Respect: “Do You Respect Me Enough to Deliver on the Commitments You Make?”

Trust and respect are closely related and have a reciprocal effect. It’s impossible to trust someone we don’t respect, or who is not respectable, but it’s very easy and only natural to trust someone we do respect, and who we believe respects us. So, we should endeavor to earn the respect of our customers through our attitudes and our behavior, but also by showing respect to them.

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If you want your customer to trust you, or to take a risk with you, please remember that . . .

Your customer can only trust you to the degree to which they believe you respect them.

If they don’t think you respect them, how can they possibly trust you? It’s only logical that if they believe you don’t respect them, then you probably won’t respect the commitments that you make to them, either.

For this reason, I am convinced that demonstrating respect is the most important thing we can do to foster the right environment for trust. In order to demonstrate our respect for our customer, we should:

Show Respect for Their Time

If we show up late, or talk too long, or don’t call at a time they sched-uled to hear from us, we are showing disrespect for their time, and thus a lack of respect in general. If there is one mistake we make too often it’s not ending meetings on time. We have to break this habit. Period.

Talking on and on past the time we both agreed we would end says to your customer, “I care more about what I am saying than I care about you.” The major cause of meetings that run too long is selling in the

“broadcast” mode. We simply have to quit broadcasting! Later on, once you get so good at the diagnostic approach that your customer just won’t stop talking at the designated ending time, just point to your watch and—when they take a breath—say, “I’m good to keep going if you are.”

Show Respect for Their Ideas

If we are interrupting our customer, or finishing their sentences for them, or worse yet don’t give them the chance to talk at all, we appar-ently don’t respect or even care what they think. Now, we might have

just talked incessantly because we were nervous, but it really doesn’t matter why we did it. It still shows a lack of respect. Learn to get your customer talking and ask questions about what they say. More on this later in this chapter.

Show Respect for Their Position

We all want to sell to the CEO. But let’s recognize that whomever we are talking to, their position is important to them. If we are interview-ing the director of marketinterview-ing, for example, chances are she went to col-lege and maybe even earned an MBA to do what she does. She may have only been with her current company three years, but to go from ana-lyst to director in that time might be a major accomplishment at her company.

Too often, in our haste to get to “the decision maker,” we alienate the “gatekeepers” along the way. Please take my word for it; don’t learn the hard way. Show the respect that each person deserves regardless of their title. When you talk with an executive assistant, treat them with the same respect and dignity you would show their boss. They may not carry the title, but an assistant to a top executive is likely one of the sharpest, most organized, and professional people at that company. One would have to be to earn that job! So, demonstrate respect for their position, no matter what it is.

Show Respect for Their Space and Their Property

When you walk into your customer’s office, wait for them to show you where to sit. Be careful not to take their chair. Don’t get too close to people. Some people get very uncomfortable when you crowd their per-sonal space. Keep your conduct professional no matter how long you’ve known your customer.

Respect your customer’s property and possessions. The things on their desk or office shelves wouldn’t be there if they didn’t have special meaning or value. Don’t pick them up, or even ask to pick them up. You can still admire them or point to them without touching them. I remember one time asking about (without touching) an old slide rule

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sitting on the edge of a customer’s desk. It happened to belong to his father, who had passed away earlier that year. It led us into a nice con-versation about family and genealogy. I can only imagine what would have happened if I had been insensitive enough to pick it up and start messing with it.

Nobody likes it when we touch their “stuff,” when we mess with the heater controls in their car, or push the things on their desk out of the way to make room for our PC. Be careful, and show the proper respect for your customer’s space and personal property.

Show Respect for Their Views and Beliefs

Remove from your language and behavior all words and actions that your customer might find offensive. We’ve all made mistakes, but we should try to avoid as many as possible. Here are just a few ideas to consider:

• Be sensitive to religious beliefs by becoming aware of the holidays and rituals your client might, or might not, observe. Don’t assume anything; just behave in a manner that shows the proper respect for their beliefs or customs, whatever they may be.

• Don’t comment on politics or politically charged news and current events. Your client may not believe the same things you do, and you could offend them very quickly by making fun of a political figure whom they happen to respect and admire, for example.

• Purge all off-color language, jokes, and innuendo from your vocab-ulary, even if it’s “just guys.” The point is not whether they laughed at the joke or not; it’s that highly respectable, and highly respectful, professionals operate on a higher level than that. Do what you want on your own time, but in front of customers, be a consummate professional.