Scales for Experience

The five scales for experience are:

• loving

• pressure to achieve

• rejecting

• neglecting

• involving / reversing

Each of these aspects of the interview are distinctive but related, as defined

by Main and Goldwyn (1994). The scales are scored in relation to the

mother, father and any other close adults, eg. step - parents. The experience

scales are specific because each scale is applied to the individual parenting

described for the mother and father. The scoring of these scales is based not

on the analyst’s interpretation of the experience but on the interviewees’

perception of their childhood and therefore their probable experience.

The high score from the assessment of the loving scale is based on a strong

indication of a loving relationship with a parent which in this analysis

relates to statements of comfort, support, physical affection and

dependability, especially in the light of having done something bad. A low

physical or educational care but no evidence of having supplied affection,

emotional support or interest. An example of a statement which would

support a higher score for loving experience:

They were always really supportive to me and my brother, I don Y

remember having any problems when I needed support, I mean they were always just there and they were always helping me with my work.

(Interview 4, lines 178-180)

This quote typifies loving experience by the unconditional support given by

the parents and taken in the context of the interview with examples of loving

behaviour by the parents resulted in high scores of 8.0 for mother and father

loving in this interview.

The high rating of the experience of rejection is based on childhood

experience which appears to be empty of affection, where the child was not

supported, was rebuffed, apparently not wanted and may have been ridiculed

when distressed or ill. Rejection is also rated highly when a person describes

himself or herself as a favourite or spoilt as a child and this is not supported

by descriptions of affection; it may be associated with material objects that

the child did not feel that they deserved.

For example this excerpt where the child was scolded when hurt:

Tve fallen over Vve slipped this has happened and my mum would say "Its funny you haven't scraped your knees" and well no I was very lucky mum and she d say "Can I see your knees" and Td say "Alright mum it was me" and sh ed tell me off 'cos it was always me but er. (Interview 17, lines 236-240)

In this quote the child is injured and tries to hide it. The mother has a cool

approach to the child’s injury and scolds the child rather than offering care or

comfort. The accumulated score for mother rejection for this interview was

7.00. For ratings at the lower end of the rejection scale the interviewee may

have had parents who stressed early or inappropriate independence rather

than negative experiences of this sort.

Neglect differs from rejection according to Mary Main; the child who is

neglected may be given little attention, eg. it may be due to parental illness

or a preoccupation with work, whereas a rejected child may be actively

involved with the parent but in a negative way. The neglect scale rates the

degree to which a parent paid attention to the child when actually present, a

highly neglecting parent in this analysis would not really interact with the

child and do nothing towards developing the child’s physical or

psychological well being.

Well that's from really it wasn't so much, I didn't feel it so much feel it — um when he wasn't there but that time he came and he

ignored me then I really felt it and then I started after that, it was sort o f like he doesn't want to be with me at all.

(Interview 24, lines 348-350)

This quote is part of a description of a meeting with an absent father and

illustrates the fact that the father did not pay attention to the child on this

rare occasion of a meeting. This was the only incident in this transcript

which contributed to the neglect score for the father and therefore the overall

score for neglect was only 2.00. Lower ratings of the neglect scale would

indicate that the parent was present but unavailable in a limited way or for a

which did not relate to the child.

The scale for involving / reversing relates to the way in which a parent may

at the lower end of the scale have been disorganised or incompetent and the

child takes on a parental role with siblings, perhaps advising the parent.

Higher up the scale this might be developed to the point where there was

obvious role reversal which has become a significant part of the child’s

experience, with the parent seeking the child’s attention. The child may even

take on a role of protecting the parent, being responsible for the parent or as

a substitute spouse.

1 was the oldest and I tended to get her (younger sister) to look after or do things with h e r...Cos I practically brought

her up she was my baby sort o f thing cos I was a lot older could look after her.

(Interview 11, lines 188-192)

This example of role reversal where the child is a substitute parent for a

sibling and takes on an adult role resulted in a score of 4.5 for mother

involving / reversing.

Pressure to achieve in the context of this interview relates to how much the

child was pushed towards achieving some sort of excellence, status or

exceeding other family members but failure to achieve was not linked to

punishment. Lower scores might indicate some particular concern about

school reports limited to a particular point in time. Alternatively a high score

would be awarded when the parents had consistently stressed the child to

perform in a particular field and this becomes the entire focus of the

He was always very exacting particularly academically about what we should I mean I always found it very difficult to cope with um you know we used to get our reports read out that was always a very early memory o f all our school reports were read out at the dinner table and with everyone there and you d go through and all sort o f going like could be better and all o f this and er you know I used to feel sick the night before and hate it horrible yuh.

(Interview 44, lines 178-184)

The pressure in this quote is derived from the manner in which academic

achievement and school reports were used probably as a means of

motivation but producing a great deal of stress in this child.