HOW TO ACTUALLY ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS
3. Replace all negative statements and thoughts with positive ones
In our culture it is totally acceptable to whine and talk about how inferior we are, how we keep getting bad breaks, etc.. Our friends usually just nod their heads and try to give us comfort. The problem is that all of this negative talking and thinking is very destructive. If we expect negative results and events in our lives, we'll probably have them.
I understand this because I have been the king of whiners for most of my life. However, once I began replacing my negative thoughts and
statements with positive ones, my life improved dramatically. I instantly had more friends, and these new friends were also positive people who I really enjoy. My daily life became much more satisfying and enjoyable.
The exercise works like this: Let's say a thought pops into your head like "I could never be good enough to sing professionally." You need to counteract that poison with a statement like "I am a powerful, successful singer whom audiences love." Say it out loud. Make any statement you
like as long as you start with "I am" or "I have," and as long as it's a positive statement.
You may feel a bit uncomfortable the first few times you do this, but after awhile you'll probably begin to enjoy it. It feels much better to
verbalize your dream than to talk about how bad things are or will be.
Remember, you'll generally get what you expect, so expect the best!
If you can dream it, you can do it!
Last week as I was windsurfing under the Golden Gate Bridge, waves crashing on the rocks behind me, I realized: Hey, I'm actually doing it!
Eight years earlier, I had a belief that I could never windsurf.
Someone told me that if I didn't start in my early twenties, I could never learn and I believed them. But here I was, racing along, jumping waves, and shouting with joy.
The first few times I tried windsurfing, I wasn't very good, but it was so much fun that I kept doing it. Eventually I improved, through
experience and lessons.
That taught me something: I can learn most anything, if I find someone to teach me, and then keep doing it. That sounds so simple it's boring. But there is one more element here. I kept windsurfing because it was fun! If I hadn't loved it so much I would have quit. those quiet voices in our minds and hearts, and then try it, the rest will take care of itself. The hardest part for most of us is listening to the ideas, and not killing them with negative thoughts like: "I could never do that," "I'm too old," "I could never get the money," "people won't like me," etc.
When an idea comes up, nurture it like a tiny flower. If you stomp on all your seedlings, you'll have no garden.
You won't be able to figure out all the angles and outcomes before
you start. So just start, and you'll discover solutions at each turn of the road. The universe has an amazing way of solving problems for those who jump in with both feet.
When I quit my safe corporate job to pursue my singing career, I had no idea how I would be earning a living after my savings ran out. But things always worked out. One opportunity led to another, and I was forced to develop skills I would have never developed under the safe umbrella of "The Corporation."
The more mistakes the better
Once there was a young man who desired success but had no idea how to achieve it. He had a neighbor who lived up the hill who was very successful. He owned houses, boats, planes and corporations. This young man wanted to be rich like his neighbor, so he decided he'd pay him a visit and find out how he became so successful.
When he arrived at the man's mansion, he was invited into the study.
The young man began his questions. "How did you achieve your high level of success?"
Being a man of few words, the older man replied, "Good decisions."
"How did you learn to make good decisions?" the younger man asked.
"Experience," the older gentleman answered calmly.
Feeling somewhat frustrated, he almost shouted, "Well how did you get experience?"
He looked the younger man straight in the eye, paused for what seemed like an eternity and spoke these two simple and powerful words.
"Bad decisions."
This left the younger man totally confused. "How could you achieve so much by making bad decisions?"
Tho older man replied with great enthusiasm, "Bad decisions are my greatest teachers. They hurt, emotionally and financially. Mistakes cause me to do things differently the next time. We aren't born with all the answers. We can rely on other peoples wisdom some of the time, but if we are entering uncharted territory, we have to risk, fall and learn. There's no
other way! All great discoveries come from venturing into unexplored territory. You cannot achieve greatness by following someone's safe path."
The younger man left the mansion somewhat dazed, but relieved. He realized that all the effort he had been using to try to be perfect was in vain.
Mistakes were great teachers, and he vowed to live life in a way where mistakes were frequent and honored. The younger man grew to be happy and successful.
From now on, 20 mistakes per day
I've lived much of my life with the deadly disease called perfectionism. In everything I did, I had to do it perfectly, or I would feel like a failure. What ended up happening is I would always make mistakes and then beat myself up for not being perfect. It was a hellish life and I avoided doing new things in which I was sure to make mistakes.
One day I was on the phone with one of my most supportive friends, an 89 year old woman of great wisdom. I was complaining about my latest mistakes and how bad I felt about making them. What she told me changed my life. She said "John, I'm giving you the assignment of making at least 20 mistakes per day. This is to be your goal and when you achieve that goal you have succeeded."
I felt relieved after our conversation. The pressure was off. I didn't have to be perfect anymore. I looked at mistakes as being good.
Now when I make my first mistake of the day, I say to myself "Good job, only 19 more to go." I feel light and successful instead of heavy, depressed and self-berating. I am willing to do more new and scary things.
I no longer feel the intense fear I used to feel. Life is much better!
So now, I am giving you the assignment of making at least 20 mistakes per day. When you've done that, you've had a good day, full of risking and living.
Do you want to be comfortable or do you want to be happy?
While you're working towards your goals you'll probably experience alot of discomfort. It isn't easy breaking out of a safe lifestyle. You will be
continually challenging all parts of your being. But you'll be happy!
Most people choose comfort over happiness. It's human nature.
However, comfort becomes very uncomfortable when a dream is being crushed. I know this from personal experience. Go for your dream and you'll find happiness and satisfaction!