The Interaction

Freud’s structural theory divides the psyche into the id, the ego, and the super-ego. The id is the source of psychological energy derived from instinctual needs and drives. The superego is the internalization of the conscious extenuated by rules, conflict, morals, guilt, etc. The ego develops slowly and gradually, being concerned with mediating between the urgings of the id and the realities of the external world; it thus operates on the reality principle. Essentially, id represents the cognition- emotion part of the brain in the cortex and the limbic system, superego represents the control part of the brain in the prefrontal cortex that control cognition and emotion, and ego represents the process of the interaction between the cognition-emotion part (id) and the control part (superego). Freud’s psychoanalysis deals with the psyche interactions among id, superego, and ego.

The three branch way for human social interactions consists of the yin (collective), the yang (individualistic), and the harmonious social lives (interactions). The collective social life represents collective wellbeing for the feminine task of upbringing of offspring. The individualistic social life represents individualistic achievement for the masculine task of attracting female mate. The harmonious social life that was derived from the unique human evolution to minimize conflicts in social interactions represents harmonious cooperation. The human society with the harmonious social life is a highly efficient low- conflict small-group society. All people have the three social lives in different proportions.

4.1. The Interaction of the Social Lives

4.1.1. The Interaction of Social Lives in an Individual

An exclusive social lifer lives in an exclusive one social life with deliberate exclusion of other social lives. An exclusive social lifer requires maintaining allowed pleasure response, forbidden pleasure response, forbidden sins, allowed sins, and acceptable stress responses at the same time as follows.

Exclusive Social Lifer Exclusive Collective Social Lifer Exclusive Individualistic Social Lifer Exclusive Harmonious Social Lifer allowed pleasure response from bond expressive systemization domination hyper bonding detection forbidden pleasure response from systemization domination hyper bonding detection bond expressive hyper bonding detection bond expressive systemization domination forbidden stressors (sins) disconnection (sin) injustice (sin) disorganization (sin) repression (sin) estrangement (sin) enlargement (sin) stress responses from

forbidden stressors (sins) despair paranoid anxiety unfulfillment alienation allowed stressors (sins) disorganization (sin)

repression (sin) estrangement (sin) enlargement (sin) disconnection (sin) injustice (sin) estrangement (sin) enlargement (sin) disconnection (sin) injustice (sin) disorganization (sin) repression (sin) acceptable stress responses anxiety unfulfillment alienation despair paranoid alienation despair paranoid anxiety unfulfillment

A typical collective social lifer is Confucius. Confucius obtained happiness from collective wellbeing in terms of bond and expressive for society and family. He did not obtain happiness from individualistic achievement in terms of systemization and domination, and from harmonious cooperation in terms of hyper bonding and detection. He strongly opposed disloyalty in terms of disconnection and injustice stressors, and avoided disconnection and injustice sins. Disconnection and injustice sins cause the guilt as despair and paranoid stress responses. Disconnection and injustice stressors cause despair and paranoid stress response. He allowed disorganization by disliking precise and systematic legal laws to maintain morality, allowed repression against individual prominence, allowed external appropriate appearance to hide inner estrangement, and allowed the formation of a large social group. He accepted the stress responses of anxiety from imprecise morality without precise and systematic legal laws, unfulfillment from the repression of individual prominence, alienation from inner estrangement and in a large social group. The pleasure response from bond and expressive overcomes the stress responses of anxiety, unfulfillment, and alienation. The exclusive collective social life is the devotional life for a social group.

