Logistical escalation and logistical management

Logistics are one of the most overlooked aspects of seduction. But they make a huge difference in your results. Even a guy with terrible game, if he has great logistics, will successfully seduce and sleep with women much more consistently and easily than a guy with amazing game and skill (in conversation, physical escalation, flirting, fashion and style, and so on) but impossible logistics.

Increasing privacy and physical escalation

The first major function of logistical escalation is to bring the girl to a place where sex is possible. No matter how attracted or turned on she is, if the location does not allow sex to happen, it won’t happen.

You might be able to make out, feel her up, or even finger her or get her to give you a hand job. But fundamentally, for sex to happen, there must be a place for you to go. It could be a car, van, hotel room, secluded beach or your apartment. But it has to happen somewhere. This is something you need to think about.

The second major function is to increase physical escalation. You should be advancing physically while you advance emotionally, and while you simultaneously move her to progressively more private locations. If you are getting to more and more private and secluded places while keeping the level of physical escalation constant, then you are actually losing momentum. You are creating a situation where it will take longer than necessary to get to a given level of physical contact. (If you don’t care how long it takes to have sex or anything else, then this isn’t an issue, as long as you are able to maintain a sexual/

romantic frame throughout, which nevertheless can be difficult if you are not advancing physically.) Use the logistical escalation as a springboard to increasing amounts of physical contact. You will notice that women often attach memories of physical escalation to the location and circumstances where the escalation first happened: “We went to dinner, and then walked through the city and did some window shopping. We had our first kiss in front of the clothing store”; or “The night we had sex for the first time, we were at his place, he had jazz music playing in the background and candles lit, it was snowing

outside...” You get the idea.

Emotional escalation

The last main purpose of logistical escalation is to facilitate and deepen emotional connection. The more places you go with a girl, and the more activities you do with her, within a given period of time, the more connected the two of you will feel to each other.

It’s better to spend 2 hours with a girl going to three or four different places than to spend 2 hours stuck in the same place. You will notice a significant difference in the chemistry and energy between the two of you when you start going to multiple places on a date.

This is a universal human phenomenon seen in other cases. For example, people who go through an extreme life-changing experience together, such as a war or a major disaster like a plane crash, fire or shipwreck, often come away with an unbreakable bond for life. The explosion of emotions and experiences from these traumatic events causes a high degree of connection, despite the extremely short period of time.

The same principle applies to a first date. If you can create a bunch of experiences in rapid succession, the emotional connection will be significantly enhanced. The more variety in activities, and the more intense the experiences, the more significant this bonding effect will be. When women describe going on an “adventure” on a date, this is what they mean. The adventure is really a journey of emotions and feelings that makes her feel at once sexually excited and more deeply connected to the man.

Observation and awareness

The first step to mastering logistics is observing and being aware of the situation. You have to know where you are, how far you are from your apartment or hotel room and what is the best way to get there (car, bus, taxi, etc). You have to know her logistical situation: does she have to get up early tomorrow, how far away is her place, is she familiar with the city or does she not know where she is (if she’s a tourist for example), does she have plans to meet up with a friend later, and so on. All of this information will help you figure out what you can do with her and on what timeframe. Usually she will drop hints as to her current situation or if she has plans. If you are unsure, you can just ask her, “Do you have any plans later?”

Night game logistics

Being aware of the circumstances is especially critical in night game situations where you are looking for an instant date or taking her home that same night. You should be familiar with the neighborhood you are in, any cool bars nearby and what they are like (big or small, crowded or empty, casual or high-end, etc), and any other types of venues that would be good for taking her (coffee shops, pizza places, a public park, a beach, an ice cream shop, and so on). If you are not familiar with your town or city, then get familiar. Research online or in local periodicals. Or better yet, go out to various places in person and see for yourself what they are like. Explore your town and neighborhoods. Find out where people hang out on a Friday and Saturday night.

