In seeking to understand students’ optimism in the face of past negative experiences, I looked for turning point stories, as seen by Rymes (2001) and others in their studies of high school dropouts returning to school. I wondered if “the abandonment of a rejected self” (Rymes, 2001, p. 74) would be employed by participants as part of the way they talked about their
hopefulness for the future in light of past challenges. I found that this was true for some students, as they attributed their optimism to their new selves and their new positions as college students at Pathways. Interestingly however, as will be discussed below, in other cases students’ narratives emphasized continuity in identity rather than a rejected self.
For a few of the students in this study turning point stories were central to the way they talked about leaving and returning to school, and in some cases students were explicit about the existence of a former self: “After break, like my old self kicked in. I was like, it was so hard for me, like motivating myself” (CG, 8/14/08). Cleveland was able to pinpoint one turning point in his life when he began to gain more confidence and, in his words, stopped “destroying myself emotionally, ripping myself apart” (Interview, 2/13/09). He described the incident, which happened several months before he entered Pathways, this way:
I think the one moment that I really know I changed a lot was when I heard a song called Just Fine by Mary J. Blige. And I would listen to it all night, sit next to the radio, go on radio station after radio station and when Just Fine came on I was so happy because it’s such an inspirational song. And it was a lot of things
156 that I knew I needed to stop worrying about, and you know life could be worse.
A lot worse and um, I’ve been through a lot worse, and at that point I was better off than I was before so. I think that was one of the biggest things because it made me realize what I had and what I didn’t have wasn’t so important. (Interview, 2/13/09)
Unlike the students in Rymes’ study, Cleveland was not abandoning a self who was involved in violence or misbehavior. Instead, his rejected self was one who engaged in destructive and anxious thoughts. The fact that he had changed his behavior was a source of hope for him looking forward.
In Trinidad’s turning point story, the self he abandoned was one with few plans or goals for the future:
Basically I have goals that I’m working towards, and before I just lived day to day, whatever. Now I actually know exactly what I want to do, and I’m not sure exactly how I want to do it, but I pretty much have how I’m going to do it. (Interview, 3/4/09)
Just like the students in Rymes’ study, Trinidad uses the word “now” to differentiate his new self from his old self. For Trinidad, Pathways played the central role in the development of this new goal-oriented self.
[The counseling teacher] was almost like a mentor. He gave us different ideas, put different things in our heads to you know, make us think about what we actually want to do with our lives and basically between that and the [other] counseling class I found exactly what career I wanted to pursue. Before it was just like, I just want to do computers. But they asked me, what do you want to do? Now I found exactly what I want to do and it helped me get into a computer field so I can get some experience. (Interview, 3/4/09)
Here two Pathways courses and one particularly influential teacher are instrumental in the development of his goals. His old self who “just wanted to do computers” is portrayed as naïve and unprepared in light of his new self who is more certain about his career (as a network
engineer), is gaining experience in the field with an internship, and has a stronger sense of how to reach his goals.
157 Similarly, Bart saw his admission to the program as a major turning point in his life. In our final interview, I asked each participant to write down a few incidents in their lives that have made them the person they are today. Bart told me:
The second thing that I wrote down was being accepted into the [Pathways] program because I feel that was a huge step in my life. I really wouldn’t, I don’t think I would be doing anything in my life if I wouldn’t have been accepted to this program. So it like kind of changed the whole direction of where I was headed. So I wrote that because it was a huge turning point in my life because I was like going completely in the wrong direction and it kind of brought me back. (Interview, 4/22/09)
Here Bart uses the metaphor of the wrong direction to describe the actions of his old self and he attributes his success to his participation in the program.
Interestingly, these turning point stories were told in tandem with participants’ narratives of exceptionalism (see Chapter Three) in which they portrayed themselves as smart, willing to learn, and unlike their peers who left school for traditional reasons. For example, in the excerpt from Bart’s story, he finishes his thought with the word “back,” indicating that his transformation into a person headed in the right direction is actually a reversion to his natural state. Even as he takes responsibility for his behavior, Bart’s use of “back” in this way indicates that this incident is part of his larger narrative of exceptionalism in which he portrays himself as different from the peers who pressured him to cut school.
In this way narratives of Pathways youth were just as likely to reflect continuity in identity as a turning point, yet in both types of narratives students expressed optimism for the future. It was within the context of a stable and exceptional identity as intelligent or as a learner that some participants talked about their growth and development. Lady’s description of her evolving relationship with her older sister (a college graduate) illustrates that dualism:
My role model is my sister. And really it’s so funny because growing up I hated her. I hated, not her but her accomplishments because I never ever thought that I’d be here, ever in my life, walking on anybody’s college campus, ever. I mean I’ve always been smart, you know I got the brains to do it, but I never really thought that I’d go to college. (CG, 4/1/09)
158 So while Lady grew up resenting her sister – a fact that has changed now that she is enrolled in Pathways – her identity as a person smart enough to succeed was never in question. Now, as she sees her sister as a role model, one who has finished college, her own ability to finish college is more certain.
