G IVING E FFECTIVE F EEDBACK
A SKING FOR F EEDBACK
Before we leave this chapter, let’s talk about how to ask for feedback. Gia is a property manager for Baird and Warner. We were having coffee one day when she talked with me about the importance of asking for feedback. Gia said, “In any given year, I work with ten to fifteen property owners. You assume you’re doing a good job and then you get feedback that tells you oth-erwise. That taught me to ask for feedback.”
Have you ever had an experience like Gia’s? So often people tell me they want more feedback but don’t know how and when to ask for it. The fol-lowing sample questions provide suggestions about what you can ask to solicit feedback.
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What do you not like about the way I interact with you?•
What do you think I could more of ?•
What do you think I could do less of ?•
What do you think I should stop doing?•
What do you think I should keep doing?•
What do I do that makes your job easier?•
What do I do that makes your job more difficult?•
What do you see as my strengths?Exercise 5–8: Getting Feedback from Others
1. Think about how feedback from others could help you and select one or two questions you want to ask others. Write them down.
2. Decide from whom you want to get feedback.
3. How will you use the feedback you solicit? You want to be able to tell those from whom you are seeking feedback why you want this feedback.
Feedback provides the coachee with a fresh, objective lens. A coach steps back and watches how the coachee performs;
their feedback enables us to take our performance to a new level.
Coaches must be ready to give feedback. To do this, gather your thoughts, wait until you can talk in person, and make sure you can talk in a private place. You also need to select an appropriate environment, set up the discussion, and prepare notes to guide what you say.
Feedback discussions are a means for learning, growth, and positive change. Seven characteristics of effective feedback include helping the coachee see performance gaps, confronting blind spots, helping people learn from their mistakes and pinpointing areas for growth, providing descriptive rather than subjective and evaluative feedback, making sure feedback is timely, and celebrating small wins.
When delivering difficult feedback, it is important to provide specific examples, frame feedback with “if/then” statements, contrast what went well in a given situation with what needs to change, juxtapose the coachee’s behavior with your feelings in response to that behavior, make impact state-ments that illustrate the effects of the coachee’s behavior on others, and sum-marize what the coachee has agreed to do with what he or she has actually done.
Just-in-time feedback is a three-step process for delivering quick, bal-anced feedback. Coaches use it in the moment, and describe what the coachee needs to keep doing, to pay attention to, and to improve. This tech-nique forces the coach to focus on more than just improvements and think about all aspects of performance.
Peer feedback is a tool that helps build stronger teams as well as enhance each person’s contribution to the team. It is an eight-step system designed to give and receive feedback in a structured manner and guide individuals through issues and concerns.
It is important to know how and when to ask for feedback. Questions for eliciting feedback include:
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What do you like about the way I interact with you?•
What do I do that makes your job more difficult?•
What do you see as my strengths?Review Questions
1. Coaches gather their thoughts before giving feedback, asking 1. (b) themselves:
(a) How long do I want the feedback session to be?
(b) Why am I delivering this feedback?
(c) Who else has provided feedback?
(d) Why do I need to provide positive feedback?
2. One of the characteristics of effective feedback is that: 2. (b) (a) it is general.
(b) it enables people to learn from their mistakes.
(c) it is highly personal.
(d) it does not create an emotional response.
3. In using a peer feedback technique, one of the steps is 3. (a) deciding:
(a) the period of time you want the feedback to cover.
(b) how and when to involve those outside the team.
(c) which team members to include and exclude.
(d) how to let the team decide what it wants to ask.
4. When you solicit feedback from others, one question to ask 4. (d) is:
(a) why don’t you want to cooperate with me?
(b) what is your motivation for giving me this feedback?
(c) do you feel you can be objective in giving me feedback?
(d) what do you think I could do more of?
5. When delivering difficult feedback, it is important to: 5. (c) (a) give the coachee time to process the information.
(b) take into accounts the coachee’s needs.
(c) use an impact statement that shows the coachee the consequences of his or her behavior on others.
(d) make it clear the person has a choice about acting on your feedback.
Do you have questions? Comments? Need clarification?
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