Using Grammar to Increase Immediacy and Affect
THE INTERVENTION
The basic idea is to pay close attention to the verbal interactions of group members and to create norms of using immediate, emotional language that uses first-person pronouns and active verbs as much as possible. As I see this as an important group norm I address the issue early in the group in a psychoeducational way. Early in the group, however, it is important not to challenge the “we” or “the group” that indicates the growing formation of group cohesion and a group iden- tity. This can be a delicate and important balancing act. Then, as the norm is fully established and the group matures, it becomes possible to address the defensive aspects of the verbal mannerisms more directly.
Early Group Stages
In this stage, give a cognitive explanation. Don’t challenge “we” or “the group” at this point.
Example
Sarah continues to introduce herself to the group in the second ses- sion by saying, “You know, it’s really scary to meet new people and wake up at night wondering what they thought of you.”
THERAPIST: I imagine that you’re speaking about your own experi- ence after last week’s group.
SARAH: Yes.
THERAPIST: Well, I want to point out that people will understand you better if you are really clear with what you say so that when you’re talking about yourself, you use the word I.
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SARAH: Well, I was really scared. In fact, I’m pretty shaky right now. (Others respond with resonating and empathetic comments.) Middle Group Stages
In this stage, briefly point out verbiage. Example
MARK: When Sarah said she was afraid of me, it felt frustrating—just like those times when my wife cringes away from me when I raise my voice.
THERAPIST: “It doesn’t feel anything-did you feel frustrated?” Mark sounding more irritated: “Yes, I felt frustrated. I feel like no one
listens and tries to understand what I’m angry about in the first place.”
THERAPIST: “So look at Sarah and tell her about your experience.” (Be ready to intervene so that first-person pronouns are used). Advanced Group Stages
In this stage, be alert for one-word pointers, or, if pattern persists, ask client to look at his or her resistance.
Example
DIANE: You feel so bad you just don’t want to get out of bed? THERAPIST: Who?
DIANE: “I feel so bad. It’s hard for me to get anything done. It just feels better when you’re lying there in bed and letting the world go by.”
THERAPIST: “I notice how you’re choosing to be passive in the very way that you talk about your passivity. What do you make of that?” DIANE: “It feels out of my control. The depression just takes over.” THERAPIST: “I have a hunch that if you let yourself talk more directly
about your experience you might have more feelings.” DIANE: “I’m scared of feeling out of control!”
96 101 INTERVENTIONS IN GROUP THERAPY
Other words to watch for:
• “You” (no pronoun/everyone/no one): Is there somebody feeling/ doing this? Who?
• “Make feel”: Challenge this-can someone really make you feel something?
• “I think 1 felt”: Why are they thinking/guessing about what they felt? Could they have a more immediate experience?
• Passive voice construction: e.g. “Yesterday there was a drinking binge.” “The yelling got really out of control.” Who drank? Who yelled?
TYPICAL RESPONSES
Usually group members initially respond to such interventions with compliance, laughter, and some embarrassment and without much processing. As the therapist continues to intervene, most mem- bers begin to see the impact of others changing their verbal habits and then they begin to enforce the norm on themselves and on others. Gradually, the negative impacts and defensive nature of this type of communication becomes clearer and is regularly challenged by group members.
In one open-ended group, “Mark” regularly complained about his wife’s fear of him and minimized his own contribution to their dy- namic. He would relate details of their fights using unclear pronouns so that the group became confused, frustrated, and eventually started to withdraw. My persistent pursuit of clearer language resulted in him gradually taking more ownership of his feelings and more directly ex- pressing his frustration at group members for not understanding him. The group became able to quickly give him feedback when he was sounding quite angry and aggressive but seemed unaware of his af- fect. His awareness of his own anger and of the impact of his behavior and communication style increased.
CONCLUSIONS AND CONTRAINDICATIONS
I have found this to be a very useful technique for helping group members learn to clarify their communications, to have more imme-
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diate experience of themselves and others, and to increase intimacy. I have found it quite useful with a number of populations with varied language skills. However, careful consideration of cultural and lan- guage differences is necessary since there can be major differences in different cultures’ understanding and valuing of individual responsi- bility and agency.
REFERENCES
Goulding, M. M. & Goulding R. L. (1979). Changing lives through redecision ther-
apy. New York: Brunner/Mazel.
Polster, E. & Polster, M. (1973). Gestalt therapy integrated: Contours of theory and
practice. New York: Brunner/Mazel.
Yalom, I. D. (1995). The theory and practice of group psychotherapy (Fourth edi- tion). New York: Basic Books.