Generating initial codes

After I familiarized myself with the data, codes were created for features of the data that appeared interesting to me. I organised the data into meaningful groups. Furthermore, I approached the data with specific questions in mind that I wished to code around. Some codes applied to short segments of data in this study are shown as an example in Table 5.1 followed by the initial code generation illustrated in Table 5.2.

Table 5.1

Data Extracts, with Codes Applied

Data extract Coded for

I had no feelings. I let them go because I expected that they would send me money. Anyway, they have never contacted me. One of them visited me and asked me for money. I said

“No, I have no money for surviving myself and grandson” and then he said “You can borrow money from the bank for me”. At that time, I got angry with him and shouted at him. We had a quarrel. (participant 291N, interviewed 26/11/2007 )

1. feelings when children left home

2. contact between mother and children who left home

3. a conflict between mother and the child who left home

Because I believe in Buddha’s teachings about

Brahmavihara. There are four sublime attitudes (loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity). Upekkha is equanimity which is to accept praise and blame. So, I don’t get sad and don’t get angry with my children. Before I started following Buddha’s teaching, I tried to commit suicide once. The Dharma saved my life. (participant A6, interviewed 11/05/2008 )

1. Buddhist teachings consideration

2. problem solving related to Buddha’s teachings

Not only for burning wood. I wake up early morning in order to do other things every day- such as preparing food for giving to the monks at the temple, fishing, watering the garden, cooking, cutting grass for making roofs and general hire. I do these activities every day. My husband has paralysis on the left side of his body because he had an accident 10 years ago. He cannot speak as normal people and he cannot walk normally. Although he has paralysis, I am willing to look after him. (She stares at her husband who sits beside her) (participant N1, interviewed 22/12/2007 )

1. daily activities

2. sources of income

3. spouse sickness that may affect daily activity and income

Yes. For me, money is important but if they come back and live with me, they are not abandoning me. Although they don’t have money, they can come and live with me. If they come and live with me without giving me money, it means they don’t abandon me. (participant A1, interviewed 10/05/2008 )

Table 5.1 (continued)

Data Extracts, with Codes Applied

Data extract Coded for

I have no idea. Maybe because I am poor, he has never contacted me. I have no rice field. I only have the old house. See! There are a lot of holes on the roof. In the rainy season, I could not sleep comfortably on here (She points to the bed) because I had to sleep in the corner over there. (She points to the corner of the house). Assuming that I get a lotto win, I am sure that all my children will come back and live with me. (participant 98A, interviewed 19/12/2007 )

1. reasons for not coming back home or contacting parents

Last year, someone asked me to sign a contract. If I signed the contract, I would get 100,000 baht for renting the rice field. At that time, I wanted money in order to treat my husband’s paralysis. I decided to sign the contract without telling anybody. Finally I found that I didn’t get any money from the contract, and the one who asked me, escaped somewhere else. Moreover, I had a debt 100,000 baht instead of getting money. I could not sleep and was worried so much. I decided to tie nylon to the ceiling but suddenly my youngest daughter met me. She stopped me from committing suicide. She was the one who paid off the debt of 100,000 baht by getting married. After paying the debt, I got my rice field back. (participant A4, interviewed 9/01/2008 )

1. economic crisis

2. spouse sickness affected economic status

3. worrying

4. attempting suicide 5. problem solving

I look forward to having more money. If I have a lot of money, I will rebuild this house, donate money to the temples and to the poor, and call my children to come back home and live with me forever. In my deep feelings, I would like to see them every day. Also, I would like to have meals with them and I would like them to take care of me and my wife when we get sick. Living with me is better than living far from my eyesight. (participant 47N, interviewed 8/02/2008 )

1. achievement

I have no feeling that I am meaningful for my children because they have never contacted me. (participant 192A, interviewed 8/05/2008 )

1. being meaningful

It is this house. This house is the only one thing I have. It is just for sleeping and dying. That is all I need from this house. I am satisfied with this thing. (participant 277A, interviewed 17/12/2007 )

1. satisfaction

I have no successes. My children are not good. They have never sent me money. I have no hope. I look forward to death. (participant 270A, interviewed 10/02/2008 )

Table 5.2

Generation of Initial Codes

Initial Codes Self awareness

Positive ways

- Seeing a doctor at the hospital

- Seeing a health care worker at the health care centre - Taking medication under doctor control

Negative ways

- Letting it be because of having no money for transportation in order to see a doctor

- Self medicating/ Alternative medication Effect of spouse

sickness

- Being so tired - Not doing exercise

- Having no time to get income

- Doing housework instead of ill spouse Reasons of children

for leaving home village for the big cities

- Getting good income in other cities - Having no job in the village

- Having no rice fields for them to work in - Rice can only be grown once a year

- Following children peer group from the village to work in Bangkok - Being poor

Parental feelings when children left home

- Sadness

- Feeling like having no children - Concern

- Abandonment - Missing them - Loneliness

- Hoping they have good fortune Ways of contacting

children

- Cell phone - Visit

- Asking neighbours/ relatives

- Putting face over the rice cooker and calling children's name (Individual belief)

Meaning of abandonment

- Neither sending parents money nor contacting parents - Contacting parents without sending parents money - Never sending parents money and leaving burden behind - Only sending money without contact

- Not contacting parents Reasons for feeling

abandoned

- Children having no money

- Children having problems with parents/sisters/siblings and never coming back home

Table 5.2 (continued) Generation of Initial Codes

Initial Codes Perceived good behaviours of children

- Sending parents money

- Contacting parents by phone or visiting - Being grateful

- Never making parents feel disappointed - Obeying parents

- Caring for and worrying about parents Perceived bad

behaviours of children

-Being afraid of being asked for money by parents - Never coming back home or contacting parents

- Sending parents money for grandchildren but not parents - Never worrying about parents

- Always getting drunk - Having conflict with parents Ways to help cope

with worry

- Reminding themselves of Buddha’s teaching "Being patient is the way to reduce the sorrow"

- Doing meditation

- Walking to the forest/ rice field - “Letting it be” until it disappears

- Going out from home and talking to friends about other things - Joining in activities with friends/ community

- Crying alone Reasons for

attempting suicide

- Not receiving money from children - Having conflict with children - Being so sad because of children - Having a huge debt

Kinds of hopelessness

- Having children who are impossible to live with - Having no land to grow rice

- Being poor

- Having nothing for children

- Having children who don’t want to come back home - “Being left to die as a pariah dog” by children - Living the rest of life without others’ concern