Every pathfinder or explorer of truth has a unique and characteristic nature. The uniqueness of Krishna consisted in microscopically dissecting everything thoroughly like a scientist in the laboratory, rejecting everything, and developing a personality of revolt against existing traditional philosophical systems and approaches.
Now Krishna completed 21 years of age. This stage is a turning point in his ongoing spiritual journey. This is the start of the fourth septennial cycle in his life.
His inner psyche began to undergo drastic and dreadful mutation. This paved the way for an exploration of brave new worlds hitherto unknown. A flag of total revolution was unfurled with only the sky as the limit.
The philosophical training administered and the spiritual edifice specially erected for Krishna from his early childhood had been uprooted and destroyed beyond recognition. The dedications, liturgical services and customs became null and void. The spiritual principles he had been following diligently for years and the Gayatri and Shiva mantras he had been incessantly chanting were decimated. He felt it was no longer possible for him to adjust to that narrow gilded framework by deceiving himself. The traditional gurus and swamis could no longer guide him on any genuine path. No one could give cogent and coherent answers to his innumerable questions and doubts. He had totally lost his faith in them. They all appeared to be living in a fools’ paradise. There was no living truth in them to be emulated. His spiritual interactions had come to grinding halt.
Krishna had been released from the traditional thralldom. He was slowly transforming himself into a pioneer and was struggling to find a new path to follow and a new guiding light within himself.
In this spiritual insurgency he took refuge in the Buddha. Gautama Buddha stood firmly like a Gibraltar Rock as the only ideal. Krishna considered the six principles preached by him as standards for his spiritual revolt:
1. Don’t believe blindly the words of the wise people.
2. Though all others may believe in something, you don’t believe it. Simply because it is written in ancient sacred books don’t accept it as true.
3. Don’t believe in incarnations.
4. Don’t believe anything as authority because a number of people blindly believe it to be so.
5. You shall believe whatever you have decided by your own perception to be the truth and accept that as the only truth.
6. Any principle or philosophical theory preached by any guru should be thoroughly investigated and examined by yourself and you yourself should find out the truth underlying it. Only then can you accept it. You are your own guide, your own guru; you are your own light. Never depend on anyone or any source in the matter of search for Truth.
Gautama Buddha was considered an atheist, a materialist and a logician in the spiritual world. The teachings of Gautama Buddha gave Krishna the required solace.
It is said that ‘each Truth seeker somewhere along the line gets frustrated and would be disillusioned. That is in the nature of things. When the seeker is at the crossroads, the object of seeking can be abandoned, it can go into flames or it can be extinguished; but deep down, inside, a ray of light still remains.’
It is also said that ‘serious spiritual search is a dangerous game: one has to walk on a precipitous path full of thistles and brambles. He can halt temporarily in the middle of the path, but he cannot retrace his steps and go back to the starting point. He is spiritually doomed. That is to say, a serious search is not reversible.’
Who will light the torch which will be a beacon for his ongoing journey? With what gusto would he proceed? Only time would reveal.
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Krishna appeared for the Intermediate Examination in March, 1939. As usual, he failed. He did not study his class texts nor did he regularly attend classes. But he passed the language tests. He got the highest marks in English. On the 7th
of July he wrote a detailed letter to Arundale, the President of the Theosophical Society, informing him of the result of the examination. He received a prompt reply.
He never felt any pricks of conscience for failing his examinations. He thought to himself, ‘a good thing seems to have happened: I am released from monotony.’ Had he applied his mind to his studies he could have easily passed his tests. Strangely, academic studies never appealed to him.
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Pantulu was very much annoyed when Krishna abandoned all his spiritual moorings and sacred texts totally. In the process of revolting against tradition Krishna raised a number of questions for which Pantulu had no answers. For him tradition was inviolable. It might not be questioned.
A number of scholars and ascetics as well as other traditional people regularly visited at the house of Pantulu. Krishna posed to them all sorts of questions. They were overwhelmed by his doubts, questions and logic.
Pantulu, nevertheless, had absolute faith in the intelligence and genius of his grandson. The way in which his grandson had hitherto practiced according to the scriptures, with ardent dedication, concentration and great perseverance, thrilled him. In fact, he was
proud of his grandson. He often said, ‘No one can follow the prescribed principles as rigorously as Kittu does. He proved impossible tasks to be possible. Though he is very stubborn, he is at the same time mentally composed and disciplined. But something went wrong somewhere; the dark forces overpowered him. Though he has become a yoga bhrashta50
, Kittu is trying to become a perfect Theosophist. This is the soothing solace.’ Pantulu reconciled himself thus with his inevitable fate.
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