What I do now...
Now that I use sexual framing it is actually advantageous for me NOT to kiss her until the car ride home. It builds anticipation and sexual tension to talk dirty, fill her mind with dirtiness and let it build. I WILL tease by getting real close to her like I'm about to kiss her and then not do it. I'll also talk in her ear a lot for the closeness and heat in her ear.
Which brings me to another point. If you are talking in her ear and she presses her cheek to yours, she wants to be kissed.
One way to know if you're out of lock-step in terms of sexual escalation and comfort
is if she says things like, "Don't you want to know anything about me?" or "I hardly know you." - throttle back and run some more comfort.
The rest of the logistical info can be found here.
VERY quick pull hence the LMR. With that quick of a pull I'd suggest doing a lot of sexual teasing via push/pull. Pull her in and kiss her then push her away... talk normal... then do that stuff I told you about that makes it seem like SHE is seducing you with her mannerisms.
~ Captain Jack ~ Sinn on Qualification:
Bait:
If you have a proper conversational ratio, meaning that she is speaking about 40% of the time by now, she should be giving you things about herself that you can qualify her for.
You can also qualify arbitrarily by telling the entire group that they are cool or fun.
When she has not given you reasons to qualify her and you can tell she is attracted, you will want to bait her to tell you cool things about herself. You can do this through the use of questions or statements.
In the beginning you want to make the hoops small and innocuous.
Small hoops are any question that presents a stereotype that a woman wants to be seen as.
She should be able to answer yes to this question with little or no thinking. Some examples are “ Are you adventurous, Are you smart, are you a good friend?”
Medium hoops require a little more thinking and are actually where you will find out if your qualification is taking or not. Some examples are “what nationality are you? What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s here that a woman can if uninterested stop the qualification by not answering or giving a slow answer such a s” I’m a mutt.”
If she is making an effort to answer the question, you need to reward her.
Large hoops are blatantly qualifying questions where she will realize she is qualifying herself but do it anyway because she has already invested earlier.
Any question can be turned into a statement fairly easily. For example let’s say I want to find out what nationality a girl is. I could ask, “What nationality are you?” Or I can say, “ You look very German.”
Hook:
And wait for her to either agree or disagree. You get the exact same information, at which point you need to give her an indicator of interest or compliment if you want to be
normal.
Reel:
Qualification will be the first point in the interaction where you can start to hit on the girl.
So as soon as she answers the question, we reward her with a compliment. For example “ OMG you’re German! I love German girls, my ex-fiancé was German and we went over there and traced her whole family tree. It’s such a cool culture.
The compliment should be non-generic and non-physical. The more in-depth and specific you can be, the more qualified she will feel.
Rapport Question: Try to find out what is cool about the girl relating to the qualification/her answer. The more actual interest you can show here the better.
Release (Tease)*:
You DON”T need to release every time. In fact if you follow this cycle dogmatically the girl will even notice it. You may even have girls respond to I can’t talk to you by saying ok.
The key to releasing is to do it ONLY when a woman feels uncomfortable with you hitting on her. If she is accepting your compliments and likes them then there is NO reason to release it and it will seem fake.
The best way to release is to throw in a non-sequitor tease. Something along the lines of “ Too bad your such a dork!” The point of a release is to pop the bubble of tension that has been created by hitting on her. This makes her more comfortable as you have released the tension created by hitting on her. But remember you don’t have to do it every time. Only when she appears uncomfortable with you hitting on her. Generally with a bigger IOI.
Another way of releasing tension on smaller hoops (Which get smaller IOIs BTW) is to structure a challenge to her quality.
PUA: Are you adventurous?
Girl: Yeah Totally
PUA: Awesome I love adventurous people. There’s just so much more fun. What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done? Don’t say running with scissors.
Girl: One time I went skydiving
CJ teleconference
You want them to do most of the talking
Pick a target. Engage group first. Then give a little more attention to the target.
Teasing establishes a male-female dynamics, especially if you tease them in a way that you won’t tease a guy.
Male-female dynamic frames then sexual frame.
Most of the teases in community are male-female frames.
Remove worries!!!
Open, Vibe, tease, mini isolate, strawberry field,
2-3 minutes of normal conversation (maintain the sexual frame)
quick qualification – What nationality are you? What do you do for fun when you are not out at bars, hitting on a guy like me? (smile)
After qualification, you can have normal conversation. 60-40 her, you conversation ratio or even 70-30.
After qualification, and after about 5 minutes of conversation, you have to let her know that you reward her for being real. (“you know you are very interesting person,”
“Hmmm, I think I like you.”) then time bridge.
