During a panic attack, some people are prone to believe they’re going to lose control. This feared loss of control can be physical (e.g., that all your vital organs will completely lose the run of themselves and descend into chaos) or
emotional/mental (e.g., that you’ll lose your grip on reality). Those who hate social embarrassment tend to suffer from this fear the most. The feared loss of control could range from screaming in public to picking up a knife and killing the nearest and dearest person to you (not that we all don’t think of this from time to time!). Put your mind at rest! As scary as those thoughts may be, you’re not going to commit any of these acts. Relax. The reason you experience the thoughts is
because your body feels out of control. Your mind thinks that if your body is out of control, it’s next on the list.
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You’re not going to lose it. In fact, I’m sure that with all the panic attacks and heightened anxiety you’ve experienced in public places, nobody even noticed that you looked uncomfortable. We are, by nature, social animals, and we dread to be seen in some kind of embarrassing situation. The idea of jumping from your chair in a business meeting and screaming for an ambulance may go through your mind, but it’s unlikely to happen. Most people find a way to politely excuse themselves. In the end, even if we do embarrass ourselves socially, does it really matter? We have to learn to be kind to ourselves. So what if we cause a scene and great
embarrassment? Life is too short to keep up with appearances all the time. In fact, the more honest you are with your fears, the less pressure you subject yourself to.
Unreality
I’d like to discuss a symptom not often mentioned in anxiety literature—the sensation of unreality. Psychologists call this depersonalization. Many people who experience panic attacks and general anxiety become distressed by this sensation and feel they may be losing their mind. They report feeling disconnected, as if their world has become nothing more than a projection of a film. This often leads to believing that some permanent damage has been done to their brain, which is causing these sensations.
A typical manifestation of this depersonalization (unreality) is when you’re having a conversation with someone and you suddenly feel alarmingly isolated and removed from the situation. Once the sensation arises, it can be so impactful that it takes days to leave the eerie feeling behind and stop thinking about it.
The sensation is caused by delayed perception and mental preoccupation. While under constant stress or anxiety, the buildup of stress chemicals in your system causes a delayed response in sending information between neurotransmitter sites in your body. This slight delay between experience and thought can create a
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influence of marijuana, but people don’t react with fear because they’re aware that the drug is causing the sensation. It’s when the sensation arrives while you’re doing your tax return that things feel a little scary!
I mention depersonalization because the condition isn’t often discussed, and I want to reassure those of you who may have experienced it that it’s only a side effect of excessive anxiety—it will pass as soon as your anxiety level comes down. Once the mind and body return to a normal level of relaxation, your body then has the opportunity to dispel some excess chemicals, and the sensation of being disconnected from the world ends.
In combination with this buildup of stress in the body, people often become completely absorbed in mental activity, further fueling the feeling of separation from the world. It’s very easy to start imagining all the terrible mental illnesses that this sensation could mean, but don’t worry, you haven’t caused any damage to yourself, and you’ll return to the person you were before depersonalization crept in. You’ll have to trust me on that.
The quickest way out of this disconnected feeling is to really accept it for the time being and have faith that it will pass shortly. Shrug your shoulders and relax into it, regardless of how strange it feels. You can adopt this relaxed attitude because you know that you’ll return to normal when you remove anxiety from the equation. Remind yourself that this is a phase you’re moving through, so be patient and kind to yourself while you’re experiencing it.
What really moves people out of this sensation quickest is adopting an attitude that all is well. And it is. These unusual sensations of depersonalization are just a
nuisance, but they’ll pass. As I mentioned, not feeling connected to yourself in this manner is solely due to the anxiety in your system, and it’s then reinforced when you constantly check in to see how you’re feeling. Checking in means that you could be having a conversation with someone, but part of you continually checks to see if the eerie feeling is there or not. It’s like you’re overanalyzing yourself all the
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time, and that can make you feel even stranger. I appreciate how uncomfortable it can be, but don’t worry about it. It will leave, so don’t let the thoughts sucker you into thinking you’ll be stuck with this depersonalization feeling all your life. Those thoughts aren’t valid.
The more you flow along with it and don’t react, the more quickly you’ll return to feeling more yourself. It takes a little practice, but that change in attitude makes a big difference in how you feel. You should also engage in physical activities like outdoor exercise when you feel this way. Activities such as walking, running, biking, swimming, etc., help to shift your attention from an overfocus on mental activity to the more physical experience of your body. Physical pursuits get you out of your mind, so to speak, and into your body. Note that exercising outdoors is preferred because fresh air improves mood and an overall sense of well-being.