Finally, be aware of your own logistical situation (if you are out with a big group of friends, if the group has plans to go somewhere else later, and so on), and the girl’s situation (is she with a group of friends, or just one friend; is it a big bachelorette party, birthday party or are they just hanging out with nothing to do, etc). Being aware of these logistical realities will help you tremendously, and it will enable you to determine whether you should cut your losses and move on to the next girl, take this girl’s phone number and keep approaching others, or if you have the chance to actually instant date her or take her home.

78 Day game logistics

Logistical awareness will make a big difference in day game as well. Be aware of where you are, what she is doing (is she rushing to a business meeting, or is she wandering the streets aimlessly), how close you are to your place (if you want to try to bring her home right away), and what other places are nearby that would be good for an instant date (coffee shops, bars, restaurants, ice cream places, clothing stores, parks, whatever).

Just being aware that there is a cool little café one block down might be the difference between having a 5 minute conversation with the girl and getting a phone number that eventually flakes, and having that conversation turn into an instant date to that café, spending the rest of the evening with her and eventually making out with her.

Managing the situation

After you are aware of the situation and what your options are, the next step is to actually manage things and guide things in your desired direction. Have a general idea of what you want, and make an effort to get that (whether it’s a kiss, an instant date, taking her home, or just getting her phone number). But at the same time you are not going to get emotionally disturbed if things don’t go as you intend. Managing the situation means that you are leading things and moving things forward, but you are also being calm and confident in yourself. You are mature and you have perspective.

You should have a general set of objectives for meeting women and dating women, but without the need to get a certain result with a specific girl. That is an important distinction that will help you manage logistical escalation much more smoothly and confidently.

Managing the situation is more of a mental activity than a physical one. There is actually very little you need to do in terms of outer game. It has more to do with your attitude and mentality. Are you paying attention to the situation in front of you, noticing what’s happening with the group, or are you

disconnected and passive? If you are unaware of what’s going on, snap out of it and start paying attention. Paying attention means that you can take advantage of windows of opportunity.

For example: you are talking to a girl and she is with two friends. Her two friends at one point walk away going to the bathroom, leaving you with her alone. This is a perfect opportunity to escalate more. You can escalate physically, or even kiss her, or take her phone number. All of which might be harder to do if she was in front of her friends.

Or, suppose you are hanging out with a group of people, several girls and several guys, and someone suggests leaving and getting some pizza. This is an opportunity for you to walk with the group (instead of letting them leave without you) and escalate more and have a more private conversation with your target girl along the way.

Another example: you have a hotel or apartment nearby, within walking distance or driving distance (by taxi for instance). Everyone is having fun in your group, so you propose you all leave and go to the pizza

place nearby, and from there you can bring the whole group back to your place, if you decide that isolating your target girl from the group is not possible.

You want to keep tabs on everyone in the group and see if anyone is having a bad time or kind of bringing the energy down (or being a cock block). You can either choose to talk to that guy or girl, involve them more in the fun, or try to isolate your target girl for a period of time, talk privately and get her phone number before letting her go back to the group.

In short, you either take a position of responsibility in the group if they seem fun, cool and enjoyable for you, or you focus on the target girl for a period of time, and push things forward where possible before leaving. Either way, you are managing logistics by taking initiative and going after what you want in a calibrated way.

Dates and meet ups

Dates and meet ups with girls are all about logistical management. Managing the date well is usually the difference between an awesome experience and a mediocre one. As the man and as the person who invited her out, you are in the position to dictate the flow of the date and the activities you do. This is a very powerful role to have. It means you have many options depending on what you feel like doing and what you want for that evening.

One very simple but effective habit to get into is to create a plan for the date. Keep it in the back of your mind and remember it as the date progresses. A lot of guys have a specific place and time they plan on meeting the girl, but once they have met up with her, that’s it. There’s no more thought on their part.

It’s as if their main goal is just to see her in person, and nothing more. Instead, meeting her at the designated time is just the beginning. You should be excited and looking forward to what you’re going to do together.