Time Bridge for 4 days in advance (i.e. Friday/Saturday then time bridge for Thursday but bring them out before the time bridge)
If it goes stale, just move on.
Pre suppositions - Women want sex
- Nobody remembers what happens tonight.
- Only focus on positive.
- Everyone is basically out looking for approval. Person who is out giving approval is high value.
- Baseline is that it’s numbers game and it’s a numbers game that you can get better at.
- Every interaction creates a reference point and sets that don’t go as you have planned are more valuable than the one that do.
Hard qualifiers – she must be pretty hooked. If a girl is hot, use it.
Shift questions and body, and attention to the target.
When you are talking to the target, step back in a way that she would have a back to her friends. – less monitoring of her response – mini isolation.
You can also bait her into qualifying herself. “You know, you seem interesting….not like those kind of girls who are judgmental or haven’t seen a lot of what the world has to offer…”
In a two set, have the obstacle qualify the target. Say to the obstacle, “Hey, your friend seems cool…what does she do besides come to a bar and pick up guys?” – robs the target of her response potential… take a way the validation – builds tension.
Through out the process, you are removing layers so they can respond real to you.
Time bridge every single sets.
Concentrate on three sets.
If you are talking to a girl about 30 minutes before closing time (after time bridge set), say, “Shit….it’s already 430. I am having such a great time, I don’t want the night to end.” Gage her response.
“You know what….I am going to my place and put on a movie and grabbing a drink….
You should come along.”
Parade first three sets then watch the response from other girls.
It’s all about freeing her sexuality.
Approach machine. You need more references. 25 more sets.
Sinn:
Oh funny sidenote as she's begging me to call her as i walk her to her ride, I say " I really want to have sex with you so of course I'm going to call you! But even if we don't you're awesome and I want us to be friends...
Sexcalation
I wanted to write a post about the idea of sexual escalation.
There is a major difference between escalating touching and escalating the
increasingly sexual nature of the interaction. In the classic MM model of seduction, a premium is placed on the idea of maintaining higher social value at the expense of direct sexualizing of the interaction. This is because guys buy into the completely bullshit idea of " The Seven Hour Rule". That some magical bell goes off in a
woman's head when 420 minutes have passed and all of a sudden you guys end up in the bedroom and sex just happens. or the seduction is mutual as it's sometimes explained.
Unfortunately this just doesn't correlate to real world situations. In the real world it
is very possible to have sex with women within 30 mins if you know how to recognize the signs and escalate sexually in a comfortable manner.
The key to this for me is the idea of letting the girl know you're trying to fuck her but you like her even if you guys don't have sex. My overall frame which I verbalize to women after there is a mutual attraction (Meaning that I have already gotten her attracted to me and qualified her for things other than her looks) is that I like them, they're adorable and I want to hang out with them. But I'm always going to be trying to fuck them. But even if we don't have sex it won't bother me. And this prompts congruence tests, girls will say things like " You're not going to sleep with me" or my favorite " You're not going to sleep with me tonight!". I love the second one because it assumes we're going to sleep together at some point past tonight(Passive
acceptance of my frame). This is good I've induced a congruence test based on getting her into bed. If I can pass these tests, I gain value sexually. My responses are always the same " We'll see" . Then I tease her for liking me. This creates a great push/pull dynamic where I'm chasing her by trying to get her into bed and then pushing her away for liking me. Thus creating a space where only a sexual relationship can happen. Combined with sexual framing, this is lethal.
Once this frame and push/pull has been created I can now over-escalate ( By getting too sexual, Escalating too much in the venue.. etc) and blame it on her. After all I told her what was going to happen. Now I can also dismiss her and she will stay. I can say " Seriously this is sooo bad and I'm not going to stop. Do yourself a favor and don't let me undercook your muffins". It's a weird phrase which plays on confusion. And I did steal it from an Atmosphere song.
The key to avoiding being a horny guy or pushy is to constantly dismiss her. You need to make the escalation and then warn her about you. I talk about how I'm not boyfriend material and will fuck her sister, break up with her before major holidays, etc... But I am charming. I also mercilessly tease girls about how much they like me and how they are making a bad decision. But it might be bad in a good way.
This is one part of how I create a sexual interaction faster than anyone not named Captain Jack. The second part is using sexual framing to name and bring out the parts of her that want to have sex then and there, while shrinking the parts of her that are socially conditioned to not be a slut.
Hope that clears some things up for everyone.
Hit me up with Comments!
