The Emotional Investment Scale
Level 2. She responds to your texts, but the responses are brief, without much
thought, and after lengthy delay. She ignores many of your texts. You get a lot of one-word answers: “Yes”, “Haha” and the death rattle of text game “Lol.” For whatever reason, she is answering some of your texts, but she's just not that into you.
Level 3. She begins responding consistently, and after less delay. Her responses reflect she is putting some thought into them and enjoys your texts. When you suggest a meet-up however you may find she goes dead air, or at best gives a token ok that she will eventually reverse. She's satisfied having you only as a text buddy.
Level 4. She has become emotionally invested, albeit superficially. She is sharing various personal aspects of her life. She qualifies herself. She complies. She appears to be emotionally affected by comments you make. At this point, she may be willing to see you, but there is still a high chance of flaking. In fact, she could seem genuinely excited to agree to a meet, but don’t be surprised when she goes dead air or cancels at the last minute when that time arrives.
Level 5. She is more deeply invested. She suggests the meet up, often giving suggestions. She shares a ton of intimate info about herself, often with long well-composed texts. She is gaming YOU. In this stage, flaking is much less likely.
Recognize that girls being girls, her level of emotional investment may swing back and forth with their fluctuating emotional states. Realize, too, this is all about her
investment of emotions. NOT logical investment, NOT banter. If she’s giving you tons of banter and logical stuff, that’s not the same as real EI.
You would like to move your interactions up the scale to 5 whenever possible, because at that point flaking becomes less likely. You can still get girls to meet up at lower
levels, and nothing is ever a certainty in the dating world, but increasing her investment will tend to lower flaking.
Z Using Investment
There are two sides to this coin. First, you want girls to get invested. But on the flip side, you want to stay at or just below her level of investment. You don't want to be at a 5 when she's at a 2.
Always determine her level of investment from moment to moment, and calibrate your own projected level. In particular, when you open the exchange after to you've first met her, it's important to seem like you are not particularly invested. You then game her to become invested, at which point you can telegraph greater levels of investment. When in doubt, always assume she's at the lower level and work from there; that is, if you're not sure if she's at a 2 or 3, assume it's 2.
How to get girls to invest
1. Give value. Through the concept of reciprocation (read Influence by Cialdini), when you give someone value, they will feel obligated to return value. As they give you more and more value, they find themselves invested in the interaction. For example, if I send a photo of my dog to a girl, she will often text me back a pic of her dog. Don't invest too much too early. Look for evidence she's participating in the exchange of value, and amp up accordingly.
2. Give positive emotions. When something makes you feel good, you put energy into obtaining more of it. Make her feel sexy, horny, happy, excited or stroke her ego.
3. Get her to qualify. Sometimes when a girl says something you like, you'll genuinely reward her for this. But don't validate all of her attempts; some of it shouldn't impress you. When she's letting you know how great she is and you're not biting, she will want to meet up to prove she's as qualified as she says.
4. Get her to comply. Have her open up about herself sexually. Be powerful; if a girl feels you aren't a man of power then she won't comply with you. Gain trust; if she feels you're judgmental or inexperienced with women, she won't be able to trust you
sexually. Before you send a text, ask yourself, “do I feel powerful as a man when I say this sort of thing?” If not, try to feel that power and find a way to use that feeling.
5. DHV (demonstrate high value). If you seem like a sexual prize worth chasing, they will. If you paint yourself as a loser who can't score, she won't bother investing.
6. Build intrigue and tension. Tell a story with your texts, giving her one piece at a time.
Reel her in and then give the punchline after she takes the bait. This is like reading a murder mystery. She feels compelled to keep turning the pages to get to the reveal at the end. In short, she becomes invested in the plot because you've created suspense.
Here's an example. A wing met a girl in a bar and he was having a text exchange after she left. She randomly asked him his age. You can answer this directly, but you're wiser than that, right? Consider this point A, and point C is inviting her out on a date.
How can you create a path from point A to C while building mystery? Watch:
her: U never told me how old u are
him: Guess ur gonna have to find out wednesday...
her: Why wednesday?
him: That's when we're hanging out cutie : ) her: :) Such confidence I like it
7. Push-pull. Especially with sexual intent. Keep them guessing. Show interest, then disinterest. Be dismissive and playfully condescending at times. At one moment seem like you want to fuck her brains out, then the next accuse her of being a bad girl trying
to corrupt you.
8. Preselection. Be non-needy in the way you time your texts. That is, if you go to a club Saturday and then text a girl Sunday at 9am, you're basically telling her you didn't pull. Likewise if you jump through all her hoops and qualify yourself to her, the subtext is you don't get laid a ton. Another more obvious way to indicate preselection is to mention other girls you know, dates you were on, or wild times you simply can't discuss.
9. Look for signs they are seeking rapport, and reward this. If she is mirroring you, then she's trying to seek rapport. If she is offering a lot of intimate details about herself, she is trying to build a connection. This is a good thing. She's becoming invested.