A typical exclusive individualistic social lifer is Plato. Plato obtained happiness from individualistic achievement in terms of systemization and domination for highly systematic mathematical and philosophical systems and endless search for the best perfect system. He did not obtain happiness from collective wellbeing in terms of bond and expressive, and from harmonious cooperation in terms of hyper bonding and detection. He strongly opposed disorganization and repression stressors, and avoided disorganization and repression sins. He allowed disloyalty in terms of disconnection as that his teacher, Socrates, and some of his followers were put to death for disloyalty. He allowed injustice by believing in the hierarchy based on individualistic achievement,

allowed the endless and systematic search for the best at the expense of inner harmony, and allowed the formation of a large social group. He accepted the stress responses of despair from disconnection, paranoid from injustice, alienation from inner estrangement and from a large social group. The pleasure response from systemization and domination overcomes the stress responses of despair, paranoid, and alienation. The exclusive individualistic social life is the ascetic life to seek perfection endlessly.

A typical exclusive harmonious social lifer is Buddha. He obtained his happiness from harmonious cooperation in terms of hyper bonding and detection for compassion to all living organism and detecting impermanence and imperfection. He did not obtain his happiness from collective wellbeing in terms of bond and expressive, and from individualistic achievement in terms of systemization and domination. He gave up the life of the individualistic achievement of prince, and became a lowly monk. He lived in a harmonious life in a small harmonious social group as monastery. He strongly opposed estrangement and enlargement stressors, and avoided estrangement and enlargement sins. He allowed disloyalty in terms of disconnection to gods by marginalizing gods, allowed injustice by living outside of man society, allowed imperfection because to him, everything is impermanent and imperfect, allowed repression of individualistic achievement. He accepted the stress responses of despair from disconnection, paranoid from living outside of main society, anxiety from imperfection, and unfulfillment from the absence of individualistic achievement. He viewed perfection from systemization as illusion, considered domination as greed, and regarded the extinction (repression) of the drive for domination and perfection as nirvana. The happiness from hyper bonding and detection overcomes the stress responses of despair, paranoid, anxiety, and unfulfillment. The exclusive harmonious social life is the harmonious life in a small social group.

An exclusive collective social lifer lives a devotional life for a social group, but avoids an ascetic life to seek perfection endlessly and a harmonious life in a small social group. An exclusive individualistic social lifer lives in an ascetic life to seek perfection endlessly, but stays away from a devotional life for a social group and a harmonious life in a small social group. An exclusive harmonious social lifer lives in a harmonious life in a small social group, but shuns a devotional life for a social group and an ascetic life to seek perfection endlessly.

In the postmodern society, a person likely assumes multiple roles for all three social lives, and cannot simply shun any one of social lives. Therefore, a person lives in a devotional life for the family, an ascetic life to seek perfection endlessly at work, and a harmonious life in a religious small group and privately in meditation. The person lives in different social lives for different social situations. Without focusing in one social life, the person is simply an ordinary good person without reaching the level of sainthood as Confucius, Plato, and Buddha.

4.1.2. The Interaction of Social Lives among Individuals

The most important interaction among individuals is love that keeps individuals close together. Love can be divided into the mutual sexual attraction, the mutual expressive bond, and the unconditional mutual bond, relating to the individualistic social life, collective social life, and the harmonious social life, respectively. The mutual sexual attraction is for the competition of sexual reproduction. In the competition of sexual reproduction, a person is attracted to the best available mate with whom the best and the

most children can be produced. Typically, the best available female mate is healthy, fertile, and young, while the best available male mate is a healthy, fertile, and good provider. The mutual sexual attraction allows the partners to be close together as the best possible pair for reproduction. Since the mutual sexual attraction involves the competition for the best available mate, domination-repression in the individualistic social life is an important factor.

The mutual expressive bond is for the expressive in a social group. The core of the mutual expressive bond is the mother-child bond. Since all adults and older siblings have expressive responsibilities in a social group, the mutual expressive bond is extended to all members in a social group. The mutual expressive bond keeps people close together as the best way for expressive to survive as a social group. The mutual expressive bond does not contain the mutual sexual attraction. Unlike the mutual sexual attraction, the mutual expressive bond does not involve competition where domination- repression is an important factor. The mutual expressive bond decreases significantly, when a child becomes an independent adult, so the mutual expressive bond is dependent on a person in a specific form. The mutual sexual attraction and the mutual expressive bond are the basic loves to keep people close together for reproduction and survival.

