The unfortunate thing about Losers is that they often approach us in disguise. Notwithstanding their own inability to win, they often create a
“façade of success” with which they hope to impress others.
Have you ever know anyone who professes to be an “expert” on matters that interest you? You should know at the outset that true Winners do not think of themselves as experts. They know that living and learning is an ongoing process. But losers like to feel they have “arrived.” They also
like to convince others of it, and masquerading, as an expert is one way in which they attempt to do this.
What can you learn from a pseudo “expert”? Usually, all the reasons why something is impractical or impossible to do. Avoid "pseudo-experts"(not to be confused with highly experienced and knowledgeable people who stand ready and willing to assist you in whatever way they can.) It may take you a while to see through this particular disguise, but in time it will become obvious.
Another way in which a Loser may disguise himself is through the suggestion of wealth. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is part of what this masquerade is all about. Living in a house you can’t afford, driving a car it is breaking your back to buy insurance and registration for, being seen in all the “right” places and paying exorbitant fees for the privilege. This is what status-conscious Losers often feel compelled to do. It is indeed unfortunate that so many others are suckered into their fraudulent lifestyle, actually envying these people for what they appear to have.
What DO they have? Basically, a high-pressure, stress-filled life that is almost certain to drive them to an early grave.
In addition to the foregoing examples, Losers have many other ways of disguising themselves. Sometimes they do it through Size and Volume. I have know a few corporate executive types who were extremely intimidating to their subordinates because of their tall, portly appearance, and because they spoke in a loud, booming voice. I have also known people who compensated for a lack of height by placing the desk in their office on a small podium. In front of the desk there could usually be found a velvet couch, which was specifically designed, for “sinking into.” Imagine how it might feel to talk with a tall, fat, loudly demonstrative “boss” while you were sitting on a piece of furniture that
gave you the sensation of having fallen down a hole. How would you feel about asking for a promotion and a raise in such a setting? How well do you think you would be able to debate an issue or defend a moral principle?
Oddly enough, the really great intimidators of this world tend to feel even less secure than the people they are constantly intimidating. That is their main reason for wanting power and control. Intimidators believe that whatever they don’t control, controls them. And perhaps they are right. If they tend to be drawn to others like themselves (which is often the case), everybody is sure to be playing the same game.
Another Loser type you should make it a point to avoid is the Ego Tripper. This person rarely, if ever, wears a disguise since he is so insanely proud of WHO and WHAT he thinks he is! Ego Trippers generally make a point of bending your ear on how well they have their
“act together.” They always talk in terms of megabucks, and are constantly working on the biggest deal that ever was! They are namedroppers, of course, and will try to impress you with their original paintings, with the labels on their suits – with everything they own and everyone they know. Are you impressed? NO? Good! That means you haven’t been taken in by yet another Loser.
Loser types come in so many different varieties that it would be virtually impossible to list them all. Even so, it is essential that your recognize them so you can avoid them.
Do you presently have any unpaid negative advisors in your life? These are people who are in the habit of criticizing your ideas and undermining your dreams. To hear them tell it, everything has already been tried. If others couldn’t do it, then neither can you. If allowed to, these
individuals will happily become the self-appointed guardians of your life. The object, of course, is to see to it that you are as firmly entrenched in a rut of frustration and hopelessness as they are. Watch out for such people!
Do you know anyone who is particularly adept at making you feel guilty about doing what you choose to do with your life? Such people will frequently remind you that since you have certain obligations and responsibilities in life, you can hardly afford to go off on some tangent.
To their way of thinking, a steady salary is obviously what is needed to insure the comfort and security of those you love. In this, we have yet another Loser philosophy. Where is it written that you can’t gradually phase yourself into a new career as you continue to work at something that provides the basic essentials of life?
IF OTHERS THINK YOU’RE CRAZY, MAYBE YOU’RE