Likewise, Brittany’s story complicated the traditional turning point narrative because she viewed her departure from school as a major aberration:
Yeah, just I never expected to have to be in this program. Or just any program. I mean I expected that I would graduate with the rest of my peers at [my high school]. That you know, I’d be able to have like handled all the work that was thrown at me. (Interview, 8/11/08)
King and Raspin (2004) write about “lost possible selves” which are former dreams of the future that have been abandoned because of changes in life circumstances. For Brittany, Pathways offered her an opportunity to regain a possible self that was lost when she left high school. Of Pathways and the opportunity it gave her to earn college credits and catch up with her peers, she said: “But just to know that I’m not behind. That’s the biggest thing for me” (Interview, 4/4/09).
In their stories about past mistakes, transgressions were seen as anomalies, lost possible selves were regained, and in some cases past selves were rejected because of Pathways’
influence. In all cases, participants saw themselves as poised for a hopeful future because their exceptional identity (with their new, improved, or regained self) was capable of achievement and success.
Meritocracy
As I listened to students talk about their optimism for the future and their confidence in their ability to succeed, I saw an implicit endorsement of the master narrative of the American Dream, or what some call the myth of meritocracy. According to Hoschchild (1995), the American Dream narrative is based on the belief that each individual in the United States has “reasonable anticipation of success” and that success comes through hard work, or “actions under
159 one’s individual control” (p. 27). McNamee and Miller (2004) suggest that within this narrative success is attributed to some combination of an individual’s hard work, innate ability, attitude, and moral character. The myth of meritocracy has been linked to the rise of “color-blind racism” in the latter half of the twentieth century and offers a rationalization for inequities by drawing the focus away from systems and structures of racial and economic oppression (Akom, 2008;
Bonilla-Silva, 2001). Within the narrative of the American Dream, inheritance, unearned social and cultural capital, and luck are minimized or ignored.
Empirical studies demonstrate that Americans, regardless of race or class,
overwhelmingly report their faith in the American Dream (e.g., Hochschild, 1995; Longoria, 2009), and research has shown this narrative’s prominence in the media (Jefferies, 2009) and in schools (McGinnis, 2009). Likewise, I saw evidence in the data that Pathways students held fast to the notion that anyone can achieve if he or she displays enough motivation and determination. Participants’ narratives of exceptionalism, hard work, self-reliance, and optimism revealed their belief that hard work, attitude, moral character, and ability were essential to (and perhaps guaranteed their) success.
Given my own subjectivities – which include my commitments to critical theory – my inclination was to view these data with dismay as I worried that participants were not aware of larger issues of race, class, and various other institutional barriers to equity in the United States. This final section of this chapter explores the ways in which participants talked about meritocracy and my own evolving understanding of their perspectives on success, failure, and oppression.
Everybody Seems to Have a Good Opportunity to Get What They Want
Participants often indicated their belief that anyone with a good work ethic had a “reasonable anticipation of success” (Hochschild, 1995). In a conversation group discussion about whether or not obstacles are insurmountable, Mercedes refuted another student’s claim that some people get “trapped” by their circumstances:
160 I don’t know about that. I mean some people are trapped because you have to
have the will and the determination to not be trapped… Either you stay stuck or you do something to not be stuck and if you don’t do anything and it’s kind of, my way I feel like if you’re complaining about being stuck then do something about it. (CG, 10/22/08)
Brittany agreed that internal characteristics like motivation and drive were more important than external forces: “You have control over your destiny, you know. Everybody’s born into
circumstances, but you just have to persevere” (CG, 10/22/08). In these commentaries Mercedes and Brittany acknowledge that difficult “circumstances” exist but express their belief that they should not be a source of complaint or an excuse for negative outcomes.
