Percentage Number
Following completion of the project, I realized that I conducted no measurement of how participation in the study impacted Research Group participants. Therefore, the Post-Project Survey was developed and sent to participants for completion approximately four months following the project’s completion (see Appendix 9). The survey was distributed to all Research Group participants who were asked to rate the impact of each Workshop segment in which they participated. Five of the Research Group participants completed the Post-Project Survey. Eighty percent (80%) of participants reported the workshops in which they participated were very impactful and twenty percent (20%) reported the workshops were somewhat impactful. All participants reported participation in each of the workshops was a positive experience with one exception. One participant reported participation in Workshop #3 had a negative impact upon him because he left feeling helpless regarding his ability to reduce the violence in the society in which we live. That same participant, however, reported that the experience of participating in Workshop #3 was somewhat impactful although in a negative way. In hindsight, I would rather have created an evaluation instrument that would have been used at the close of each workshop segment rather than sending another survey four months later. This would have given me immediate feedback on the impact of the workshop on participants and provided them a means of reporting their experiences while their memories were fresh rather than approximately 120 days later when their memories may have been fading.
Assessment of Personal Growth and Development. While conducting this study, I was aware of my own parallel process. Each evening I was fatigued near the end of the session because prior to meeting with the group I had already endured a 12-hour day at
minimum. The drive from the hospital where I work as a Chaplain to St. Paul averaged 1.5 to 2 hours in heavy traffic which also contributed to my tiredness. Nevertheless, Research Group Participants gave me high ratings as a workshop facilitator and interviewee as evidenced by the surveys they completed at the end of the workshop and/or interview sessions. A majority of workshop participants reported that I was prepared to facilitate sessions, that I was knowledgeable of the subject matter presented, that their questions were answered sufficiently, and that I clearly communicated the workshop and project information to them. Additionally, participants reported that each workshop started and ended on time with exception of the last workshop which lasted well beyond the time allocated due to the above-referenced verbose conversations that erupted. Feedback from the workshop participants affirmed my efficacy as a facilitator and as a growing expert in the material that I researched and presented to them. These affirmations grew me professionally and spiritually as they affirmed not only the broad knowledge I received by engaging in this research, but also my calling as a pastoral caregiver equipped by God to serve God’s people.
The biggest regret I have in facilitating this project is that I did not dedicate an entire session or portion thereof to share with the group the grief I was experiencing at leaving the St. Paul congregation. While I was keenly aware of the period of
bereavement I was experiencing in response to my abrupt departure from St. Paul a week following our Annual Conference, I stuck to the task at hand rather than engaging the group in a process that could possibly have fostered healing for them and me. I sensed that St. Paul parishioners were also experiencing the pain of my loss as their shepherd and a member of their community. However, I did not formally attend to this looming
cloud that cast a shadow over my head and possibly theirs. Cooper-White encourages pastoral caregivers to assess how their unresolved personal issues may be impacting their care to others.92 In her presentation of the case study of Linda, Cooper-White
demonstrates how one’s own “stuff” might interfere with the care one provides. While facilitating these workshops, I was engaged with participants but also intentionally guarded with my emotions. I struggled to balance my engagement with parishioners with my process of grief and my felt need to protect myself from further attachment to St. Paul members. My own sub-stories played in the background while I simultaneously served as a story companion to group members.93 I finished the sessions sufficiently but left each one feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. Throughout the project, I recognized my need for self-care and attended to same by seeking the help of
professional colleagues. In retrospect, I regret the decision to forge ahead and not take time out to process my own grief and the grief participants might have also been
experiencing. Storytelling around this issue could have provided healing and a means of closure for the volunteers and me while also giving voice to an elephant in the room that unfortunately went unacknowledged.
When designing this project, I planned to present findings of the study to the St.
Paul congregation following its completion. This did not happen because of the change in pastoral assignments that occurred very close to the study’s inception. Because I now serve as pastor in a different location that meets at the same time each Sunday as St. Paul,
92 Pamela Cooper-White. Shared Wisdom: Use of the Self in Pastoral Care and Counseling. (Minneapolis: Ausburg Press, 2004). Kindle Edition, 992-1001.
93 Scheib, 61-77.
making this presentation personally proves difficult. Therefore, I will provide St. Paul with a copy of the project for its perusal upon completion. My hope is that in the future, I will also be able to return to the St. Paul to thank the congregation personally for their assistance with this effort and engage in a dialogue with them about how this project might have shaped them theologically and personally.
Through engagement in this research, I have learned that the process of effecting change in a congregation or community requires a strong work ethic, tediousness to the task at hand, commitment, dedication, and attention to the pastoral care needs of persons involved and not just the particularities and outcomes of the research. I have grown in my ability to suspend tasks for the sake of taking care of the people that God has placed in my care. With fortitude, I have braved new storms that have come my way and persevered. If I could go back and do some things differently, I would, i.e. working through the pain of my loss pertaining to leaving the St. Paul congregation and inviting attendees to journey together in group process surrounding that issue. However, what I have learned along the way has made me a better Pastor, Chaplain, pastoral caregiver, and researcher going forward.
68 CHAPTER 5 CONCLUSION
This project can be considered successful in terms of the means of evaluation I used. As proposed, I engaged St. Paul parishioners who were violence victims in a process of learning about and engaging in storytelling. I collected and recorded the stories of five Research Group participants in individual sessions. The level of
participation in individual interviews represented 83.3% of the persons who signed up for them (5 out of 6). Workshop attendance dwindled as the workshops progressed. While 100% of the group attended the first segment, participation dwindled to 45.4% at Workshop #4 where common themes among individual stories were discussed with the group at large. Two participants were prohibited from attending segment 4 due to a prior obligation and the death of a family member, respectively. Portions of the stories
individuals shared in their interviews were discussed with the larger group. Six Research Group participants (54.5%) attended the final session and completed the Post-Workshop Survey I administered. The group brainstormed ideas regarding what the church could have done to minister to them when they experienced violence. However, the group spent more time talking about codes of secrecy within their family systems and the black community than it did coming up with ways the church could reach violence victims.
The group’s sharing of common threads in their stories seemed to promote healing and cohesion within the group. Though limited, group participants’ sharing of ideas of how the church can help pointed to God’s salvific work and the church’s missiology.
Though only one person in the Research Group reported an improvement in her sense of wellbeing as a result participating in the project, participants verbally expressed
that they found the workshops helpful. Participants stated in writing that they would recommend the series of workshops to others. Findings of the study sustain that experiences of violence are prevalent within the St. Paul congregation. Project results suggest that storytelling helps to facilitate healing in violence victims. The Post-Project Survey administered four months after the project’s inception showed the workshops were either somewhat impactful (20%) or very impactful upon participants (80%).
Overall comments pointed to how participation in the workshops helped subjects to express themselves better and/or be more willing to do so; how the workshops helped them to come to a better understanding of how they became the persons that they are;
how the workshops raised their levels of consciousness and helped them be more aware of their surroundings; how workshop participation gave them a better understanding of the importance of storytelling in order to be relatable to the congregation and in everyday business to make one’s point for others to see; and how storytelling created excitement about learning more about their family histories. Though the outcome of this project proved beneficial, further study will need to be conducted on a wider scale to determine how effective storytelling is with victims of violence. In the meantime, the findings of this report might prove helpful to churches who seek to use storytelling to minister healing to victims of violence in their congregations and communities.
70 APPENDIX A