Group Session B

Changing the cycle of events in the second session enriched this reflexive and collaborative environment. A more formal concert atmosphere was achieved by providing an accompanist and allowing pupils to perform two pieces consecutively without the interruption of subsequent peer feedback. With nine of the ten participants attending this session, discussion time was limited. In order to manage time effectively, a predetermined list of questions was used to frame the discursive element that followed all performances after the accompanist had departed. This discussion attempted to consider:

• if pupils were feeling at ease on stage

• if pupils were engaging pre-performance thinking • what pupils were thinking during the act of performing

As pupils spoke about the performance issues their collective voice started and remained in a positive tone. Once again, in many instances pupils were so eager to contribute that they spoke at the same time, making it difficult to follow the flow of the discussion and distinguish what was being said, and by whom. This frenzy resulted in some issues being left unacknowledged or developed, but I took pains when transcribing to log as many issues as I could discern.

The majority of pupils spoke in a way that suggested they had felt at ease while performing in this session. Only U3 and W3 claimed otherwise, though they did not give reasons for their unease. Others implied that their repose stemmed from perceptions formed by past experiences. Though S2 and T2 dominated the discussion, many others nodded their heads in agreement as they spoke. Pupils commented that when on stage they felt empowered to:

• willingly display achievements.

Z5 – …you’ve practised the piece…you know it, then you can just say, ‘I’ve done the work’.

• enjoy the act of performing.

T2 – Because, I like performing. S2 – yah, me too.

• freely express their own ideas and interpretations

T2 – You can do whatever you want. S2 – You can make it your own piece.

• share their performance with others.

T2 – …I can show people what I can do.

Though there seemed to be a consensus among the group that preparedness stems from practice that achieves physical security, pupils also discussed issues impacting their pre- performance mental state that could also undermine their sense of security. This discussion was started when the narrative breeched the topic of ‘being the first or last’

Some pupils expressed their preferred positioning within the group concert line-up, while others shared experiences of self-inflicted mental distractions, such as comparing themselves to their peers when they should have been focusing on their own approaching performance. Pupils then began sharing strategies that they were aware of using to avoid distractions, or ones to achieve a healthy pre-performance state of mind. For example, T2 suggested, ‘clear your mind and think of the speed and all the stuff you’re going to do’, while Z5 suggested, ‘calm down, [and] take a deep breath’. S2 added to ‘think positive thoughts, [or] think of something funny and smile, and then you would feel better’. Both S2 and W3 stated that for them it was best to ‘just look away’ from whoever was in the audience and ‘don’t look’ to see who is there. T2 suggested ‘pretending’ as a mental strategy. Many heads nodded in agreement as she suggested pretending ‘you are playing at home in front of nobody…instead of thinking, oh my god there is a huge audience. Just think, there is no one here except my Mom’. Others suggested pretending that there was no audience at all, or that the only people in the audience were those who did not make them nervous.

The pupils also seemed aware that their performances were not only impacted by their attempt to collaborate with the accompanist, but also by their internal thought processes while performing. For example, Z5 shared that she often has a ‘conversation’ with herself, ‘…I am not talking to myself, I am thinking to myself’. She elaborated by sharing an example of her experience of thinking when performing from memory.

Z5 – I’ve actually noticed in like the last Feis that I’ve done, if you are thinking, ‘I don’t know my piece, I’m going to go wrong’, then you actually do go wrong. But then if you think, ‘I know this part of the piece’, you don’t go wrong.

T2 followed Z5’s example with saying that she too heard her own thinking, but explained that, ‘like, you play your best if you go like, “T2 the Great!”’

While these seemed to be personal strategies for warding off self-doubt and any form of negative thinking, they also seem to indicate pupils’ awareness of agency. As the topic of performance thinking continued, T2, S2, and Z5 joined to discuss what they called the performance ‘bubble’, a space where they mentally placed themselves in order to

stay focused as they performed. Although each voice is reported consecutively below, all three pupils were actually talking in very quick succession or even at the same time.

T2 – Your ‘bubble’. S2 – You float away…

T2 – You create your own ‘bubble’.

Z5 – Your ‘bubble’, like you just completely ignore them. That’s what happened to me in Feis Ceoil…you just focus on your piece.

S2 – …and get lost with the music.

Metaphor was used again as T2 brought up the idea of the performer as a ‘painter’. The group agreed with T2 that this metaphor adequately explained the performing process. T2 and S2 elaborated this further by saying that the music was like a blank canvas which they, as performers, could ‘splash colour on’, and engage with in order to ‘paint a picture’. While the tools for this include issues already discussed, such as dynamics, vibrato, and phrasing, Z5 interjected that, when seated in the performer’s chair, these are not necessarily in the foreground of her thinking. Z5 described that she strives to expand her thinking more broadly, to think ‘more of the performance … than of [specific] technique’.

When pupils observed a peer perform repertoire that they themselves were studying, their comments suggested that they were aware of participating more discreetly. S2 implied that she generally listened, observed, and analysed from the perspective of specialised knowledge by saying, ‘you don’t pay attention to the actual notes of the piece, because you know the notes of the piece. You pay attention to like… do they do the accent?’. However, a personal knowledge of the repertoire did not seem to be required, or used to bias their critique. There seemed to be openness to the uniqueness and interpretation of others.

T2 – Or, what do they do differently than you. Like you could have 50 million children playing the same like, two notes, but every single person would play the same two notes differently.

Like Session A, this second session had been an opportunity for pupils to experience the stage and test out their work, and also to join as a collective in order to reflect and discuss performance issues from different perspectives. The pupils managed to sustain a dynamic and productive atmosphere that held its own momentum for the duration of the session, though the youngest pupil, Qp, never contributed verbally. Their acceptance that my role had changed to be one of questioner and collaborator fed a synergy within the group that seemed to establish a secure environment for pupils to freely explore and express their thoughts.