An example of a date plan would be:

• Meet her at 9pm at XYZ Bar, get one drink each

• After about 30 minutes leave the bar and go for a stroll through the park

• Walk up to the bowling alley and have a game of bowling

• Kiss her by now

• Get a snack at XYZ sandwich shop nearby

• If things are going well, take her back to your place to watch a movie

This is a very simple plan that you can just implement until the point that either you or her no longer wants to be on this date. You should always have a basic idea of what you will be doing, and how long, for each date, whether it’s a first date, second date or more.

Sometimes you will sense that she is super excited, happy with how things are going and the chemistry is great. Continue as planned. Other times, things aren’t going that well and she seems bored or

uncooperative. You can try to continue (with no emotional attachment to any outcome) just for the hell

80 of it, or for the sake of practice. Or you can just let it go and cut your losses, say goodbye to her and spend the rest of the time meeting new girls.

Paying for girls

The topic of paying for girls is a perennial concern. Whether you should pay for the girl on a date depends on a number of factors. But fundamentally it comes down to what you want to do.

First get rid of the bogus notion that you “have” to pay for girls on the first date. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Paying for a girl in no way guarantees sex or anything else. In my

experience, there is absolutely no correlation between me paying for the girl, and me sleeping with the girl, or even seeing her again. Sometimes I pay for her, and I don’t even get a thank you, much less a kiss. Other times I don’t pay for her, and I end up dating her for weeks or months.

It is not appropriate to spend a lot of money on a girl you are not dating (unless you have plenty of money to burn, in which case, who cares). Once you are dating her on a regular basis, then by all means, buy her gifts and do things for her. But at the earliest stages, before she has become a part of your life, it’s not a good practice. Spending money on a girl does not change her basic emotional or sexual desire for you. If she is very attracted to you, she will not suddenly be turned off when she sees that you’re not paying.

Consider these four scenarios:

• She likes you, and you pay: Pretty straightforward, everything is going well.

• She likes you, and you don’t pay: Is the fact that you don’t pay really a big deal to a girl who likes you and is enjoying hanging out with you? No. In fact, most of the time if she’s enjoying it, she will be happy to contribute money if necessary. It’s rare that a girl has a good first date with a guy she likes. Money is not going to affect her basic desire for you. At worst, it might be an annoyance or a surprise to her if you don’t pay. But she will get over it if she really likes you. If this money thing is a deal breaker for her, then either her desire for you was not strong enough to begin with, or she is hung up on traditional gender roles and expectations.

• She doesn’t like you, and you pay: Now, the flipside. She has no real desire to see you again or hang out with you. But you pay for her. When you take out that credit card, will she suddenly completely shift her emotional state? Does that little piece of plastic magically overrule the last 30 minutes of bad conversation and no chemistry? Of course not. She is still not going to call back and she is still not going to want to see you again. Paying for her does not change anything in that regard. You are still welcome to pay for her if you want (to be polite or because you already decided to beforehand). But don’t expect it to change anything as far as her attraction is concerned.

• She doesn’t like you, and you don’t pay: Lose, lose all around. This one had no potential to begin with. At least you didn’t waste any money.

If you don’t want to pay for her for whatever reason, just tell her respectfully, “Let’s split it” when the bill comes. And then continue talking. Paying becomes a big deal only if you allow it to be.

The best way to avoid the awkwardness of the payment issue is to just go to a place where either you don’t have to pay at all (like the beach or a park) or very little (like a cheap bar or snack shop).

Remember that you are in control here. If you don’t want to spend a lot of money on a girl on a first date, then don’t take her to a place where you will spend a lot of money.

You can choose to either pay for her or not, but your choice should be based on what you want. That is high value behavior. Low value behavior would be to pay because you feel you “have to,” or you think that is what she expects and you don’t want to “offend” her, or because you think that’s the custom you have to abide by. High value behavior is to pay for her because you are happy to do it, or because you are having such a good time with her you want to buy her the drink or the experience.

It’s not important whether or not you pay. What matters is your intention and the frame you are projecting. Are you paying because you think you have to, or because you think it’s a quid pro quo situation where she will “pay you back” with sex or physical escalation later? Or are you paying because you are having a good time with her and you feel like being generous with no outcome in mind?

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~VI~

Perspective