Meet up:
First of all stop calling dates d2s. I never really understood that. It was like somehow if we called them something else it doesn't set the "dating" frame. What's wrong with the dating frame? Women do sleep with guys they go on dates with. Just this Sun I had a girl tell me she never sleeps with guys on the first date. After I had just fucked her on our first date where we went to dinner... There's nothing inherently wrong with the dating frame. There's something wrong with the " I'm trying to impress you"
frame. Anyway enough of my ranting about semantics. I just think the terminology is really weird and I was always waiting for one of the community guys I used to hang out with to refer to his girlfriend coming over as a day 46.
The most important thing in my mind about dates is where they start. There's only one correct answer here and that's at your place. Now this assumes you live near where your date is going to happen. If you don't something is wrong and you should plan a date closer to your place. There are always cool neighborhood bars, coffee shops, restaurants etc, near where you live. You just need to get out and actually find them.
So you've set up your date( Which could and should be a separate post in and of itself) and you tell her to meet you at your place " Call me when you get there and I'll come out." Then when they call I come outside but whoops I forgot my wallet.
That means we have to go back up. It's vitally important that you get the girl used to her being in your place without you trying to make a move on her. My wing Captain Jack alternatively tries to escalate when they come in and if he can't close them then( Which is rare for him) he takes them on the date. That's another strategy though he does have super powers so mere mortals should use that at their own risk. Back to the previous point showing a woman your home takes away the fear of the unknown for her and it will be far easier to get her back to your place later.
The next thing EVERY date needs is multiple venues. The more place you spend time with a woman in the longer it will feel like she has known you. My particular date goes through up to 7 different locations not counting my place. The best thing is none of them are more than 3 blocks from my place. This is how you can do dinner dates without setting up a traditional dinner date. In the middle of doing something else just casually mention how hungry you are and suggest stopping in somewhere for a bite.
Now while you're on the date you should be filling in the empty canvas of your life.
Now is the time to talk about your hopes and dreams, the things you are passionate about, your friends, and family, hobbies etc.. It's time to literally be yourself. One of the things every girl will think when she's on a date with you is " How would my life be different if this guy were my boyfriend"
So you want to make sure you paint a vivid picture of your life. I tend to rant about things because that's how I am. I also run my grounding sequence on my first date as I know I'll have her undivided attention for at least 25 minutes.
You asked if you should keep it superficial or get deeper. My answer is that you should get deep but be fun! A lot of guys will make the mistake of neglecting attraction entirely on the date. You need to remind her periodically of why she was attracted to you in the first place. Fun is the most important factor in all of your dealings with women but especially with dates. If she's having fun whatever you are actually doing doesn't matter. Conversely if she isn't having fun you could be doing her favorite thing in the world and she'll hate it and you. Keep things playful and flirty the entire way but don't be afraid to demonstrate your passion and the things you actually care about.
Kissing- You asked if you should kiss or not. You should be kissing the girl as soon as you think you can. If you made out when you met her then you have to be able to tell when she hugs you hello if you can kiss her right away. Usually I will hold off on kissing in the beginning to build some more sexual tension for later.
Tomor I'll finish up this article by talking about how to build sexual tension on a date, how to escalate physically, how to get her back to your house at the end and much much more.
Same Sinn time, same Sinn station
How to build sexual tension, escalate physically and get her back to your place.
Dates part 2: How to build sexual tension, escalate physically and get her back to your place.
On the last part of this mailbag , I talked about how to set up dates and what the overall vibe should be. This time we’re going to discuss how to escalate things further.
The most important thing about building sexual tension, and getting her back to your place is breaking the physical barriers early on. You need to re-establish touching as soon as you see her. When you see her you need to give her a big hug and then push her away. You want to retain the reset model of touching where you break all physical contact after every escalation. But you don’t want to waste any time in escalating the touching. You should be holding hands when you’re walking or driving to the first venue. You also want to look for random opportunities to kiss her if it didn’t feel right at the beginning.
One of my favorite ways to build sexual tension is through the use of the almost kiss.
I learned this from Future and it is still my favorite way to kiss a girl. Somewhere on my date I will look at her while she’s talking I’ll say “ You know it’s really hard for me to pay attention to what you’re saying when I keep thinking about kissing you. But I know we’re not ready for that yet so I tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going
I learned this from Future and it is still my favorite way to kiss a girl. Somewhere on my date I will look at her while she’s talking I’ll say “ You know it’s really hard for me to pay attention to what you’re saying when I keep thinking about kissing you. But I know we’re not ready for that yet so I tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going