Why do so many people assume that all single people are lonely? This really gets my hackles up. I have been unmarried all my life and I wouldn‘t have it any other way.
I‘ve seen a number of those so-called wonderful marriages, and all I have to say is, ―No, thank you.‖ Married people must account to one another for every living minute. Each has the right to know where the other is at all times, how much money he or she spends and on what?
Marriage demands that everything be shared. Once you are married there is no such thing as ―mine.‖ It‘s all ―ours.‖
I enjoy coming home at night to a quiet, serene house where I can relax. I see and listen to people all day. I don‘t need to hear any more voices. If I want to talk, there is the telephone. If I want company I have plenty of neighbors and friends. But it‘s my choice.
I know married women who are lonely as hell, not to mention the ones who are stuck with alcoholics, gamblers, skirt-chasers and sex-maniacs. Surely others must see this, too. I am puzzled as to why so many single women think they are missing so much. Maybe it‘s because people have a tendency to long for what they don‘t have instead of counting their blessings.
What Does It Mean? (1) assume
(2) This really gets my hackles up.
(3) Married people must account to one another for every living minute. (4) But it‘s my choice.
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(5) skirt-chasers
(6) People have a tendency to long for what they don‘t have instead of counting their blessings
Questions
(1) What kind of prejudice do people generally have about single people? (2) What does the writer illustrate as married people‘s obligations?
(3) What kind of freedom does the writer think single people enjoy? (4) What is the writer puzzled about?
(5) Why do single people think they are missing so much?
Discussion Points
(1) Will you marry or remain single?
(2) What do you think about people staying unmarried?
(3) Talk about the good things and bad things about marriage? (4) Do you think unmarried people are an ―odd‖, ―strange‖ breed?
Opinion Samples
(1) I think marriage is hell for both man and woman. But almost always the wife has more responsibility for the children, the home, the dog, and her job, and she is the central emotional prop of the entire family. As if this weren‘t enough, she has to put up with in-laws, her husband‘s obnoxious buddies, and his character and personality flaws that he works overtime to conceal from others.
On the other hand, the man also has to pay a high price; he is responsible for the family‘s bread and butter. He is always under his wife‘s scrutiny, which limits
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his freedom. I don‘t understand why people have to live with these burdens. Being single is the best way to enjoy our lives.
(2) I‘m married because that is probably the best thing for me especially because of the stability of the relationship.
I want and need the warmth and comfort of relationships—a home around me. The communicating, growing together, working on problems, enjoying things, nurturing—and receiving.
I have been married twenty-eight years and I like it. I like the familiarity, the friendship, having someone special to love. It‘s fun, healthful, and keeps things in perspective. It softens difficult times. It is nice to be wanted and needed. I like marriage. I need and depend upon a wife, good or bad.
I love being married. Having a life partner is exciting, fulfilling and comforting. My wife is my backbone in my business. She takes care of everyday problems that I don‘t want to handle. She is a very good mother to my children, even though she does not turn me on sexually anymore.
Having people around that love you is a very secure feeling. I love my wife and children and they love me.
Home serves as a secure base of operations, a place where I can be me, where I can always come back to, and where I can share my successes and failures. Of course, it‘s a give-and-take process, and much of the responsibility on my part is listening to my wife also.
Marriage is the best arrangement for maintaining security, sanity, child raising, and economic well-being.
(3) There is nothing sadder than an unmarried woman. It breaks my heart to see her strolling through the shopping malls, miserably buying exactly what she likes. It‘s an empty life spending her money and her time as she chooses without worrying what anyone else thinks, needs or wants.
Single women are so wrapped up in themselves, one has to feel sorry for them. They don‘t have to check with anyone if they decide to see a movie instead of coming home for dinner. They don‘t fight with anyone over bills, the color of
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the living room, carpet, or at whose house they‘ll spend the holidays. It‘s a pretty pathetic picture.
Everyone should be married. No one should be allowed to escape this wonderful experience with its various adjustments.
(4) Our society exerts enormous pressure on both men and women to ―get married and live happily ever after.‖ Some employers insist on it; they run advertisements which specifically state ―Only married men need apply.‖ The implication is that married men are more reliable than single men. But are they? Well, some are and some aren‘t.
Relatives often view the unmarried member of the family as the odd one. Parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins by the dozen, are forever looking for ―a nice girl.‖ Well-meaning friends never give up trying to put the singleton in double harness. Some singles need and appreciate a friendly assist, but it‘s a safe bet that when a man reaches the middle thirties without a trace of rice in his hair, he‘s better off single.
I don‘t believe that marriage is good for everyone. Some people should go it alone. I call them non-marriageable and they arrange themselves into distinct categories.
The most obvious non-marriageable personality is the adult who can‘t cut loose from his family. This apron-string type is most frequently a male. Every
community, no matter how small, has at least one. He is attractive, intelligent, successful, and considered ―very eligible.‖ He often dates a lovely woman for several years and tells all within hearing distance that he‘d like to marry her some day, but for all kinds of complicated reasons he must wait. Put all his reasons together and they spell MOTHER.
The non-marriageable men who possess excessively aggressive characteristics are the compulsive workers or the money grabbers. The compulsive worker can be a scientist, a newspaper editor, a politician, or an artist, but usually he‘s a businessman. He eats, sleeps, and dreams his career. It is not money that motivates him; in fact he frequently passes up more lucrative opportunities to stay with the work he loves. He would rather work than eat or sleep, and often
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this is precisely what he does. Such a man is better off single. He contributes to marriage, and it is difficult for any wife to settle for the crumbs.
The money grabber can often fool a woman. She is deluded into thinking he‘ll make a good husband because he is obviously headed for financial success. He‘s dynamic, aggressive, indefatigable and imaginative, all fine qualities. But they can be destructive when not balanced by a decent set of values.
The most easily recognized non-marriageable female is the wildly competitive type. The competitive woman is usually successful in business or a profession. She is competent, aggressive, driven and domineering. Her theme song is ―Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better.‖ She hails the taxi, orders the dinner, finishes the man‘s sentences for him and wants to lead on the dance floor. She pours a great deal of her energy into her work and finds her major satisfaction in the feeling of importance that it gives her.
She makes a lovely dinner companion but a horrible wife. To her a man is an audience, a whipping boy, an object of her hostility, and sometimes a willing slave.
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SITUATION 13