Relating to the harmonious social life, the unconditional mutual bond is unique in human. It comes from hyper bonding in the harmonious social life. For hyper bonding, a person can be a friend for no particular purpose, such as reproduction and expressive, and the mutual bond is unconditional. The unconditional mutual bond keeps people close together for no particular purpose. Unlike the mutual sexual attraction, the unconditional mutual bond of a committed couple does not have the competition for the best available mate. Unlike the mutual expressive bond, the unconditional mutual bond of a committed couple is not dependent on a person in a specific form. Typically, the unconditional mutual bond is formed in a small social group where unrelated people form strong bond automatically and unconditionally. A small social group can be a religious small group with a strong faith and a military small unit in combat.

An additional love is the mutual ambiguous bond for close friendship. Friendship is the ambiguous all-in-one bond that combines two or three of the mutual sexual attraction, the mutual expressive bond, and the unconditional mutual bond without committing to any one of the three loves. The mutual ambiguous bond can behave as the transitional or backup state for the other three loves. The mutual ambiguous bond of the same sex can be the combination of the mutual expressive bond and the unconditional mutual bond. The mutual ambiguous bond of the opposite sexes can be the combination of all three loves or the combination of any two loves.

The Greek tradition divides love into (1) Eros, romantic love between people “in love”, (2) affection, between members of a family; (3) Agape, the love one has toward God and one’s neighbor, and (4) friendship. Eros, affection, Agape, and friendship correspond to the mutual sexual attraction, the mutual expressive bond, the unconditional mutual bond, and the mutual ambiguous bond.

Love

Social Life Greek tradition

Purpose mutual sexual

attraction

individualistic social life Eros reproduction mutual expressive

bond

collective social life affection expressive for survival unconditional mutual

bond

harmonious social life Agape none in a small social group mutual ambiguous

bond

the combinations of three or two other social lives

friendship ambiguous all-in-one

4.1.3. The Interaction of Social Lives in a Group

A dominated society has only one dominant social life. There are the collective dominant society, the individualistic dominant society, and the harmonious dominant society.

In the collective dominant society, bond and expressive are the top priorities, disconnection and injustice are forbidden. Human relation is much more important than systemizing legal laws. Individual prominence is repressed. External appropriate behave is much more important than inner harmony. The society is a large social group. Disorganization, repression, estrangement, and enlargement of social group are allowed sins. Anxiety, unfulfillment, estrangement, and alienation are acceptable stress responses. The collective dominant society includes Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Confucianism, and socialism.

In the individualistic dominant society, systemization and domination are the top priorities, and disorganization and repression are forbidden. Individual pursuit of perfection and domination can override social bonds. The hierarchy based on individualistic achievement is much more important than equality. The pursuit of perfection is more important than inner harmony. The society is a large social group. Disconnection, injustice, estrangement, and enlargement of social group are allowed sins. Despair, paranoid, and alienation are acceptable stress responses. The individualistic dominant society includes Classical Greek Society and capitalism.

In the harmonious dominant society, hyper bonding and detection are the top priorities, and estrangement and enlargement of basic social group are forbidden. Unrestricted by social bond, individual can move readily from one small social group to another small social group. A small harmonious social group does not need moral code for justice, does not need systemization for the improvement of living standard, and does not domination to establish hierarchy. Disconnection, injustice, disorganization, and repression are allowed sins. Despair, paranoid, anxiety, and unfulfillment are acceptable stress responses. The harmonious dominant society includes Christianity, Buddhism, and Daoism.

A peaceful unified multi-social life society consisting of the collective, individualistic, and harmonious social lives has the balanced social life. In the balanced social life, collective wellbeing is not violated severely by individualistic achievement and harmonious cooperation, individualistic achievement is not repressed severely by collective wellbeing and harmonious cooperation, and harmonious cooperation is not disharmonized severely by collective wellbeing and individualistic achievement.

