Who do you think you are? In your Self-Coaching Journal, write two or three sentences that summarise your most important personal attributes. Don’t think too hard – just write whatever comes into your mind.
In the chart opposite, write down ten qualities you most admire in other people in the left-hand column. Think about your family, work
colleagues and friends. Think about people you’ve read about or seen in films or on TV. Also think about fictional characters from TV or film. What is it about them that you admire?
Then in the other column write down ten personal qualities you would like for yourself.
If you can think of more than ten – fine – list these at the bottom of the page or on a separate sheet.
185 186
Write a few sentences on how your life would be different if you had all the qualities you listed in 186.
Personal qualities I most admire in others
Personal qualities I want for myself 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 187
Now it’s time to get to know yourself even better. You’re going to carry out a personal SWOT analysis – strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.
We are all weaker in some areas than others, but if it is important enough, we can work on our weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses helps you to:
■ Choose suitable goals.
■ Know what you need to achieve these goals.
■ Be realistic about which situations you handle well and where you need to improve.
■ Make a plan to build on your strengths and eliminate or lessen your weaknesses.
Use the grid below. 189 to 192 will help.
My strengths (189) My weaknesses (190)
Opportunities (191) Threats (192)
Identify your strengths. You need to be aware of your personal strengths and reflect on how you could use them better.
■ What are you good at?
■ Where lies your greatest area of knowledge?
■ What personal qualities do you have?
■ What makes you unique?
■ What wouldn’t you want to change?
■ How do you learn best. By doing? Reading? Formal study? Watching and copying? Taking part in discussions? Listening to audiotapes? Through mentoring or coaching?
Have you overlooked any? Don’t be modest. Most people can think of at least a couple of dozen if they put their minds to it. Check that your modesty isn’t preventing you boasting a bit, or the perfectionist in you isn’t stopping you being satisfied with something that is very good but less than faultless.
(If you find this difficult, don’t try to finish your list all at once; write down a few points every day. Don’t worry if some appear trivial – you may have overlooked their importance.)
List your weaknesses:
■ What do you consider to be your weaknesses?
■ Where are the gaps in your knowledge?
■ What qualities do you lack?
■ What aspects of yourself do you find hard to accept?
■ What would you want to change?
Don’t go overboard listing weaknesses. It’s good to be realistic, but not so good to exaggerate them. You need to be aware of weaknesses not so
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that you can dwell on them, but improve.
Beware of comparisons – the quickest way to deflate your spirits is to compare yourself with other people, especially the wrong people.
Some of the things you find hard to accept about yourself may be impossible to change. If you are 5’2” and would rather be 6’2”, there is little you can do. Everyone has some aspect of themselves they wish were different. All you can do is refuse to allow it to interfere with your happiness and get on with your life.
But if change is possible, there’s no point in complaining. Do something about it. If you don’t make the effort, you’ll stay exactly as you are and you’ve only got yourself to blame.
Identify the opportunities available to you. Your aim in identifying opportunities is to recognise areas you want to develop further, e.g. new personal attributes, qualifications, experiences, health and fitness, improved communication skills, etc.
Start by thinking about your strengths. For each strength write down how you could make better use of it in the future. Then consider:
■ What opportunities do you have right now?
■ What other opportunities could you create if you developed a particular strength or improved upon a weakness?
■ What have you overlooked?
Threats: What would be the consequences of staying as you are? Which of your goals would be most at risk? From where, what or from whom do the threats come?
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If you’re still not sure about your strengths and weaknesses, get some feedback from others. Choose people you know well, who know you and whom you trust – your partner, perhaps, or a best friend, work colleague or boss. Many people have an annual appraisal at work – if you did, what did you learn about yourself? Was it useful?
Ask these people to tell you what they think you’re good at, what you do well, and what you’re not so good at. Ask them what, in their opinion, you need to develop and what you could do to improve.
This may not be easy, so be patient, don’t take offence and seek clarification if you don’t understand. If they say something you disagree with, find out more about why they take this view. When they’ve finished, thank them.
In your Self-Coaching Journal write down:
■ What did you learn about yourself from this exercise?
■ What will you do differently as a result?
■ What was good about their feedback?
■ What was not so good about their feedback?
Imagine someone has asked you for a written personal reference for yourself. What would you write?
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