Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is an objective and favorable impression of one's self that influences all of one's experiences.

NLP talks about form and content when discussing self-esteem:

The content of low self-esteem (LSE) is negative. For example, you may imagine yourself as slouching or moving slowly. The form of the LSE is a very intense mental image, or seeing yourself in detail, slouching or moving slowly.

The form and content of high self-esteem (HSE) is positive self-image and very intense submodalities. So seeing yourself well-lit, close-up, colorful, but with good posture, moving quickly, etc.

In between are mildly HSE, which has a positive content but very mild form. Here, if you were to intensify the submodalities and keep the content the same, you would become a very HSE person.

In addition, there are mildly negative esteem, which consists of negative self-image with very mild form. Here, turn the content positive and then intensify the submodalities.

Being vs Doing

We are human beings, not human doings. Learn to separate what you do from who you are. Notice your being is fundamentally good, though your actions may require improvement. This will help resolve many emotions such as regret and shame.

One exercise called The Autobiography involves seeing yourself from the other

perspective, specifically through the eyes of someone who loves you. Seeing yourself through love enhances your positive traits.

Use 'I' statements. 'I feel wonderful' is better than 'this is a wonderful day.' It recognizes your individuality, setting yourself apart from other people, things and

concepts. It ensures ownership of your experiences and empowers you to stand up for your identity. This is a hallmark of HSE.

Codependence is a kind of lack of choice, a pattern of dependence on compulsive behaviors and on approval from others in an attempt to find safety, self-worth and identity. LSE leads to fewer choices.

The Swish Pattern

This is an exercise that handles defeating behavior and other blocks to self-esteem, as well as enabling you to see a brighter future.

People with HSE know how to feel good about themselves even if someone else finds fault with their performance, value and goals. The key difference between successful and unsuccessful salespeople is their ability to dispassionately react to repeated rejection of themselves and their product.

NLP teaches you to reprogram your brain, and to respond comfortably to criticism. You become able to detach from criticism and discover what useful feedback is available.

Otherwise, you respond defensively and don't see the useful information criticism may contain. By learning how to view this information, you can then decide if you agree or disagree with the critic, and express this appropriately. This permits you to learn how the critic views reality, and allows you to better communicate with him in the future.

Chapter 11

Securing a positive mental attitude

One of the NLP practitioners got into a bad accident. As he rehabbed to become athletic again, he studied how other injured athletes did it. He developed 6

characteristics of solid positive mental attitude:

1. Inner motivation. Use away from and toward directions to think about your goal.

2. Have high standards. Make your goals not just full recovery, but better than pre-injury state.

3. Chunking down goals. Take small steps. This will make each small improvement a success, which will help motivate you from day to day.

4. Combine present and future time frames. Don't think too much about the future goals to the point of discouragement. Experience your present situation fully and get involved in improving it. Think vividly and fully in the present moment. Think about the improvements you will make and enjoy those in the present.

5. Get personally involved. Take an active role in your recovery, and avoid thinking of yourself as a passive participant.

6. Self-to-self comparison. Avoid comparing your progress to others. Look at your own progress for motivation.

NLP exercises teach how to embrace a positive mental attitude, find your personal timeline, and then combine these exercises in the Decision Destroyer which

neutralizes past bad decisions.

Chapter 12

Peak performance

NLP has studied what creates a person who performs at their peak, as well as what causes people to feel powerless.

3 factors existed in powerless people:

1. We live in times of unequal economic and political power.

2. For most people, their perception of this inequality is far greater than it actually is.

3. Most people have a deep identification with their powerlessness. People don't challenge it; they accept it as inevitable.

Their limitations are not in their capabilities or in the world, but in their beliefs, thoughts and feelings about themselves.

A crucial characteristic is that peak performers believe in their own success. Use the Swish pattern for self-empowerment.

NLP uses a form of placebo effect. When people are prepared for an outcome, their brains will make them better. Decision Destroyer creates a peak performance imprint.

Focus not on getting to what you consider to be the peak of your mountain, expecting to find happiness there. Building up this expectation will only lead to fleeting

happiness. Instead, be happy even before you reach the summit. Happiness should not depend on what others do, or what you do or don't have. Instead of letting life happen to you, manage your experiences.

Experience being in the zone, as peak performers experience. When you're in the zone or experience Flow, your self disappears into what you're doing, you are free from concern, free to do anything. You see the big picture, let your creativity go where it is needed. NLP can put you in a peak performance zone by an exercise: liberating your perspective for unlimited achievement.

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