The purpose of this model is to serve as a framework of reference for the facilitation of transformation through the integration of silence as a lifestyle. It is done by means of accompanying seekers through facilitation.
The model’s process consists of four phases; however, one phase is never completely concluded and done with. The phases keep building on one another and remain interconnected in the process of transformation through the integration of silence as a lifestyle. Although the nature of the relationship between the accompanist as facilitator and the seeker (Phase 1) shifts to a friendship, it remains a mutual relationship of trust.
5.9.1 Phase 1: Establishing a trust relationship
The mutual phase is the starting phase of the model. It starts off with a meeting between the accompanist as facilitator and the seeker. They meet in the larger context of a religious milieu. The point of departure is when the seeker asks for assistance or accompaniment.
This phase can be associated with excitement and/or disarray. The seeker can be at a good place in his or her life and thus be very excited about his or her newfound faith and the adventure of embarking on a spiritual path, feeling the urge or need for guidance. Then again, a seeker can be at a challenging place or a place of disillusionment in his or her life, and thus feel overwhelmed by
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important decisions to make or by a life that is falling apart, which can all fill the seeker with disarray or desperation. The nature of the accompaniment is facilitation.
The aim of this phase is for the accompanist asfacilitator to initiate facilitation by providing a personal space that permits communication, which in turn leads to
learning through self-discovery. The accompanist as facilitator will apply his or
her interpersonal skills to create this space that permits communication in the form of the seekers sharing their life stories. Sharing their life stories leads to a learning experience through self-discovery. At this point, either the accompanist as facilitator or the seeker may decide not to commit to the journey. The accompanist as facilitator may, for instance, discern that the seeker will benefit more from therapy at this stage, and the seeker may feel that the context is too cumbersome for such a commitment. The accompanist as facilitator will validate all the seeker’s experiences while also fostering and sustaining a hopeful outlook.
5.9.2 Phase 2: Facilitating silence
The aim of this phase is to facilitate silence. This process will be facilitated by means of a retreat experience in the tradition of the retreat movement. The seeker will, for a period of time, stay in a retreat centre, preferably a secluded place in nature, to experience silence. At this time, the seeker will practise
abstinence from all outward stimulation as well as inward noise to achieve
stillness. In achieving stillness, the seeker will experience a change in consciousness in awakening to the presence of God.
The accompanist as facilitator will fulfil the role of a retreat master during this phase. This means that he would create the flow of the retreat and attend to all the retreatants. Usually it is a small group of people for the purpose of achieving stillness and intimacy. The seekers will spend their time not talking, except with the retreat master. The seekers will also abstain from any electronic stimuli. The process of Phase 2 involves the practice of abstinence from outward stimuli. The seekers will furthermore spend prolonged periods sitting together in silence. This
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takes them to a place where they can practise inner silence. The entire process of creating solitude sensitises them to their inner worlds. Becoming aware of the inner noise in one’s life can be a very daunting experience. Keating (2008:78) distinguishes between five levels of thought in consciousness. The first aspect of experiencing silence is to become aware of one’s thoughts. Thoughts allude to the sensation of awareness. Seekers are encouraged to observe without judgment. Some of the material can be very upsetting, such as past trauma. Keating (2008:95) refers to this unexpected suffering from unresolved issues as the “unclouding of the consciousness”. These personal issues need to be addressed. The accompanist as facilitator’s role during such an experience is to contain the seeker’s emotions. Being aware of inner noise means that the seeker is still busy on the inside and does not yet experience real silence. The seeker has to move through this noise by sitting it out. At this stage, a meditative practice of either concentration or receptivity can be introduced to assist the seeker. Such a practice can lead to stillness where the inner world comes to rest. Achieving stillness is seen as a gift and not so much as an achievement.
This leaves the seeker with a change in the form of consciousness; a new self- awareness arises. An experience of God is always an experience of the self. After coming out of silence at the end of the retreat, the seekers share their experiences in the group. The experience of silence usually has two sides to it. God is experienced as loving and always present, causing the seekers to adjust their views of God from being angry, suspicious and unhappy with us. An experience of the true self that is centred in God leads to an awareness of a separate (false) self. This new awareness is the main material to focus on in shaping a new view of God, of oneself, and of the world. This is what lies at the heart of the transformational process that Newman (2010:n.p.) describes as a process of becoming more of oneself, of finding greater meaning in life and of reaching a greater degree of connectedness with other people and the world.
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5.9.3 Phase 3: Integration
The seeker emerges from the previous phase with a newfound experience of silence and a desire to integrate silence as a way of life. The aim of Phase 3 is to integrate silence into their lifestyles by means of combining and incorporating faith and learning.
To facilitate this phase, the accompanist as facilitator will provide a safe space in the community and assist the seeker in creating a personal space for the daily practice of silence. The seekers combine and incorporate the contemplative and active life by committing to refocus their lives.
5.9.4 Phase 4: Partnership
During the previous phase, the seeker established a personal rhythm in practicing silence by him- or herself and in moving back from the place of silence into life – action. This denotes a way of life by refocusing of the seeker’s life as well as a
commitment to live life with a renewed attitude. The seeker receives support,
encouragement and wisdom from other people who are on the same journey. The seeker reaches a point where he or she can start giving to others who could benefit from his or her growth and experience. In this instance, the role of the accompanist as facilitator is primarily to assist the seeker in finding his or her niche for service that is in keeping with the seeker’s gift and abilities. The cycle is completed once the seeker starts giving back. This is, however, not the end of the journey for the seeker. By way of the giving-back process, the newfound way of life is enforced and established, resulting in further growth and expansion of consciousness. It remains a lifelong journey of ever-expanding awareness. The seeker blends silence and the active life in an integrating lifestyle.
The terminus of the facilitation process can take place in a few ways. The seeker can become an accompanist as facilitator who at first would need supervision. The original facilitator can agree to the role of supervisor, or the new facilitator can find someone else, which would mean the end of the initial facilitator-seeker relationship. The seeker could request an ongoing trust relationship to which the
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facilitator can agree if so desired. The seeker can find his or her new role in the community. The accompanist as facilitator would, however, clarify the relationship and the seeker will agree to it. Both the accompanist as facilitator and the seeker have grown through this experience.