The fascination of the problem

The one certainty when a coaching conversation begins is that the coachee is holding a problem. The problem can be a familiar friend that has lived with them for many years. For staff who have gone through development courses, the problem will have a short-hand description:

g ‘I am unassertive.’

g ‘I am a Thinker not a Feeler.’

g ‘I am an Introvert.’

g ‘I am a Monitor Evaluator.’

g ‘I get people to do things through reward and punishment.’

The obvious approach to a problem is to try and understand the cause.

g Why are you unassertive?

g Why do you believe thinking is the only way to approach issues?

g Why are you introverted?

g Why do you evaluate what everyone says?

g Why do you think rewards and punishments are the only things that motivate performance?

Understand the cause, and the logic argues that the action to be taken will emerge. It’s the approach of organizational analysis. Understand why a product isn’t selling to its intended target group and a successful new strategy can be developed. Understand why a merger failed to deliver and the problem will not recur with a future merger. The fascination with problems is the meat and drink of organizational life. As individuals we are equally fascinated by our own problems. It is why, when individuals are genuinely offered the opportunity to talk about themselves, they will speak with ease about their problem. Building rapport requires that the coach shows that they are comfortable with the other person talking about their problem.

Problem talk is logical, but it is not necessary. What Solution Focused therapists discovered through their interest in finding out what worked best in moving people forward within short timeframes, is that progress comes more quickly if problem talk is limited.¹ Helping the client comes not from understanding the problem better, but from helping them to see the problem

from a different perspective, i.e. one that assumes that they have the resources to deal with the problem. The client often understands the cause of their difficulty very well but nothing changes in their behaviour. Or they are so comfortable talking about the problem that talking about it becomes their raison d ’eˆtre.

In their work, Solution Focused therapists have found that moving the individual from a focus on the problem to the identification of possible solutions begins with avoidance of the question why?

Why?

‘Why’ is an instinctive question. It is the question that fascinates us as a child, both because of our curiosity and because we discover that it is a good way of holding adult attention. It is the question that is used hundreds of times every day in organizations, and for much of the time it is helpful. It is important to understand why a manufacturing process has failed, why a rail accident occurred or why staff resist health and safety procedures. It can be enlightening to understand why people behave in a certain way. However, within a FAST coaching conversation, which is focused on making progress, it is a deflection.

Consider the following problem focused conversation.

Manager: I have noticed you are still staying later than any of your team.

I thought you were going to delegate more.

Coachee: I know I should but I am an unassertive sort of person. I hate asking other people to do things, particularly if it means they will have to stay late.

Manager: Why do you think you are unassertive with your staff, when I have heard you on the phone being very assertive with difficult customers.

Coachee: I don’t know. I think it’s because it matters to me that they like me.

Manager: Why does it matter to you so much?

Coachee: Because my work colleagues are the people I spend most time with. To me they are family.

Manager: I can see you enjoy working with them but why are they so important to you?

Coachee: Because I don’t have a partner right now.

In a few well-meant interventions, the conversation has moved from an observation on a failure to delegate to a discussion of their personal life.

The coachee is now even more aware of why it is difficult for them to be assertive, but no better equipped to deal with it. The manager assumed that if he could help the other person understand the root cause of their lack of assertion, appropriate actions would emerge. This could be true in a long-term psychoanalytic relationship, but this is not what the Manager Coach is offering.

The question ‘why?’, posed with an interrogatory voice, leaves the other person feeling they have to defend or explain themselves. For those people who genuinely don’t know ‘why’, the question forces them to produce an explanation that they hope will be acceptable.

The question ‘why?’, acts as a magnifying glass to problems when what the Manager Coach needs is that the problem shrinks through finding a position from where solutions can emerge. The question also leaves the Manager Coach potentially holding information that they have no ability to deal with. A con-versation that began as an offer to look at delegating better has moved to the point where the coach could, if they continued the ‘why?’ line of questioning, get themselves into a depth that is beyond their ability. Having opened up a line of enquiry the coachee will feel exposed if their manager suddenly switches direction, because they don’t how to handle the underlying cause of their difficulty with assertion.

An alternative questioning route:

Manager: I have noticed you are still staying later than any of your team.

I thought we had agreed that you were going to delegate more.

Coachee: I know I should, but I am an unassertive sort of person. I hate asking people to do things that means they have to stay late.

Manager: I know it’s difficult for you to ask other people to do things, but I also hear you being assertive with some of our difficult customers. How do you do that? (Manager acknowledges the

problem, but draws attention to another tangible – an area where the problem does not exist.)

Coachee: I hadn’t really thought about that, but I suppose it’s because I focus on balancing what is fair to the customer and what is fair to the organization. When I think the balance is wrong, I will stand up for the organization.

Manager: That seems a helpful way of allowing the assertive you to be used. How do you feel when you do that? (Manager draws attention to the fact she is using the skill of assertiveness effectively.)

Coachee: I feel fine when I know I have got a fair outcome and I have not been rude or disrespectful to the other person. That’s important to me, because I hate to be disliked.

Manager: So knowing that you can be assertive providing that you focus on fairness and do it with respect, what would you like to do differently with your team? (Manager offers her back the framework she uses in order to be assertive, as a means of her identifying her own solution.)

Coachee: I would like to agree some ground rules about how we allocate work, so that it is fair to everyone including me.

Manager: What might those ground rules look like? (Manager has helped her to focus on an outcome and shifted her attention away from the problem.)

The staff member still holds a need to be liked by their staff. They are still without a partner. However, the Manager Coach has enabled them to see a link with resources they use in other situations and how application of those resources can be made to their present difficulty. By doing so a new tangible has been brought into their line of sight from which they can find a means of making progress. The manager did not focus on setting a goal of being assertive, he focused on finding a solution to one situation in which they were unassertive.

In doing so he was following the ‘pebble principle’ – of throwing a stone that the other person can use to break the surface of a directly relevant issue, in the belief that through experiencing success the ripples will start to roll out. The next time

they experience a situation that calls on them to assert themselves with staff, they will have available to them a resource they were not previously aware of.

The instinct to ask ‘Why’ is so strong that removing it from a coaching conversation takes practice.

N

‘W

’ E

Start by noticing how many times in a day you ask ‘why?’ and how many times others ask it of you. Notice your own response to the question.

When is it helpful? When does it make you feel defensive?

Step Two

Having noticed how often you ask the question, start to experiment. When the word ‘why’ comes to your lips ask yourself: ‘What is my purpose in asking the question, and is the question ‘‘why?’’ the best means for getting that purpose met?’.