Dominant cultural narratives, akin to the Horatio Alger tales, served as a source of motivation and an explanation for students’ belief that everyone has the opportunity to succeed through hard work. In the second conversation group, I asked the participants to take pictures of things in their life that would show me who they are. Talia included a photograph of a poster of the rapper Jay-Z. When asked why, she explained:
Because Jay-Z came from nothing to something. He was raised in the streets of Brooklyn, whatever he was hustling and all that, but he still made it to the top of his game, of his field, of his chosen craft. And you know, everybody respects him for that and that’s where I want to be in my future so that’s why I took this picture of Jay-Z. (CG, 9/15/08)
Likewise, other participants referenced similar celebrity success stories. Brittany stated: The odds can be stacked against a person, but just because there are more odds, that doesn’t mean they won’t achieve or they won’t get to that level they want to get to. They’ll just have to work that much harder…. It’s your drive at the end of the day. It really is. Because you can achieve, it’s like a rags to riches story. Not everybody starts off at the top. Some people have had to work their way up. And just like certain moguls, like P. Diddy and everything like that. (Interview, 4/4/09)
These cultural narratives about success appear to be an important part of the ways in which participants think optimistically about their own futures. So despite what they identify as “obstacles” or “odds,” they draw on these stories as evidence that they will achieve their hoped- for selves. As Bart explained:
161 I don’t think that nothing can stop you, like it depends how determined you are
and like how outgoing you are. Because it don’t really matter how poor you are because most of the people that actually are successful now they probably came from somewhere poor. (Interview, 4/22/09)
Here, Bart highlights poverty as a particular obstacle to be surmounted, but asserts that most successful people have overcome that obstacle via their determination. Here his reference to “most of the people that are successful now” is similar to Brittany’s comment above about “everyone” being born into circumstances. The idea that hardships are widespread gave credence to the notion that success is possible in the face of them.
Participants’ also talked about the importance of their own internal and mental status in ensuring future success. For example, when I asked Cleveland to imagine a scenario in which he might not achieve his hopes he said, “pretty much just slacking off” (Interview, 2/13/09).
Likewise, Talia imagined that a loss of her drive or motivation could prevent her from graduating: “I think the greatest obstacle would be if I give up” (Interview, 3/27/09). Many participants stated that their focus and determination were of primary importance. For example, Bart talked about needing moral support to maintain his motivation:
You just have to have people like encouraging you like to keep your spirits and stuff, that way you won’t just regress because you’re depressed and stuff. So, but, like I don’t really need like financial support. I mean you might need it in certain, like depending on what your dream is, but I don’t think it’s necessary for all dreams. (Interview, 2/20/09)
Here Bart suggests that while financial resources might be helpful in some cases, moral support and encouragement is most essential. These comments contribute to students’ overall discourse about internal characteristics like motivation, drive, and determination and are closely related the complex ways in which students talked about self-reliance.
As discussed in Chapters Three and Four, participants frequently framed their own identities in relationship to their peers – “traditional” dropouts, “typical” high school students, and those who left Pathways. In this talk about others, motivation was also frequently discussed as the defining characteristic separating those who are successful and those who are not. This
162 was true when participants talked about individuals they knew and when talking more abstractly about why some people fail and others succeed. I asked Bart to surmise why he thought some of his cohort-mates left Pathways before completing their foundation term.
I was trying to encourage them, but they wasn’t really sure of themselves, so I thought that they wasn’t going to make it, and plus they was like kind of getting behind so, I would feel that they don’t make it. Because it’s not because they can’t, but because they haven’t found the motivation that drives them, like to work extra hard to take that extra step. (Interview, 7/15/08)
Here Bart dispels the notion of innate ability (“it’s not because they can’t”), a third component of the meritocratic ideal according to McNamee and Miller (2004). Instead he emphasizes that the issues are hard work and motivation. Interestingly, this tendency to downplay innate ability was also evident in the programmatic discourses about everyone having the potential to succeed (see Chapter Four). It was only in participants’ narratives of exceptionalism (e.g., “I was always talented”) that innate ability was highlighted consistently.
In the final conversation group, I asked participants to respond to a fictional scenario in which an adolescent drops out of school. In her analysis, Lady stated: “You could say it was his mother’s fault, evidently she was not making sure that at that age he was doing his work” (CG, 4/29/09). However, Trinidad rejected this idea that parents are responsible for their children’s behavior. He drew on his own experience when he argued, “Not even that, my mom used to ask me every day, ‘You do your homework?’” He and Dana suggested that only the adolescent himself was to blame for his decision to leave school. External factors like poverty, school environments, neighborhood conditions were often conspicuously absent in conversations about motivation, drive, and hard work. Later in the conversation Cleveland finally suggested:
I think the only other place it could fall is on the school system if they didn’t do anything right. The school, the parents, and the child themselves. It could be all three, it could be two, it could be one. (CG, 4/29/09)
This excerpt is representative of the ways in which participants frequently talked about success in school, presenting critiques of institutions and systems as an afterthought. As Brittany explained,
163 schools play an important role in student success, but in her understanding they were not the only factor:
I don’t necessarily believe like, okay, you change the school system, like it would