How to appear like you aren't invested 1. Don't always respond right away.
2. Don't answer her questions directly (see the age example above).
3. Dismiss her attempts to qualify. Say “We'll see...”
4. Use poor punctuation. Run sentences together. “I'm bored whatcha doin” as opposed to “I'm bored. Whatcha doin?”
5. Use shorthand. Say “R” in place of “Are.”
6. Don't text her everyday.
7. Keep it simple. Sometimes a ;) gets the point across.
8. Don't ask questions. Make observations and commands. “Wake up!! It's beautiful outside” requires no response and shows little investment.
9. Fear of loss. Give her the sense you may become disinterested or distracted at any moment.
The EIS In Action
Ok, fine, you get that girls can invest emotionally in the text interaction, and you realize certain things inspire investment. Now let's break it down specifically. What tactics should you be using depending on where a girl is along the EIS? And how much of each tactic should you be employing given the level?
Below is a graph that summarizes this. You can refer to it during your exchanges, and use these tools according to her level of investment. First, an explanation of when to use what:
On the Y axis are the tools I use to generate EI, things that compel a girl to invest. On the X axis are the levels, such as moving a girl from level 2 to level 3, and so on. In difficulty, I’d say getting a girl from a 1 to a 2 is most difficult. This is followed by 4 to 5, then 2 to 3. Getting a girl who’s at a 3 to become a 4 is the easiest. I will list each tool, then under each, the column number (1-4).
Give value
Through the theory of reciprocation, if I give value, girls will feel compelled to return value. Once a girl gets in the habit of giving value, she will find herself invested in the interaction.
1. Give a bit of value to start the process of reciprocation. If you give a lot of value, you seem overly invested. If you give no value, there’s no reason for her to either.
2 and 3. If she’s more receptive and returning value, give more value to reward her.
Escalate the value exchange.
4. She’s almost very invested, and by pulling back on the value, you will seem less invested. This is desirable. If you are more invested than she is, she is not compelled to keep investing.
Give positive emotions
You can do this with a simple emoticon, a joke, or turning her on sexually.
1 and 2. Too much of this and you seem to be amusing her, and not yourself. Stay self-amusing, but keep tight reigns on it.
3. Now that she’s getting more invested, adding more positive emotions will compel her to come to you for more.
4. Escalate from simple BT-spiking stuff to seductive stuff. Turn her on.
Get her to qualify
When a girl qualifies herself to you, she is becoming invested.
1. Not applicable. She’s dead air, so she’s not gonna suddenly start qualifying herself to you.
2. She’s not really attracted, so going into qualifying too early will blow you out. You can do it lightly and see how she responds.
3 and 4. If she’s becoming invested, you can amp up the qualifying harder. Get her to qualify about her body and her sexuality.
Get compliance
1 and 2. She’s not that invested, so unlikely to comply. But you can test it out with small hoops that show your power and dominance. Even her responding to your text is her complying.
3 and 4. Make her comply with things like sending you pics of herself, opening up about her sexuality, etc. The ultimate compliance test is her agreeing to meet up.
DHV
Demonstrate you’re a high-value dude.
1. You can make some comments about a fancy club you’re going to, etc. But if you try too hard to DHV it’ll look like you’re trying to impress her (hence too invested).
2-4. Always maintain the frame that you’re high value. As she gets more invested, turn this from generic DHV to sexual DHV. You are the prize, sexually.
Intrigue/tension
Start threads or make comments that compel her to think WTF? and engage in the
interaction.
1-2. A ton of intrigue will often jumpstart a lack-luster exchange or dead air.
3-4. Still good to sprinkle it in, but now you’re gonna stop playing so many indirect games and be more bold and direct with her. If you stay too sketchy while she’s investing, she’ll lose interest.
Push/pull
Challenge is good. Complex wines come from challenging vine conditions. If you don’t challenge women, the results will be bland. Push-pull provides a lot of that challenge (so does intrigue).
1. You can take away your attention, but since she isn’t at all invested, this won’t matter to her. So not relevant.
2. A little gentle pushing and pulling will motivate her to get on board. Too much and she’ll lose interest.
3. Going heavy on the push-pull at times will spike her BT and get her to chase.
4. Back off the push-pull and give her more solid rewards for her high investment. As with intrigue, don’t be too dismissive or you’ll be punishing her investment. Getting chicks a little angry can serve to get them more invested, but this is a high-risk tactic.
Preselection
There is the obvious stuff like talking about girls or dates. Then there is the subtle stuff like being non-needy in how you respond, when you respond, or if you even respond at all to her.
1-2. She doesn’t care all that much that women like you. But being non-needy will give her the feeling you are worthy.
3. She’s getting on board, and hitting preselection will work to drive up her desire to invest.
4. She feels you’re worthy. Talking a lot about other girls will make you look like a player. Just sprinkle it in, and stay non-needy.
Seek rapport
You may detect her attempts to seek rapport, and you may seek rapport. This includes mirroring.
