Self-confidence

Eleven of the female leaders reported that increasing their self-confidence was one of their coaching objectives. The general term of self-confidence appeared to be used

interchangeably with the term self-esteem, in that distinction between the outward shows of confidence was not distinguished from the inner perspective of esteem. In the group coaching, the definitions shared with the participants used in the AD programme are set out in Table 4.2:

Table 4.2 Definitions used in the AD initiative for confidence, esteem and self-belief

77 These distinctions were not referenced by the female participants; instead the most

frequently used term was self-confidence which tended to be used in a general fashion to encompass various elements of self concepts and growth. As Patricia proclaims, ’definitely self-confidence is a huge outcome coming from this programme, I had a lot of self limiting thoughts about myself’ (Patricia). Padma shares the belief that the coaching she received contributed positively to her increased confidence, she states:

’My coach helped me to improve my confidence level and my emotional level and my emotional ability, I was very emotional I was sensitive about minor issues and not that confident and this programme helped me to learn a lot.’

The references to self-confidence were consistently positive in tone, and were regarded by all participants who raised it as being an invaluable outcome, as Paula stated:

’Self-confidence – another big achievement, knowing that I can do whatever I want to do – the key thing is to know what I really want, that part is key.’ Whilst the participants tended to use the term confidence when they referred to how they feel about themselves, in the literature this is more commonly referred to as self-esteem (Dinos and Palmer, 2015; Keller et al., 2015). The concept of self-esteem is an important psychological construct and the literature is extensive regarding its multi-faceted nature although few studies discuss how coaching can actively support its development (Bachkirova, 2013). When thinking about how she had changed as a result of AD, Pauline describes her self-esteem, however she refers to it as confidence stating:

’ I have had more confidence, I feel more in control of my options and things – what is ok and what is not ok. Definitely you get to a point where you feel good ...

content, happy in terms of options... yeah really good.’

In terms of support on confidence, Peggy talks about a practical experience within a group coaching session that supported her when she felt she was lacking confidence in how to approach her new job.

’I was completely lacking in confidence and I was managing a team and I was joining the leadership team, the feedback I told the group, I don’t see why they should respect me and see me as an equal, [...] and it made me confident of my positives and own them – I remember standing on my book.’

The concepts of self-awareness and self-confidence are reported often interchangeably rather than being considered distinct and separate. Phoebe conflates them when she talks

78 about growing her awareness and self knowledge and then confidence following almost as a consequence: ’ One thing I learnt about myself I appear calm, composed but very firm – I have always had doubts about being firm – it has reaffirmed me about being calm – it builds confidence’. This was taken through to action by Phoebe – she talked about gaining awareness, leading to increased confidence and then about relating that into action: ’it is not just confidence and awareness but now that this is what I know what I do with it – this is the most powerful part of all this process – what do you do with it.’ (Phoebe). This interchangeable use of terminology concerning the areas of confidence, esteem and self-belief by participants, represents a conflating of issues that academics and the extant literature prise apart (Vinnicombe et al., 2013). The finding that the female participants used coaching to support their development of self-confidence takes to another level the previous research by De-Valle (2014) and Worth (2012) and reinforces previous work by Vinnicombe et al. (2013).

4.2.3 Identity

For some participants, the inward reflection appeared to progress to a deeper level than awareness and self knowledge and concerned identity, i.e. who they were in the world and how they conceive of themselves within the world (Butcher, 2012). What is interesting is that this could be construed as deep reflective work of existential coaching (Van Deurzen, 2012), which would have been considered outside the realm of what constituted the level of capability given the relative experience and professional capability of the coaches.

However, these constructs underpinning a sense of identity were discussed by many participants – even though the term identity itself may have been rejected, as Prunella states:

’We discussed purpose in life, not so much identity per se, but I think that becomes apparent as you go through it even if you don’t deliberately discuss it so you can’t avoid it – it comes out in the discussions and how we show up in work every day.’

The sense of awareness, of self knowledge and of inner reflection led some participants to reveal they had a new sense of identity as to who they really were. For Pam, there is a progression that she saw in herself from the coaching – going from awareness of what she was doing, through why she was doing it, to identity:

’Building awareness of first what you are doing and exploring why you are doing it and this is serving you or not and then trying to change to serve yourself and stay

79 yourself was one of the greatest gifts from AD – being myself while improving myself.’

Again, the reflection on the progression and developmental growth was observed by the participants with obvious delight and gratitude. The coaches identified that shifts in identity had taken place within some of the coachees. As Cathy observed:

’I think some strength, confidence in their belief actually in that they were and still are talented, capable senior leaders and powerful as well, when they started the programme they took for granted their ability and maybe didn’t want to or know how to promote themselves in a helpful, positive way.’

The findings regarding identity reinforce aspects of the ’imposter syndrome’ in female leaders (Vachon, 2014) whereby women tend to undervalue themselves and feel

fraudulent in holding senior positions. The findings suggest that as the women progressed through the coaching initiative they developed self appreciation and seemed to grow into their own view of themselves, that the coaching helped them to overcome their feelings of being ’imposters’ and supported the development of their own positive identity.