S UB THEME THREE : S ATISFACTION IN STRENGTH

Many of the participants spoke of discovering or developing through their work, a confidence, courage or mental strength.

I uite p oud that I do it. Quite p oud of self. Quite su p ised of self, I sometimes think God, you were talking to some of the nastiest women in, in the entire thing, erm, (pause) I think at the time it gave me quite a lot of confidence

(Belinda, 34, 15-18).

Belinda expressed her surprise and pride that she was able to work with some of the

nastiest women i the p iso , a d this a ilit i eased he self-confidence. It was

notable that when describing their sense of their strength, participants positioned

themselves in relation to the dangerous criminal within their client, rather than the victim within their client.

Emma also described discovering a courage and strength when two male prisoners started fighting in front of her:

I got in and intervened and defused the situation, kind of, you know, separated the a d so ted it out, a d I do t thi k I ould ha e e e ha e thought that I would react in that way. Erm, at all, so I thi k, ou k o , a e I , a e I

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st o ge tha I thought I as, a d I thi k a e I o e o fide t (Emma, 31,15-

19).

Rather than feeling that she developed strength and courage through the work, Emma appeared to have discovered traits that were always there but of which she was previously unaware. This extract suggested that her experience of the work caused her to adjust her self-perception, as had Beli da i surprising herself ith e aspe ts of he self. “i ila l , Maria said:

I do think, I must, you know, not many people could kind of work in this setting and ou k o , e , I e ki d of, I o ki g i it a d I de elopi g [therapeutic] g oups a d doi g these ki d of thi gs a d I thi k, ok, ell it s set e up fo futu e employment, and maybe I have more strength than I think (Maria, 35, 10-14).

Ma ia s dis o e of a st e gth she did t thi k she had appea ed to e li ked to he pe eptio that not many people ould tole ate the e i o e t. Lu too, see ed to experience a sense of being stronger, braver than others in being able to work with this client group when she considered her work through the eyes of others:

Talking to colleagues over the years, about clients that I work with - and, it strikes me at times that people look at me and they seem absolutely aghast at the kind of

o k I doi g. E , that ou k o , that the e a e lie ts ho ha e suffe ed this, o that I o ki g ith lie ts ho a e so da ge ous. A d it s o l the that it occurs to me that actually some of the challenges I face are not challenges that anyone else would ever face, but I never think about it like that, which is really

ei d, I alk a ou d a d, I do t, I ot f ighte ed i a p iso , a d, a d et I talking to, you know, colleagues who I respect and ho e do e e t ao di a

o k, the ll sa , ou k o , God, ho do ou do that . E , li- the clients that you work with are so dangerous, how on earth do you form a relationship with the ? (Lucy, 16,13-17,15).

Lucy seemed to take her courage and resilience for granted until she was provided with feed a k f o othe s that suggested to he that she as diffe e t f o othe the apists. At this point, she experienced her courage as being admired by colleagues whom she respected, suggesting there is perhaps some reward in being perceived by others as being st o g e ough to o k ith such dangerous clients . “i ila l , ‘o spoke fo th ightl

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about the gains he experienced from being able to engage with dangerous people: it -

does a lot for my ego knowi g that I e do e, ou k o - I o ki g ith, the ost high e d isk ki d of, g oup of people that a lot of people a e t illi g to o k ith ‘o , , 6-8). It ould appea that ‘o s feeli gs of self-esteem were increased by positioning

himself as unusual in being willing to work with dangerous, high risk clients. He went on to say why he chose to consider this aspect of the work as a benefit:

“o I ki d of thi k of it like that athe tha , ou k o , I , i a a , og iti e bias to focus on that athe tha , the egati es, that a get ou do eall . […] That s hat ou fi d, ou k o , if I fo usi g o that that s he I goi g to get burnt out, and not want to work in this environment (Rob, 34,8-13).

It appeared important to Rob to focus on the satisfaction he got from his strength in order to prevent himself becoming burnt out or feeling negatively about working in prison. In this way, having awareness of the gains from his work appeared to build his resilience.