1. She’s not at all invested, so why should you seek rapport? She hasn’t earned it yet.
2-3. If she’s starting to invest, look for signs she’s seeking rapport, and then reward this. Mirror her just a tad to communicate a similar desire.
4. You are now more interested in leading, and less about seeking rapport or mirroring.
You can still build rapport here, but it’s less important.
Fear of loss
If she thinks she’s about to lose a high value man, she’ll work harder to get his investment.
1. She doesn’t care about you, so there is no fear of losing you.
2-3. She may be a little affected by the fear of loss, but it won’t hit very hard.
4. She’s very invested now, so fear of loss can really be amplified. Jealousy is a
subset of preselection but also can be used here; for example you can use this effectively by not answering all her texts at night.
Keep frequency of texts low
Obviously, texting the living crap out of a girl who is not that responsive looks really needy. Calibrate your rate of sending her texts according to her EI.
1-2. She’s not on board. Sending more texts than warranted looks like you’re really invested. Back off.
3. You can start texting more often, again calibrating.
4. She’s very invested, so it doesn’t matter much about your frequency. As long as she’s really invested, you can set the rate of texting and she’ll comply.
Don’t open every day
1-2. Just like above, opening a girl every day when she’s not invested looks needy.
3-4. Not a rule, but sometimes useful to back off and let a day or more pass without texting her.
Don’t answer directly
If she asks a question, you can give a cocky response that doesn’t answer her.
1. Not relevant.
2. When she isn’t invested much, being very dismissive initially lets her know you are far from enamored, and she needs to invest to earn your investment.
3. Now that she’s investing, you can reward her by being more straight-forward and honest. You can still be dismissive here and there, particularly with shit tests.
4. She needs trust to comply, so continuing to be cagey won’t generate that trust.
Poor syntax
You can use lousy grammar and punctuation, shorthand and abbreviations, to let her know you aren’t invested much.
1-2. Use this often. A beautifully composed text gives the impression you put a lot of thought into it. Don’t give her the impression you give a fuck, since she hasn’t earned it.
3. As she invests, you can demonstrate your own investment by using proper syntax.
4. Do whatever you want, based on your personality. She’s invested, so it’s more important at this point to be clear and direct. However way you need to type this to make her feel it, do it.
Keep it simple
If I send a simple winky face or a “Hey!” it shows very little investment on my part.
Long complicated texts show a great deal of investment.
1-2. She’s not invested, so keep your texts really brief, usually briefer than hers.
3-4. Not as important, but still useful to remind her of your “alphaness.” In general, keeping it simple is a main mindset behind text game.
Don’t ask questions
Make observations or comments. Asking questions is high investment…if she fails to respond, your value has dropped.
1. Sometimes you can ask a question which by social standards requires a response, like “did u get home safely?” But don’t ask too many questions because it shows you care about her response, which you don’t.
2. It’s ok to ask more questions, to seek rapport, to get logistical info, etc.
3-4. Back off the questions, and work more on making statements. You’re leading now with the assumption she’s gonna follow.
Implicit invitations
This is a way to feel out her readiness to meet up, without seeming too invested yourself.
1. Not relevant. She is unlikely to agree to a meet up if she won’t even answer your texts. Not always, but usually.
2-3. Start feeling her out for a desire to meet. Sometimes they don’t seem too eager to invest, and yet will agree to meet. Realize however that at lower EI levels, flake rate is higher.
4. Don’t need to beat around the bush. Be explicit about your invites, but at a level 5 she will often be the one doing the inviting.
Z Inviting Girls Out
You can make an explicit invitation like, “Hey do you want to go out with me tonight?”
but this is weak. Find ways that make statements. Implicit invitations include:
Hey I'm free tonite!
Whatcha doin later?
Hangin with the bros til 9. Free after that Had a long day. We deserve mojitos
Here you are “asking” her out without asking her out.
Though less implicit, you can make statements that start with “we should” and “let's”:
Too tired to go out. Let's have a movie night
Tmrw's midget wrestling nite. We should totally go
In so doing, you are asking her out in a non-needy way, with the assumption that she is already on board. Communicate that you have shit going on, and while you plan on doing something it would be great for her to join. You are not necessarily putting her on the spot or making her feel essential to your happiness.
Set the frame that girls earn your time:
You deserve a nite out with me.
Awww you deserve a foot rub
Or if she flakes: Hmmm...guess I'll let you make it up to me...
BTIS: The Buying Temperature-Invite Sandwich
You just made a comment, she responded, and now you can send back some funny response. In the same text, add an invite, and then cap it off with another BT-spiker.
Example:
D: So what kinda music do u like then?
H: IDK everything
D: Haha liar! Whatcha doin tonite? Mommy's letting me borrow the car for an hour When she told you she listens to all kinds of music, you called her a liar, which is absurd and probably will get a laugh. You then throw out an implicit invitation, and end the text with another small giggle. Other lines you can use after the invite: “I'm out on parole” and “I locked myself outta the house.”