The previous chapter focused on managing the influx of information that you encounter each day, particularly at work and school. Despite the fact that many “things” are avail-able in or can be converted into digital formats, such as scanned documents, e-books, digital movies, and electronic music files, there remains a good deal of “stuff ” to be managed and organized. Moreover, although it may seem to be a nuisance symptom of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), misplacing or losing important items is an issue that can have serious consequences in some cases. This chapter focuses on approaches for managing the stuff of life.
Do You Need It?
The first step is prioritizing what you choose to bring into your living space (or else-where) by asking yourself, “Do I really need this?” This step is one that is common when decluttering, but it is also a useful question to help you to develop a plan for organizing and managing your possessions, including at the point of acquisition.
Ultimately, the choices about your possessions and how they fit your lifestyle are personal ones to make based on your preferences. However, it is helpful to view these preferences, in fact, as choices in order to challenge the automatic reaction that “I must have this,” particularly if you find it difficult to manage clutter. It is important to make informed decision about your belongings.
There are many items that can be stored in digital format, which was covered to vary-ing degrees in the Chapters 8 and 9, particularly with regard to govary-ing paperless. There are many options that will allow you to save space by reducing books, CDs, DVDs, paper files, etc. Going digital is an option that reduces clutter and makes it easier to manage your physical surroundings.
There are other items, such as clothes, dishes, furniture, and various appliances and knickknacks that are necessary but which take up space. Even though a particular item may have been in your possession for a long time, you can look through your things and consider their usefulness. For example, you can consider how often items are actu-ally used relative to the space they take up, and decide to discard some items that are no longer needed or used. Clothing is a commonly used example to illustrate a coping skill for sorting through possessions.
For example, you can sort through your clothing and eliminate items that do not fit you anymore, are worn out, out of style, or that you are otherwise unlikely to wear again. A
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second level of review is to look at items that have not been worn in the past 6 to 12 months.
These pieces of clothing may be perfectly fine, but simply are no longer in the rotation of what you typically wear, for whatever reason. Perhaps you already have enough of that particular item of clothing. There may be sentimental value, such as a concert t-shirt from way-back-when or a beat-up jersey of a favorite team. You will have to use your cognitive modification skills to honestly determine whether you really will wear these items with a frequency that warrants keeping them. This is not to say that you should not keep a few items for which you have an emotional connection (“But it was a great concert!”), but the vast majority can be discarded. You might have to cycle through a few rounds of this pro-cess, finding that you hold onto an item for an extra couple of weeks before concluding,
“I’m really not going to wear this” and then being able to let go of it.
The main thought that contributes to holding onto items is the worry that “I might really need/want to have this at some point and then I will regret not having it.” A use-ful cognitive reframe to deal with difficulties “letting go” of possessions is that there has never been a better time in the history of the universe to track down items if it turns out that you need one of them again in the future. It is highly unlikely that you will
“need” any possession to that degree. Working in an academic institution as we do, we understand the hesitancy of getting rid of a copy of a journal article or and old book that might end up being relevant for a future project. Using this example, however, profes-sional journals have been digitized and electronic versions of articles have become the standard means of access. Even if the book is not available as an e-book or from Google books, it is very likely that a used copy will be available for online purchase, interlibrary loan will be able to track down a copy, or an e-mail request can be sent out to colleagues asking to borrow a copy (or to get a copy of the relevant chapter). The difficult task is letting go of the item; after it is gone, though, you will not miss it, representing another example of investing short-term discomfort for a longer-range gain.
The other side of the materials management process is making reasoned rather than impulsive decisions about the acquisition of new possessions. The first question is, “Do I really need this?” Even if you have the immediate reaction that, yes, you need or especially want an item, the question is then, “Do I need to obtain it right now?” You may invoke a 24-hour delay to “sleep on it” as a means to manage the impulse to buy an item right away. This sort of delay tactic represents an exposure exercise. By facing these feelings of discomfort, you buy time that allows you to think through the purchase rather than suc-cumbing to impulsivity. It is the relief from the discomfort of not having the item that is most reinforcing, rather the benefit of having the item (magnified by ADHD-related impulsivity), which is why such an exposure/response prevention approach is necessary.
