As a researcher, I also started in my second year of data collection to discuss my research with the research community that I became a part of. After a presentation to research students and staff, I commented as follows:
9.12.99
Presentation to research students and research staff:
My presentation went relatively well. [...] Some key issues that 1 have become aware of through students' and comments are:
• Need to narrow down my perspective again,
• Need to establish validity and triangulation processes (via quantitative data? Via comparative interviews with non-bilingual groups? - not sure how to do this!!)
• Need to be more careful with the use of some educational terminology, e.g. 'empowerment'.
• Need to define 'thinking skills' - what are thinking skills - can 1 base my own definition of thinking skills on CASE terminology [...]
I did this based on my limited experience as a researcher at the time. As a result of my colleagues' comments, 1 mention once again and 'validity'. As 1 have explained in section 2, I have opted for a contextual analysis of my data and against using formalised triangulation processes as my research informs
my teaching and vice versa. Due to this my practice in my BFC classroom would have been difficult and highly biassed. Instead, 1 discuss this positioning of myself as teacher-researcher openly when 1 write as follows:
2.1.00
I now need to try to work out the differences between AR [Action Research] and ethnography - this will be crucial for the development of my philosophical framework as 1 need to position myself or my research in this regard.
Before doing this, will have (or I ought to?) finish the transcript of the last focus group interview 1 did have this out of the way.
Perhaps, the most difficult thing about the PhD- and school work is that it is so complex, i.e. working on different levels and working on different strands of the PhD all the time. 1 guess need to prioritise the things I need to do:
i) finish transcript,
ii) look at AR -ethnography and where I am
iii) look at interface language acquisition, iv) try to define thinking skills,
v) plan for the next set of interviews,
vi) try to define bilingual teaching and learning, vii) redo outline of PhD-framework,
get on with various strands of PhD-reading.
I point out in this entry the need for positioning myself and my research within 'my philosophical framework.' This is also reflected in my description of the 'different levels' and 'different strands' of my teaching and research. the following entry, I continue to myself as teacher-researcher when addressing ethnography and Action Research:
[...]
Regarding my teaching and the students' learning I'm wondering where ethnography and AR fit in - I feel in both camps: AR being what I do to a certain extent through keeping this diary and ethnography being me as a researcher, i.e. taking a step back and looking at my classroom practice from outside or as a participant observer ... which is again me shifting back inside. 1 don't feel that I need to belong distinctly to one of the 2 schools as there is a considerable overlap. However, I guess I need to be clear about what the overlapping elements are and where I'm moving between these 2 paradigms.
I feel 1 ought to approach the distinction between AR and ethnography from my own positioning as a researcher who is a teacher at the same time and who observes his own teaching. This could be the clue to further sort out my theoretical research framework by starting from my own practice as both a teacher and researcher.
I explore my positioning as a teacher-researcher here by considering my classroom actions as both teacher and researcher. These teacher-researcher roles are complex and difficult to maintain at all times as is illustrated in the following diary entry:
20.3.00 (morning before school)
I feel that not very good at keeping my diary at the moment. Although I have a lot of things to write about, but then I always feel I have more inunediately important things to do. I have to write tonight though in order to keep track of how I am progressing/if I am progressing both in my teaching and research.
20.3.00 (evening)
What a strange day! John [...] doesn't seem to be willing to cooperate at all in any form with me or Leonie [my head of department]. 1 am quite disgusted with his behaviour (spitting chewing gum at Caroline) and find it quite difficult to be positive about things in general. Regarding my researcher-teacher roles I guess I am once again stuck in this role of teacher having to deal with all kinds of minor discipline problems.
At certain points during my data collection, I was more of a teacher than a researcher. For example, I had to fulfil my pastoral duties by dealing with incidents as the one described above. These incidents point at the context in which I conducted my research: a classroom where the learners learn non-linguistic content through French, but also a classroom with its occasional problems. I go on to address the between teaching and research in my classroom context in the following entry:
27.03.00
I must admit I find it slighdy difficult to see the relation between theory and practice or research and teaching, but that's due to the fact that my research only becomes relevant via good and varied teaching. The bell has just gone. seeing two students; therefore must stop.
Reflecting about the relation between theory and practice I point out once again that 'my research only becomes relevant via good and varied teaching': the question of validity seems to resolve itself by having BFC lessons that allow for theorising about learning content in a foreign language. 1 further address my roles as teacher and researcher a day later:
28.3.00
If I look at my own planning 1 seem to have become a lot more systematic and realistic about what 1 can achieve and also about how to make content accessible in French, I believe at this early level the clue is to keep the language extremely controlled and organised, but also with room for extending the more able students.
What am 1 at the moment? Researcher or teacher? I guess I'm a bit of both all the time by now - with the focus shifting from my researcher to my teacher role as I feel I need to.
My research is informing me about my teaching and my teaching is informing me about my research.
By now, it becomes clear that I carmot differentiate between my teacher-researcher roles. Due to my research being a case study of my BFC classroom, it would be absurd to attempt a clear-cut distincfion between the two roles as I am 'a bit of both all the time.' Describing rather vaguely how I shift between the two roles points at the different demands on me as a teacher and as a researcher. However, as I stress once again 'my research is informing me about my teaching and my teaching is informing me about my research.'
So far, I have mainly looked at my teacher-researcher roles from the perspective of how far my teaching informs me about my research. The reflective process as teacher-researcher also works the other way round: My research informs me about my teaching.
17.4.00
1 wonder how relevant my research really is for my teaching. It certainly makes me reflect more about how and what I teach, but does the construction of theory via a PhD really move foreign language learning and teaching forward? Ultimately, I'd need to be able to apply my findings in various settings - is research a valid option for doing this at all?
I Stress here how my research forces me to 'reflect more about how and what I teach.' I go on in the same entry to question the impact of my research by describing the process as the 'constmction of theory.' The answer to this question might be in the question itself by considering the constmction of theory as a means for understanding what might not be understood as clearly otherwise. Of course, the of findings in other classrooms would further contribute to the validation of my theories that I have developed through my research. However, this validation process goes far beyond the realms of this particular piece of research.
In the previous sections, I have examined my development as teacher-researcher between September 1998 and June 2000. Understanding my positioning in my research is necessary as I was an integral part of the data collection process: I
started both as an NQT and as a new, inexperienced researcher in the BFC. Initially, I tried to keep my teacher and researcher roles separate. Due to my positioning within the research (and also due to the practical limitations of data collection whilst teaching) I joined the two roles being more of one than the other according to my needs. This combination of roles has allowed me to reflect both on my researcher and on my teacher roles in relation to each other. In the following section, I present general features of my theory of practice.