A lack of evidence: okay for others but not for me?

Participants often struggled with reconciling a perceived lack of evidence for beliefs or feelings they discussed in relation to spirituality with their clear felt sense that there was ‘something in it’ that they found difficult at times to articulate clearly. For example, Joe talked about sailors (including himself) making offerings of pebbles or precious stones to Neptune when crossing the equator over sea, “Most of them wouldn’t consider themselves to be religious people but they all believe in something and they don’t take any chances”.

Notions of an ‘afterlife’ were raised by a number of participants in relation to their own understandings of spirituality, and for most others, this was talked about in carefully measured and uncertain terms (only one participant, Rachael, expressed any certainty in this regard: “I think my daughter’s somewhere better in a lovely place with my Nan and Grandad”).

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“I don’t really think there is a heaven and hell but it helps me thinking there is something beyond”

Harry

“I’m very aware that it’s incredibly important to people and that’s what’s important not what I think. I like to think that I can relate to it and I’d be lying if I didn’t think that it

would be a nice comfort to have in your last hours, your time of real need.” Nick

Participants seemed to take the view that what is found useful or comforting personally in terms of belief was more important than ‘evidence’ as such - for example, Lisa was happy to admit “I believe there are some things I understand and some things I don’t.” However, often participants seemed more accepting of others or in the abstract, and less understanding and sure of their own experiences and beliefs:

“It’s just the same as if you worship Krishna or Mohammed or Jesus Christ or whichever. Whether it be, you know, if you worship a tree in a wood if that’s what it is for

you then that’s what I’ve got to respect. I can’t, I will never impose my view.” Nick

Whilst the fear and anxiety of imposing one’s views on others will be discussed more in section (4.4.4.2.2) in a fuller elucidation of the integrative theme ‘Fear and anxiety’, what should be noted here is that participants were often more generous and accepting of others’ lack of ‘evidence’ than they were in relation to themselves - see Rachael’s “silly of me” in the following quote. Rachael was talking about finding a white feather shortly after her close friend had died. She said finding a white feather meant an Angel, which is the spirit of someone close, has been sent to look after the living:

“I remember getting into the car and there was a white feather just laid on the seat and I picked it up and I remember thinking please, please if this is you. Whether it was silly of

me to think it was anything to do with her but if it made me feel good does it really matter?”

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Rachael

However, Rachael admitted that she tried to put such beliefs to one side once she had begun her professional life as a nurse:

“When you go onto a ward there’s somebody who’s quite psychotic and they are hearing voices and people are telling you ‘Oh god they are so unwell’ and I look at them

and think, OK. Well is there something not right with me? You start questioning your own self.”

Rachael

Rachael’s personal fear and anxiety in this regard were another example of the way in which ‘fear and anxiety’ permeates here. How participants’ understandings of spirituality impacted on their professional practice will be covered later in this chapter (4.3), but here this quote well illustrates how participants could be quite uncertain about their own beliefs and personal models.

A number of participants, described associations between the term ‘spirituality’ and what were perceived as more superstitious or spiritualist practices.

“I remember once that people thought you meant spiritualism when I talked about spirituality like contacting the afterlife and mediums and stuff like that.”

Brendan

Many of the participants discussed such ‘alternative’ models of spirituality although no specific questions regarding this were raised as part of the interview schedule and often such approaches were discussed as similarly ‘lacking clear evidence’. Joe described some strange events when he lived in a house (“it was a strange place. I could write a book about it, I only lived there for a year”) which culminated in him having the house “cleansed”:

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“I’m not sure of what I make of it now but at the time it bloody worked. I used to go into the house and say hello to the presences that were in the house and stuff like that and I didn’t have a problem after that. Things stopped moving about, the dog stopped being

frightened, he still looked a bit wary and wouldn’t stay in a room on his own (laughs)”.

Joe

Harry, in contrast, was far more definite about his belief or rather disbelief of spiritualist medium concepts and likened them to magicians:

“I mean people like Doris Stokes and Derek Akora are very good at sort of like reading and leading peoples. It’s like watching Paul Daniels, you know what they do is

impressive but it’s no real magic.” Harry

However he acknowledged that many people derive comfort from such beliefs: “There’s believing in God and believing in ghosts and there’s not an awful lot of difference. It’s more about the individual’s stance. I have a fairly pragmatic stance. There’s no evidence but if it makes me feel better [pause]. If it made me feel worse I’d

have to re-evaluate.” Harry

There is an evident but very understandable tension in this statement. The nurses’ statements in their interviews indicated that the participants explicitly accepted the beliefs of others, particularly service users, but also that a comprehensive understanding of someone’s spirituality was less important than how personally useful such beliefs were. Yet, there was nonetheless sometimes an uncertain or sceptical or apologetic tone to their talk in relation to spirituality in their own lives which suggested they felt that their beliefs might not be offered the same level of acceptance or value from others.

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