Theme 1: Demonstration of Respect

“Respect” means different things to different people. However, although it can be defined differently, both the black Zambians and white Westerners stressed the importance of demonstrating respect in dyadic and group communication. Respect was expressed in different ways, however.

Handshaking

The Westerners identified handshaking as a token of respect.

The Zambians confirmed that this was also the case among them, although a visitor was first given a seat and then he or she was greeted by a handshake. This showed that the host was glad to be visited and appreciated, and respected the presence of the guest in the home.

A white Western participant in the mixed group acknowledged this difference as follows:

In the Western world, you can go into a home as a visitor, go directly to the host and shake their hand and say, “Hi, how are

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you today?” Here in Africa, I have noticed that a visitor has to wait to be given a seat first, and then when they are seated, the host will go over and politely shake their hand, and carefully greet.

A Zambian participant highlighted another difference between Zambian and Western culture:

Shaking hands [in Zambian culture] is not common in public interaction. Normally, it is done at home, where people will either kneel or sit down and then shake hands.

Greeting

In the Zambian culture, particularly among the Lozi people of the Western Province of Zambia, respect was demonstrated by clapping hands lightly when two or more people greet in public. A further sign of respect would be to stretch one’s open palms towards a person.

One Zambian participant in the Zambian group stated the following:

In our culture, we clap hands when greeting as a demonstration of respect. I have seen this practice even among the Shona people of Zimbabwe.

Age-related Issues

Western participants identified respect to the elderly as an important point of difference between the two cultures. The Western participants stated in their discussion group that when being given something by an elderly person, one did not necessarily have to receive it in any special way as was the practice in the Zambian culture. A Western participant put it as follows:

When being given an item by an elderly person, one does not have to receive it with two hands.

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Apart from receiving something with two hands, kneeling was identified by Western participants as a way in which Zambians expressed respect to the elderly. One Western participant stated the following:

The showing of respect is over-dramatised here. Kneeling when giving something to someone respectable or elderly is too much.

This particular participant expressed amazement and even dismay at the amount of respect that adults in the Zambian culture were accorded from young people. She stated that this was completely different from what she was used to in her culture, where respect was accorded people who had done admirable things in life, not on the basis of their age.

Other Western participants also emphasised that respect should be earned and that adults had even to show respect to young people when they had earned this respect.

One Western participant in the discussion of the whites-only group elaborated as follows:

The segregation between the elderly and the younger people in the demonstration of respect is not that pronounced. What is critical is when one is in a position of responsibility.

In other words, in the Western culture, respect was earned by position in society or through achievement.

Another Western participant in the mixed group said the following:

In the Western world, although one is young, if they have done admirable things, they are respected much more than adults.

Gender-related Issues

The Zambian participants, on the other hand, stated that children or younger people were not only obliged to show respect to older people, but also to the male parent – the father. One Zambian participant stated the following:

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In our set-up, when a child wants to talk to the father, he or she has to communicate through the mother, making his or her request known of whatever it is he or she wants.

In the above quotation respect is indicated by not speaking directly to the male parent.

Another Zambian participant in the mixed group discussion also identified kneeling down and keeping your voice down as indications of respect to the father:

When talking to the father, a child will come politely and kneel nicely down and tell the father whatever it is that he/she wants, not standing. The child will have to keep his or her voice down as he or she talks to the father so he or she does not disturb everyone else.

Voice Projection

In the Zambian context, conversations were usually carried out in soft tones to demonstrate respect. A Zambian participant added that anger towards adults had to be expressed

respectfully:

Even expression of anger towards adults has to be done with respect. Not talking loudly and kicking the ground. It is important to actually kneel down when talking to adults or sitting on the ground.

Eye Contact

When a child was being rebuked by a parent, the following behaviour was expected of a Zambian child, according to a Zambian participant in the mixed group:

You look down, humble and respectful to show that you are sorry for what you have done.

Thus the Zambian tradition demanded of a younger person to avoid direct eye contact when talking to an older person. This demonstrated respect for the older individual. The

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participants added that staring into the eyes of an older person when talking to him or her was disrespectful and rude, according to their culture.

Although Western culture also subscribes to the demonstration of respect through a humble and respectful countenance by a child when being rebuked by the parent, eye contact is promoted as a sign of confidence and paying attention in a dyadic communication.

One Western participant stated the mixed group discussions that:

My mother always taught us to be confident and maintain eye contact when talking to another person, whether elderly or not.