Super-ordinate theme two: Being Present

Being present described participants’ presence in therapy with their clients. For the participants, this seemed to involve awareness of their breath supporting them to being

75

fully available and present in their interactions. This theme connected closely to sub- themes that encompassed allowing ‘to be’ and experiences of participants’ connectedness to their clients.

4.4.1 Being present and allowing ‘to be’

Most participants conveyed that presence in therapy was vital for therapy to be beneficial to the client. Mark, in particular, saw presence as fundamental to his work as a therapist. I felt that participants had an implicit understanding of this and that breath awareness contributed to their ability to being present and allowing the space between them and their clients ‘to be’. Sarah spoke about social pressures for individuals to rush and meet expectations. In her saying ‘just allow, allow that to be’ I felt it was a plea to herself that despite pressures to achieve certain goals, in therapy, she endeavoured to be present to whatever arose.

Sarah: ‘just back into the situation just allow, allow that to be […] it’s I think it’s society

generally where I am anyway, it’s fast paced it’s having to meet certain things, to be a certain way, to achieve certain goals and it’s not good for any individual to be that way’.

Mark was very direct in his response about the importance of being present as he saw it as an opportunity for ‘something to happen’ between his clients and himself. I felt, while he did not elaborate on this point, he was revealing presence simply as being present in the moment when he said ‘I’m there, they’re present and there’s something

happening’.

Stewart added that the study had prompted him to take note of his breathing and he expresses his experiences of feeling engaged or ‘real connection’. The word ‘real’ particularly stressed the genuine connection and what he later described as ‘oneness’.

76

Stewart: ‘I’m involved in a study just make a note of my breathing you know then as

that engagement happens, have that real connection I might actually lose that sense of my breathing because you know there’s some sort of psychological oneness’.

Stewart went on to say that it was quite hard to describe the experience. Joanna also described presence when she said it involved ‘to be with whatever’, Joanna appeared to describe something that she perhaps found hard to find the words as well, when she did not quite complete her sentences but spoke of ‘just spaces’ and ‘I’m still with

them’.

Joanna: ‘I haven’t asked them what, how do you find this so I think it enables them to

be with whatever is there and hopefully that it’s okay whatever is there that it doesn’t that’s just spaces, I’m with them, yeah I’m still with them’.

Similar to the expressions of the other participants, there was a sense that Joanna was ‘allowing’ the experiences to be, to arise in therapy rather than seeking out a particular intervention such as interpretation or filling the ‘spaces’.

4.4.2 Being present in connectedness

This theme emphasised the participants’ breath awareness influencing their feelings of connectedness to their clients. Presence and connectedness were highlighted in Mark’s expressions when he spoke of a client finding for the first time someone who really listened to him and Mark stated that his breath awareness contributed to this process.

Mark: ‘I’ve worked with some clients where I’m probably the first person that they

actually had found that have really listening to them and that has a massive affect on their life, huge affect I think erm and breathing is part of that’.

77

Mark’s account appeared to describe how awareness of his breath supported him to be present with his clients and that this in turn helped Mark to ‘really listen’. Mark was very direct about his views involving psychotherapists not utilising their breath in their clinical work.

Mark: ‘being present, I think erm being present is the most fundamental thing in

psychotherapy and a client will pick up on it immediately if you’re not there with them’.

Connectedness was described as a moving experience particularly by Stewart, Stewart from all the participants was clear that prior to the study he did not pay attention to his breath while in therapy with his clients. In his expression he conveyed his understanding of what he experienced in terms theory i.e. Martin Buber’s I- Thou interaction. I felt the depth of his experience when he said ‘I’m I’m really connected

you know’.

Stewart: ‘I I sort of see it as that sort of ‘ I Thou’ or ‘ I-It’ kind of distinction so then

when I’m I’m really connected you know when we are fully put aside our defences our you know there’s there’s you know intimacy of the therapeutic sense of the word then my breathing is different you know’.

When Stewart referred to the work of Buber, I was aware that I am encouraged by Buber’s work and the contributions he makes to my understanding of ‘being present’. As a psychotherapist, I have often considered his work in therapy when working with my clients. Due to this position, I felt that I had a greater sense of Stewart’s experience, at the same time I did not want to influence his expressions by adding my own interpretation during the interview.

Similar to Stewart, another participant, Joanna, found her breath helped her ‘to be with’ her clients and for ‘something to happen’. Joanna also emphasised that this occured through the use of the breath when she said ‘that wouldn’t have before I

78

Joanna: ‘I ground myself in the breath, taking a pause breath and slowing down that

helps me to just to be with it and usually something happens either the client says something, or something else comes to me, that wouldn’t have before I started using the breath’.

Joanna appeared to express confidently how she utilised the breath to gain presence and to connect with her clients. The manner in which she described ‘ I ground myself

in the breath, taking a pause breath and slowing down’, seemed like a sequence that

she was accustomed to as a participant who often practiced mindfulness of breathing prior to her involvement in the study.