To have a balanced social life, a peaceful society must have a continuous checks and balances process, so all social lives have acceptable existences. An unbalanced multi-social life society does not have good checks and balances process to find acceptable existences for all social lives. For example, in traditional marriage, husband is responsible for the individualistic life for individualistic achievement to achieve social status and wealth, while wife is responsible for the collective wellbeing of family. In a balanced marriage, the individualistic achievement by husband is not repressed by the collective wellbeing by wife, while the collective wellbeing by wife is not violated by the individualistic achievement by husband. A balanced marriage requires continuous checks and balances, so both collective life and individualistic life have acceptable existences in marriage. In an unbalanced family, the individualistic achievement by husband is repressed by the collective wellbeing by wife, and/or the collective wellbeing by wife is violated by the individualistic achievement by husband. An unbalanced marriage does not have good checks and balances process to find acceptable existences for both collective life and individualistic life. A balanced marriage has good checks and balances to work out acceptable effort, time, and risk for collective wellbeing and individualistic achievement, while an unbalanced marriage does not have good checks and balances. In dysfunctional marriage, one or both of the social lives are dysfunctional.

4.2. The Enforcement of the Social Life

Healthy society and individual in terms of social life enforce the adoption of social-life enhancer and the avoidance of social-life stressor. The enforcement originates from the memories of pleasure response and stress response, social reward and punishment, and faith.

The memory of social-life pleasure response enforces the adoption of enhancer, while the memory of social-life stress response enforces the avoidance of stressor. The process can be manifested by the memories of extreme social-life stress response and pleasure response.

The memory of extreme social-life stress response leads to posttraumatic stress stressor (PTSD), involving painful persistent re-experience of traumatic stress response, such as extreme paranoid, despair, repression, anxiety, and alienation. The extreme stress responses of paranoid, despair, repression, anxiety, and alienation are the sudden extreme damages to collective wellbeing, individualistic achievement, and harmonious cooperation, respectively, by death or violence. The re-experience is triggered by a similar experience to make the memory of the original painful traumatic experience even more painful. The re- experiencing traumatic experiencing brings about extreme avoidance and hyper-sensitivity. In PTSD, the re-experience of extreme stress response greatly damages the ability for normal life. The memory of normal social-life stress response enforces the avoidance of social-life stressor without damaging the ability for normal life.

The memory of extreme social-life pleasure response brings about post peak experience enhancer (PPEF), involving happy persistent re-experiencing of social-life pleasure response, such as extreme collective wellbeing, individualistic achievement, and harmonious cooperation. Peak experiences are described by American psychologist and philosopher Abraham H. Maslow34 as especially joyous and exciting moments in life, involving sudden feelings of intense pleasure response and well-being, wonder, and awe. The peak experience of collective wellbeing is the pleasure response for sudden

extraordinary wellbeing in social togetherness. The peak experience of individualistic achievement is the pleasure response for sudden extraordinary individualistic achievement far above ordinary individualistic achievement. The peak experience of harmonious cooperation is the social pleasure response for sudden extraordinary mutual empathy and empowerment or the personal pleasure response for the sudden extraordinary sense of unity without self. The re-experience is triggered by a similar experience to make the memory of the happy original peak experience even happier. In PPEF, the re-experience of peak experience enforces the active participation and the confidence in social-life enhancer. The memories of many experiences of normal social-life pleasure response can also enforce the active participation and the confidence in social-life enhancer.

Society rewards enhancer as virtue, and punishes stressor as sin. The collective society rewards collective wellbeing, and punishes injustice and disconnection as sins. The individualistic society rewards individualistic achievement as virtue, and punishes repression and disorganization as sins. The harmonious society rewards harmonious cooperation as virtue, and punishes enlargement and estrangement as sins.

As soon as a specific social life is established by the combination of memory and social enforcement, the faith in the social life can continue the enforcement even without the successful social life. Since social life enhanced by enhancer is often interrupted, the faith in a specific social life is important to continue the social life.