An adaptive way to handle an immediate urge to obtain an item is to consider other ways for procuring it. For example, you may see an interesting book that has just been released on a favorite topic or by a favorite author. You may consider the likelihood that if you get the book, whether you will then actually read it immediately. Even if you think you will do so, instead of spending the full price for the hardcover edition or electronic version, you can see if it is available through your local public library, with many librar-ies loaning e-books. If you get the book from the library, there is no cost if you do not read it (as long as you return it by its due date). If you are still interested in owning a copy of the book later on, you will able to obtain a used copy at a discount from an online store, a more economical paperback version, or perhaps as a gift. If the book remains a
priority for you, you may use it as a reward toward which you work, such as a positive reinforcement for completing a project at work or for reducing the number of clothes in your closet. Impulsivity often swamps your ability to work through these options, and it results in one of the literal and figurative “costs” of ADHD.
You will invariably obtain new items and possessions. An adaptive framework for doing so is that for every item you acquire, you discard an equivalent item. Often this is a simple matter, such as obtaining a new kitchen appliance to replace one that is broken. However, there may be other circumstances in which the purchase of a new item helps you to discard another, such as the purchase of a few new dress shirts allowing you to finally get rid of a bunch of older ones that you had been holding onto because they were “good enough.”
We realize that these coping strategies are guidelines and may not apply to all posses-sions. You may choose to “violate” them. Also, there may be some situations for which our suggestions do not apply, such as when purchasing things you need for the arrival of a new baby, or keeping a collection of items that you do not use much but that you value, such as old baseball cards. These suggestions are meant to provide a decision-making framework with which to help you manage impulsivity.
Finding a Place for Your Stuff
As with the saying about real estate, the three most important aspects of managing your stuff are “location, location, and location.” As much as is possible, having specific, dedi-cated places where you store items helps to keep them organized, or at the very least allows you to find them easily. The repetition of storing items in these go-to places helps make the process more automatic and will save you untold stress, frustration, and time spent searching for things.
Different readers will have different residential circumstances, from sharing a studio apartment with a roommate to living in a spacious house, each set-up providing its own storage challenges. Finding containers for your items, be it a section of a closet, a filing cabinet, a large plastic container, or a desk drawer are the seemingly simple steps you can take, but they require at least a minimum of time and effort to establish. There are smaller containers that further help you organize items, such as silverware holders, a cup to hold pens on your desk, or a plastic box in which you keep your multiple flash drives.
There may be some important, but infrequently used, items that must be stored, such as luggage or the rotation of seasonal clothing. Again, having a defined space where these items are kept, such as a corner in the attic, the back of a closet, box in the garage, or other location, helps you keep track of them and find them when you need them. If you have lim-ited space, it may be worth the investment in renting an external storage space or bartering for storage space at a family or friend’s house. The realization that you do not have enough space for your things may prompt you to sort through and discard unnecessary items.
Tools of Daily Life
There are many items that you use on a daily basis that are essential to keep track of.
Keys, a wallet or purse, a work or school ID card, cell phone, and eye glasses are the crucial “tools of daily life.” Some readers have additional essential “tools,” such as an
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inhaler for asthma, prescribed medications, epi-pen, or other health-related items. Stu-dents may have additional academic materials they need for class, such as a book bag (a smaller container for your books and notebooks) and laptop or computer tablet (and do not forget your charger!), or a worker might have a briefcase. As the late comedian George Carlin would say, these are all just smaller places for your stuff.
It is important to have a centralized location for unloading and reloading these tools.
Many adults with ADHD devote a decent amount of time and stress each day in a frantic search for these tools of daily life, trying to retrace steps, rifling through coat pockets and seat cushions, and organizing a household search party to track them down. Well-intentioned advice and help offered by bystanders only fans the flames of your annoyance and embarrassment.
Most people eventually arrive at the solution of storing the tools of daily life in some sort of container by the front door. A nail or more decorative holder on the wall works well for keys. Other options include reserving a cabinet drawer for these items, a con-tainer on a dresser in the bedroom, or in some other conspicuous location. These sys-tems are helpful not only for getting off to work or school with a minimal searching, but also for getting out the door when running errands or for other personal commitments.
There is never a good time to misplace these items, so it is a good practice to establish and maintain the centralized place for your essential tools.
There may be some items that you use regularly, but not each day, which are at risk for being forgotten, such as a gym bag or items needed for a weekly meeting at work. Simply setting them by the door or posting a reminder note on a door knob provides you with visual reminders to take these items with you. Packing them in your car the night before also takes the pressure off having to rely on your memory.
