men who attacked her. He reported the offense to the police, but he was too late. It seems this was not the first nor the last crime those despicable men had committed, including homicide. They were already convicted of said homicides and were now making licence plates, probably for the rest of their unnatural lives.
elskon : I see you are sad, do you want to tell me about it? Grace : It is not your fault
elskon : Well, it could be. I'm not infallible you know. <smile> Grace : no, I am sad because of Akira. He has become withdrawn elskon :. As I told you before, time heals. This whole thing has been a terrible blow to him.
Grace : it scares me
elskon : You have to look at what has happened to Akira in a rational way. He does not feel good about himself right now because he failed to protect you.
Grace : there is something else I need to tell you elskon : Yes?
Grace : Last night I was so upset I went to the little place by the bay window that looks outside and I talked to Jesus and the child
elskon : Yes?
Grace : and I talk to the child just like it was my child and I put my face near her, my cheek on her cheek
elskon : Of course, that child is part of you – the child is the three children together.
Grace : and the child moved this time and put her hand on my ear and touched me.
elskon : That is very good. I think it may be time for you to hug the child and look into her eyes. Why not try it?
Grace : the child does not have open eyes.
elskon : Well, ask her to open her eyes and then look into them. Grace : She is not an ordinary child... she gives me pictures elskon : Those pictures are probably of your past.
Grace : yes. I am with her now
The “I am with her” tells you she may be starting to merge already. Though I continue to interact with Janice to encourage her, from this point on I’m really just a bystander.
elskon : Maybe she has more pictures to give you. The only way to tell is to hug her and look into her eyes. When she has given you all her pictures then you can merge with her.
Grace : I reach down to her and put my cheek on her cheek and it is different
Grace : I am not in her eyes but the picture is ME elskon : Pick her up and hold her. Hold her close. Grace : I cannot speak
Grace : I will tell you what I am thinking but it may not make any sense to you
elskon : well try
Grace : This child....she is being born in me.... it is just what I am thinking ... I don't know how to tell you what I am thinking elskon : Smile, but I understand it.
Grace : I am being born in myself
It is difficult to describe what is happening here, but Janice starts feeling the birth-child in the center of her torso, then the birth-child begins to stretch out until it merges into her whole body, then into her arms and legs, all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes.
elskon : Yes, it is a different way of expressing what usually happens when the birth-child merges, but I understand it. Grace : It is a total feeling
elskon : I understand that, the child is stretching out inside you. Is that not correct?
Grace : it is an overtaking feeling and total weakness at first, but it has the feeling of the child self
Grace : I try to slow it
elskon : Please don't slow it. The sooner this is finished the sooner you will be of one mind the way Jesus created you in the first place.
Grace : and when it first happens I couldn't think or see for a little
elskon : I know. You will have difficulty thinking or seeing out for a little while. That is normal.
Grace : right now I am happy
elskon : This is the most important thing that will ever happen in your whole life.
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elskon : Yes, if you think it is not so, ask Jesus. You are now a whole person for the first time since you were very little. What can be more important than that?
Grace : how can a baby exchange? (i.e., split) You are saying this little child exchanged? that I was multiple while I was baby?
elskon : Yes, unless I misunderstand what happened, your first abuse happened while you were a baby, and you split back then. elskon : You are now merging with that birth-child. You can ask Jesus if what I think is not correct.
Grace : He says it is correct.
Grace : it is a feeling like no other joining... and Jesus says it is very much important as you say.
elskon : There are no other alters left inside now are there? Just Hiroshi and Jesus.
Grace : yes, and Jesus says they are not leaving us
elskon : That is wonderful. I am glad they will stay with you. Grace : things look so different now
elskon : What are you telling me? Grace : I can feel. I can feel what I touch
Grace : my touch is sensitive. I can feel the bumps on the table, the wood grain
Grace : the keyboard feels different. I can feel smooth and rough Grace : I can see different. Before I can see what I stare at good, but other things be blurred. now I have a bigger field of vision. elskon : Yes that is called peripheral vision
As mentioned earlier, though they are usually unaware of it, most multiples have reduced peripheral vision and sense of touch. Those deficiencies are corrected when they fully merge.
Grace : and this is not so wrong to you? That it is different? elskon : No, it is right.
Grace : ok, blushing for being so open. I have a question for you Grace : Now you have helped me to do what you had to for me, are you going to leave me?
elskon : No, I will always be your papa san. <smile> Grace : thank you because I need a papa san
elskon : You will continue to grow, but all the major corrections have now been made.
Grace : I have some memories that I did not have before, and some are gone
elskon : It is because those memories are in the memory box. You could get them back if you needed them, but they are safe there and won't hurt you.
Grace : I know, and Grace wasn't just drinking too much she was becoming very “loose” like nothing mattered.
elskon : I was afraid that might be happening. You were very close to disaster.
Grace : I do not know why we came to your Bible School room. I am like a little baby starting over today
elskon : Yes
Grace : I am very happy. I just feel everything is and will be okay now.
elskon : Yes it will. Bye for now Grace : bye
And that’s the way it ended. Grace was now a monomind and she happily went back to her family full time. Oh, she kept in touch until Akira got over being upset and a for few weeks after, but who keeps in touch with their doctor when they don’t need him anymore? DIEDRE
Remember Diedre of Chapter One? The woman who had malignant hypertension, had been in therapy for seven years and was supposed to die? Well, I worked with her for three years, eventually to a final merge . . . and another final merge . . . and another final merge . . . one after another, but that final merge kept breaking apart.
I had no idea what to do until I remembered something she told me a couple of years earlier. Three year old Diedre believed her father had murdered her brother and sister (the children had actually died in an accidental cave-in of a drainage ditch their father was digging). But this now middle-aged woman still clung to the fiction that her father was a murderer. It occurred to me that she was still trapped by the faulty memory of a three year old. That unforgiveness and hatred of her father might be keeping her a multiple . . .
elskon : I remember you hated your father for killing your brother and sister. Well, how old were you when your brother and sister died in that cave in?
Diedre : Three
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Diedre : Yes
elskon : And didn’t your mother tell you many times that it was an accident?
Diedre : Yes she did
elskon : And your mother remained with your father after that accident happened, right?
Diedre : yes
elskon : Well let me ask you a question: Is your mother a good woman?
Diedre : O, she is a very good woman.
elskon : So is it possible for a really good woman to lie about what happened to your brother and sister and stay with a man who murdered two of her beloved children?
Diedre : I don’t think so.
elskon : You are a kindergarten teacher, right? Diedre : Yes
elskon : Ok, so you know how kids think, don’t you? You know they don’t always see things the way we do.
Diedre : That is true.
Elskon : So let me ask you this: If someone younger than your kindergarten kids said her father had murdered her brother and sister, would you believe her?
Diedre : I’m not sure they would understand the concept.
elskon : Right, so don’t you see . . . here you are 55 years of age, and you have lived a life of hatred towards your father based on the faulty perception of a three year old?
Diedre : O my, I never saw it that way before.
elskon : You have been hating your father for something he never did and hating your mother for staying with him after the accident happened . . . all based on the faulty perception of a three year old.
elskon : Not only are you hating him for something he didn’t do, but since he died several years ago, you are still hating someone who isn’t even here anymore.
elskon : Not only that, you are hating your mother for staying with a man who must have suffered for the rest of his life because of what happened to his children.
elskon : They both loved those children, you know. You have lost a son, remember how much that hurt? Do you think your parents suffered any less after losing two?