
Thanks for giving me a reason to insert a ‘penis’ into a magazine column title! Got your attention? Yup, these guys are facing, ahem, ‘hard’ time for distributing a prosthetic penis over the Internet. The device, called the Whizzinator, was initially thrust into the headlines when former Vikings running back Onterrio Smith was caught with one at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport in 2005. We can only imagine his embarrassment when a TSA inspector asked him, “Sir, is that your penis?”
The plastic device, which came in five different colors to match the skin tones of various ethnicities, came with a heat- ing element and a bag that emitted synthetic urine or recon- stituted urine from freeze-dried crystals. When affixed in place by an athletic supporter, it was intended to fool some- body watching the collection of a urine sample. The two guys who sold the contraption through a company called Puck Technology were indicted in a Pittsburgh federal court on charges including conspiracy to sell ‘drug paraphernalia’ (equipment used to produce, conceal or consume controlled substances) and conspiracy to defraud. They pled guilty.
Uncle Sam had reasons to target Puck Technology, having nothing to do with athletics, and was likely more focused on narcotics and recreational drugs than steroids. While the possibility that professional ball players or Olympic competi- tors might have been using this little nasty to beat anabolic steroid tests may have been one factor in provoking the gov- ernment’s wrath, the allegations in the indictment were unrelated to fooling sports anti-doping authorities. Instead, the concern was fooling the U.S. government agency responsible for overseeing the scientific and technical requirements for federal employee drug testing programs. The government’s position was that the Whizzinator was intended to defraud the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) into thinking some employees were drug-free when they weren’t.
What was the evidence of the Puck owners’ illegal intent regarding their product? Their own website! It reportedly pic- tured a construction worker in front of a urinal winking, while a lab-coated man with a clipboard said, “Next!”
Beneath the cartoon was the caption: “Undetectable! Foolproof! Re-usable!” According to court documents, the site contained testimonials from satisfied customers includ- ing, “I thought I had no chance of landing a new job because I smoke so much. When I saw the Whizzinator it was like a dream come true …” and “I have to pass DOT [U.S. Department of Transportation] drug screens every quarter and your product saved my job countless times…”
Although it’s been argued that the merits of workplace drug testing are outweighed by the privacy invasions, others see testing as a necessary evil to ensure that cer- tain workers aren’t compromised by illegal drug use. Certainly, our families are safer if train engineers and truck drivers aren’t flying high on the job. We don’t need coked-up cops or pill-popping pilots. The Whizzinator also defeated the system by which probation departments monitor drug offenders in order to ensure they don’t relapse into bad habits. “If not for the Whizzinator, I would be serving thirty days in the workhouse,” boasted one testimonial on the site. “Instead I passed my drug test and my stupid probat. [sp] officer had no idea.”
Identifying drug paraphernalia can be challenging for the government because products are often marketed to pretend they were designed for legitimate purposes, even including ‘disclaimers’ that they be used only for legiti- mate purposes. The Whizzinator web testimonials made the government’s case easy. But don’t assume that dis- claimers will always insulate a company from prosecution if it sells items used for drugging— it didn’t work for Tommy Chong of the pot-smoking duo “Cheech & Chong” when he sold bongs online and it may not work for companies selling items used to manufacture under- ground steroids. The feds will consider many factors, including the specific ways the items are displayed and described.
The Puck defendants are currently awaiting sentence, scheduled for a date in April, and the judge might not ‘go soft’ on them for their prosthetic penis scheme. ■
Rick Collins, JD, CSCS [www.rickcollins.com] is the lawyer who mem- bers of the bodybuilding community and nutritional supplement industry turn to when they need legal help or representation. [© Rick Collins, 2009. All rights reserved. For informational purposes only, not to be construed as legal or medical advice.]
www.musculardevelopment.com April 2009