Group C

Between these two are Group C students, not quite so definable. Here I have included Sky and Linda, students who fluctuated between positive and negative feelings to such a degree that I had no sense of which predominated, and Gao, Gemma and Thomas, whose response changed considerably between interviews (see Table 5.4)

Sky clearly struggled with course work, feeling “so worried” about assignments handed in and anxious about how to begin the next ones with no obvious sources of enlightenment, eventually failing one course. Positive feelings for her, though, did not seem entirely dependent on a sense of competence or good results as they did for Saul. In her first interview she had talked of her experience of university in China saying it had not been “my dream”: “not much communication and they can’t connect, but here good, but I still can’t connection.” It was her inhibitions which barred her from “connecting,” but she was nevertheless excited at being in the presence of that possibility. “I love it!” she said (2 & 3). She also maintained an active extracurricular life, doing voluntary work, sport and a part-time job.

Of those who changed group between interviews, for Gemma and Thomas it was in a negative direction, chastened when semester-end demands undermined earlier confidence. Gemma’s previous experiences studying business in a New Zealand polytechnic had been positive: she had successfully engaged in interactive learning involving both teachers and local students; she had built a social network that included locals; she had had a range of “overseas experiences” (1) which in some sense validated the decision to come, such as homestay, flatting and part-time jobs. In all the spheres

which seemed seminal to these students’ sense of identity as students in New Zealand, she had already proved herself. She arrived at the university as someone with a secure identity who assumed she would readily adjust to the nuances of difference that the university might present.

Table 5.4 Group C students

Name Interview

Group

Indications of confusion, lack of clear plan, struggle with

task Indications of sense of progress Overall tone of the interview Gao 2 C

Learning centre, they told me some study method, but I suppose that is really helpful, but I can’t try to do it or practise it because no have time.

Bible group: a new thinking method, and also new knowledge. … I think it’s quite important for my daily life.

Advice from previous teacher: after that I felt better.

Sombre tone, but perhaps light at the end of tunnel; good results, strategies to restore study/life balance

3 A

But I still worry about exam, because first time to take exam at Rutherford. You know, nervous. Even though my tutors told me, ‘Ah, you will be fine.’

100% it’s good.

I’m satisfied with my study in this semester.

Very positive. Learning better, knowing what to study

Gemma

2 A

just like two weeks before the break, and I got so many assignments to you know hand it in, so … stress.

With my studies I think I did pretty good, and I got two As so far. But I will see. It’s not as hard as I thought. I thought Rutherford would be quite hard, but it’s similar standard from the school I was in before.

Some frustrations but success as challenges are met

3 C

I know the lecturers all have office hour but it’s just like so many things and I didn’t know what to ask. I knew that I need to go through it myself first and then, so yeah, that was just awful.

It wasn’t too bad, because … you mean my results? I got like three B+ and one B-. I mean, that wasn’t so great, though. Because I was expecting I would get one A at least.

Success, but huge stress and no fun.

Linda

2 B

The very sad event, maybe I think I have to do a lot of work on E101. So I just, I think I give my too much pressure to myself, I want to study hard on that part.

I’m quite happy study at Rutherford, as long as I have here. The teacher was very good. I learn what I will used in the future, I think that is essential for my life, I am very happy study at Rutherford.

Accepts role as active learner, but clear pathways not identified

3 B

Inaudible recording Inaudible recording Accepts role as active learner, but clear pathways not identified

Sky

2 B

Because I faced a first assignment, my J201. I’m not that clear about what I’m going to write for the topic, but the teacher, the tutor, yeah, they just maybe spend just two or three minute to talk about the assignment, and also I’m afraid to ask.

I remember the day I can nearly totally understand what the tutor talk about. … Because the tutor talk about I have learned that before in China.

Maybe it’s really good as I think before I came to Rutherford because I imagine a lot. Very good.

Struggling but excited to be in the presence of learning practices which she aspired to but was excluded from by her timidity

3 B

Yes. I also felt my English so poor and writing. I need to do more work.

It’s my fault.

I think I learn a lot in New Zealand than in China, because in here I learn how to learn, I learn how to thinking.

Self-blaming for not working hard enough, enthusiastic about learning in new way.

Thomas A

And, you know, in the lecture almost time I didn’t know the lecturer’s speaking, yeah, so I just write a notes.

my the biggest wish is the enter the Rutherford University, so I think after the enter Rutherford University, anything is good. No bad. Satisfied, on trajectory, normal difficulty 3 B

I think most of time spent on the assignment, so last semester we prepared a final exam spent about one week, one week. I think not prepared enough.

[Long pause] Yeah. I think learn it well, yeah.

Chastened by mediocre results. Way forward planned: translating materials

Although she was shocked by the huge classes and time pressure she found, she maintained a high sense of personal agency through the first part of the semester, realising that “here you have to chasing the tutor, you can’t, you know, just sitting back” (1). She gave accounts of “chasing the tutor” in order to suggest changes in course practices (posting lecture notes on the WebCT), dispute what she felt was unfair marking and ask about course processes. This served her well as we shall see in 6.4.3.

In the third interview, she continued to present herself some of the time as a capable student, the exercise of whose capability was impeded by factors potentially subject to her own influence (like time management), and to applaud herself for what she did manage to achieve in spite of disappointments (at not getting an A, for example):

The final exam worth 75% and I did really well in that one because the exam was really hard, and also we got to read a whole book, it’s about that thick, and I just didn’t know what to focus on, like, it’s a lot of things to read and a lot of things to remember, so it’s hard.

By now, though, this agency was under threat as the task of assignment and exam preparation overwhelmed: “I didn’t know where to go to get help, like I know the lecturers all have office hour but it’s just like so many things and I didn’t know what to ask.” She was “struggling … to get well organised for all my papers,” “just totally stressed” and finding the situation “just awful.” In the social sphere, too, progress had been slow (5.6.5.1), and she exuded an air of very much reduced confidence.

On the other hand, Gao’s dissatisfaction with the first few weeks had been so severe (5.6.1.2.1) that he had considered withdrawing. He had sought advice from one of his former English teachers who had suggested he see out the semester. Later, his feelings changed: “I enjoyed the second part of the semester. I changed my thinking” (3). He began to understand what was required of him, earn very high grades, and restore balance to his life with increased extracurricular activity. His move from a marginalised position is perhaps most manifest in his response to my question as to whether there was anything New Zealand teachers should do to assist international students. While in the previous interview he had suggested slowing down their speech, now he said, “I don’t think so, because we are equal like Kiwi students and international students are equal. Also the lecturer treat us equally, so I think it’s good” (3). See also Vignette 8.