The key to the success of these coping strategies is your consistency in storing the tools of daily life in the defined location and being on guard for coping drift. You might set your keys down on a coffee table in the living room and have the thought, “I’ll be using them later. I don’t need to put them by the door.” After using your cell phone, you slide it into the pocket of your jacket, thinking, “I’ll remember to put it in my purse when I’m on the train.” Later on, the keys will be hidden under a newspaper, and the phone will be nestled in the pocket of the jacket hanging safely in the closet as you desperately rummage through your house looking for them.
So what gets in the way of using these helpful coping skills? As with procrastination on tasks, it is common to magnify the inconvenience and minimize the utility of taking the steps to put an item where it belongs. Hence you will have to challenge these thoughts (e.g.,
“I’ll have to go all the way back to the other room to get my phone out of my jacket.”), to consider another way of looking at it (e.g., “It will take me less than 30 seconds, there and back, and then I will not have to worry about it.”), and to invest a brief amount of inconve-nience to follow through (which is never as bad as you think it will be). You will save yourself from lost time, stress, aggravation, and potential negative consequences associated with not using your coping strategy (e.g., late to a meeting or an exam due to missing car keys).
Keeping Up with Mail
As much as you may try to reduce clutter by setting up automatic payments, going paperless, and discarding little-used items, there still will be a regular flow of incoming
stuff. Postal mail continues to present a daily prioritization challenge comprised of a mix of important items and unnecessary clutter.
Many people with ADHD describe anticipatory stress at the prospect of sorting through their mail—primarily bills. They assume that the chore will be more of a hassle than it really is, thereby reducing the likelihood of staying on top of it. There are finan-cial concerns about dealing with bills that may be related to specific circumstances, such as having a tight budget or being low on funds, which creates worries about finding an unexpected bill. Some people describe a global negative thought of “Whatever impor-tant mail I receive cannot be good news.” Lastly, you may simply be avoiding the hassle of facing this particular chore.
The end result of these assumptions is that you avoid going through your mail to escape the aggravation and to avoid the possibility of getting some kind of bad news—“If I do not see it, it does not exist.” The logical response is that it is statistically unlikely (but still possible) that there will be an unexpected bill, however, you may also avoid dealing with one of your regular bills due to the anticipated stress of facing a large payment. Another adaptive response is that it is better to be informed, face the issue, and to deal with the bill.
We recommend sorting through the mail immediately when you have the chance and to discard all but the essential items, such as bills, tax information, greeting cards from friends and family, etc. Everything else gets discarded. It is helpful to have a trash can or recycling bin nearby to make the process easier.
You will receive advertisements or offers in your mail that seem interesting and you contemplate keeping them, “just in case” you decide that you need them. We suggest that unless you are 100% sure that you will use it (e.g., coupon for an item you are already planning to purchase, discount for an oil change from your mechanic), get rid of it. This suggestion follows the idea of OHIO—“only handle it once.” You make the decision in the moment and then move on—once you let it go, it will not bother you anymore.
After purging the junk mail, you will be left with important items. Most often, the remain-ing items will consist of bills to be paid, tax forms, or some other item requirremain-ing follow-up action by you, such as a car registration renewal. At the very least, it is useful to have a container or location for these items so that you can find them later. This container can be as simple as a shoebox or a large manila folder that is dedicated for this purpose. Having this system will provide you with the confidence that “if I received it, it is in this container.”
Of course, you will have to devote some time and effort to follow up on the items in the container. You may arrange to go through the items later that same day or perhaps set up a weekly routine, such as devoting time on Saturday morning to going through the con-tainer, pay the bills, file the forms, etc. One of our patients took her shoebox to a favorite coffee shop on Saturday morning, ordered a coffee, and dealt with her week’s mail there.
You can make an appointment with yourself in your Daily Planner for this task.
Although we advise going paperless in order to reduce clutter, an advantage of having a piece of paper is that it provides an external reminder of a task. Thus, when going through a box of mail and bills, you can see your progress as you empty out the box. A particular mail item might provide you with an electronic option for taking care of it, such as renew-ing your automobile registration online. Dealrenew-ing with this online task as part of your mail review ensures that it gets done rather than run the risk of the task being delayed.
With the reduction in postal mail in recent years, there is a corresponding increase in e-mail, which requires its own efforts to manage. While a shoebox of postal mail will
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reach a point of overflow that can be seen, your e-mail inbox can be “overflowing,” but your screen still will only show the most recent 25 or so messages.
reach a point of overflow that can be seen, your e-mail inbox can be “overflowing,” but your screen still will only show the most recent 25 or so messages.