FOCUS GROUPS

What does Domestic Violence mean?

It is the physical, mental, emotional abuse of a spouse, leading to a low esteem and lack of self worth and confidence

This is when someone takes advantage of another and leaves the other in a low self esteem It is either physical or emotional abuse by a spouse towards another person and makes the other person feel inferior

When a person is made to feel less of a person, downgraded or unworthy This could mean anything that makes the other person has low self-esteem

Domestic Violence is any action that will take or reduce the self-worth of anyone. It is mainly caused by people close to us

No, because If you counsel me and I take to your counsel, who counsels or deals with the man?

There should be a prog for the man in order to change him. It is always difficult to get access to the man.

Yes, by speaking out, by counselling and prayers

Yes, (depending on the type) by counselling, prayer and speaking out Yes, by awareness and counselling

Yes, with God’s help. By awareness, counselling and prayer

Do you think that awareness will reduce it?

Yes, to an extent, if the individuals involved are willing to identify and act on it.

Yes

Yes, to an extent Yes, to an extent Yes, a lot of it

Yes, i think awareness will reduce it. When domestic violence is made known, it can be stopped.

Sometime, we don’t realise we are experiencing it until we know about it. Knowledge will help to reduce it

What ways can successful awareness be raised in this community?

Support groups, seminars, crisis helpline, campaign

Leaflets, drama, seminars, counselling, support groups, talk shows, helpline Holding counselling sessions, seminars, anonymous question boxes

Seminars, private counselling, support groups, crisis helpline Flyers, little handouts, seminars, support group, Christian helpline Campaign, seminars, helpline

Awareness and counselling if couples are willing to come for it, general counselling on domestic violence, anonymous question boxes

Helpline, seminar, prayer, counselling

What provisions do you think the Pentecostal leaders should make for the women in order to reduce domestic violence in the community?

Refuge camps/ homes; prayers

Refuge camps, helpline, prayer support

Seminars, support groups, talk shows, Christian helpline, refuge homes, prayer groups, counselling, campaign.

Provision of Hostel (Refuge camps) for women, trained voluntary staff to pick helpline calls Crisis helpline, support groups, talk shows, refuge camp, prayer support groups, anonymous question boxes

Refuge homes, helpline, counselling

Many of the answers you have here are being provided by Women’s Aid, why then do BME still not visit them?

The European culture is very different from our culture. Divorce is an abomination to the BME tradition.

Their refuge homes are not godly environment and we want our children to grow in a Christian environment. There are smokers etc in their refuge homes.

We need a place where we can pray and be refreshed by God when separated from the men;

while the man is also being counselled and worked on.

A temporary and not a permanent separation may be needed just for the two of them to sort themselves out; and also the provision of a christian refuge where Children can grow in a Christian environment is what is needed

I am not ready to leave my husband but I just want him to stop his acts.

I’m not ready to lose my home

Appendix 5

Interview Questions for the leaders

Please what do you understand by domestic violence?

physical, sexual, psychological, financial and emotional. Also involves bullying, controlling coercive behaviour, honour crimes, killings, name calling

Do you think it exists in the Pentecostal BME community?

YES (6)

What are things you feel can eradicate it among BME Pentecostals?

Public communications in form of Sunday sermons; Church policies etc;

communication between leaders and families.

education, use of conferences, drama, symposium, posters, survivor stories, counselling, developing good communication skills, teach children about love and train elders in counselling; create a helpline for sufferers.

Is it something you would support?

Yes(6)

What provisions do you think the Pentecostal leaders should make for the women in order to reduce domestic violence in the community?

Pre-marital counselling; developing good communication skills, prayers, teaching business and finance skills.

The men’s ministry should discuss domestic violence and educate men on the consequences of domestic violence to their wives

Christian refuge for women and children should also be made available.

Appendix 6

Appendix 7

Appendix 8

Appendix 9: The Wheel Model

Adapting the Duluth Model of Power and Control to the BME Community.

COERCION AND THREATS: This is when the perpetrator makes and/or carries out threats to do something to hurt his partner. He threatens to leave her partner, commit suicide, or report her to welfare; he makes her drop charges and makes her do illegal things (DAIP 2011)

INTIMIDATION: The perpetrator makes his partner afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures. He smashes things and destroys her property; he abuses her pets and displays weapons (DAIP 2011)

EMOTIONAL ABUSE: The perpetrator puts his partner down and makes her feel bad about herself. He calls her names and makes her think she’s crazy. He plays mind games, humiliates her and makes her feel guilty (DAIP 2011)

ISOLATION: The perpetrator controls what his partner does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, and where she goes. He limits her outside involvement and uses jealousy to justify actions (DAIP 2011)

MINIMIZING, DENYING, AND BLAMING: The perpetrator makes light of the abuse to his partner and not taking her concerns about it seriously. He denies the abuse didn’t happen and shifts responsibility for abusive behaviour to her. (DAIP 2011)

USING CHILDREN: The perpetrator makes his partner feel guilty about the children, uses the children to relay messages and threatens to take the children away (DAIP 2011)

ECONOMIC ABUSE: The perpetrator prevents his partner from getting or keeping a job. He makes her ask for money and gives her an allowance. He takes her money and denies her an access or knowledge to family income (DAIP 2011)

MALE PRIVILEGE: The perpetrator treats his partner like a servant; he makes all the big decisions and acts like the “master of the castle”. He is the one to define men’s and women’s roles (DAIP 2011)

Adapting the Equality Wheel

NEGOTIATION AND FAIRNESS: The husband seeks mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict with his wife; he accepts and he’s willing to compromise

NON-THREATENING BEHAVIOR: The husband talks and acts so that the wife feels safe and comfortable expressing herself and doing things

RESPECT: The husband listens to his wife nonjudgmentally; he is emotionally affirming; he is understanding and values her opinions

TRUST AND SUPPORT: The husband supports his wife’s goals in life; he respects her right to her own feelings, friends, activities and opinions

HONESTY AND ACCOUNTABILITY: The husband accepts his responsibility for hmself; he acknowledges past use of violence; he admits being wrong; he communicates openly and truthfully.

RESPONSIBLE PARENTING: The husband shares parental responsibilities with his wife and is a positive non-violent role model for the children

SHARED RESPONSIBILITY TRUST AND SUPPORT: The husband mutually agrees on a fair distribution of work and makes family decisions together with his wife.

ECONOMIC PARTNERSHIP: The husband makes financial decisions together with his wife and makes sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements.