TruthMatters is one of the most respected private chat- rooms on the Matrix. You have to be invited, and you have to be a serious contributor to get an invitation. Contrary to popular belief, this isn’t a group of crazy conspiracy theorists willing to believe that dragons have established colonies on Venus or that kind of drek. We discuss real issues, uncover factual incidents, and search for the truth and culprits behind the most heinous true conspiracies of our time. So when this idiot showed up, we actually expected an intelligent discus- sion. Even I couldn’t believe the shit he was spewing, but I found it entertaining enough that I wanted to share. But there’s no way this is true. Right?
//upload transcript: user: Plan-9:: 01/23/2075
tinman: The Black Lodge has more influence than you might think.
<bam-bam has logged in> bear Who Walks: How so?
tinman: Several of their known members descended in droves on Vatican City the day before news of the Pope’s illness hit the Matrix. You don’t think they’re there by accident, do you?
<sindy has logged in>
Plan 9: That’s not what I said, Tinman. Hey, SINdy. What’s up?
Plan 9: Nope. The comedy duo fun is just starting.
bear Who Walks: You sound so sure about that, SINdy. What if the sky is down instead?
sindy: You should change your name to “Man Who Thinks He’s Funny.” It’ll save a lot of time. People will shoot at you before you start a conversation, not wait until they get to know you.
Ricker: <snort> Dare I ask the current topic of conversation?
bear Who Walks: Watch it, girl. I know where you live. sindy: Love you too, Dad.
tinman: We’re discussing how far the Black Lodge has managed to infiltrate governments. I’m researching their influence on the College of Cardinals.
bam-bam: There’s a bigger threat than the Black Lodge. One that’s about to cause some serious damage in UCAS. Plan 9: It’s generally considered polite to introduce yourself
and your creds before interjecting into the conversation. bam-bam: Sorry. It’s just that I’ve seen something horrific
and it’s scaring the hell outta me. I’m Bam-Bam. I live in Seattle and work in the Office of Internal Affairs. Ricker: You work for Knight Errant?
bam-bam: Not quite. But I’ve been to Detroit, gone through the academy. Listen, I don’t mean to interrupt, but how much do you know about what’s going on in Seattle? bear Who Walks: Enough to stay the hell out of Seattle.
Those people are crazy.
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Inc oming M essag e ...bam-bam: I’m talking about Brackhaven, Parker, Corrigan, Jeffries, and Brackhaven’s cabinet. You know why Parker quit, right? Why Jeffries disappeared?
Plan 9: We’re listening.
bam-bam: Martin Parker discovered the bugs. That’s the real reason he quit without notice.
Ricker: One, Parker didn’t quit. He was very publicly fired due to an embezzlement scandal cover up. Brackhaven needed a scapegoat so pinned the whole thing on his chief of staff so he wouldn’t be investigated. Two, there are a lot of people eavesdropping on Brackhaven. Whose bugs are you referring to? The FBI’s? The CIA’s?
bam-bam: Not those kind of bugs, drekhead. BUGS. Insect spirits. The entire cabinet is possessed. Jeffries didn’t disap- pear. He died during an investiture attempt, then his body was burned in the governor’s crematorium.
sindy: I’m sorry. Did you just say “the governor’s crematorium”? bam-bam: Yes. Don’t you listen to the chatter? Brackhaven
had the crematorium built in the basement of the gover- nor’s mansion the day after he first became governor of Seattle so he could burn all the bodies of his enemies. His first victim was the man who did all the construction. Since then, Brackhaven’s fired it up at least once a week to destroy evidence of everything and anything. You don’t think the bugs took over Seattle in a day, do you? They’ve been there for YEARS! And now they’re getting ready to infiltrate the Ork Underground and turn all the orks into an army to help the bugs take over the entire UCAS.
tinman: What kind of insect spirits? bam-bam: Does it matter?
bear Who Walks: Actually, yes. Different insect spirits have different abilities and require different tactics to be defeated.
bam-bam: They are BUGS, damn it! Big compound eyes, wings, mandibles capable of tearing apart dragons. We need to stop them before they kill us all.
Plan 9: Bugs don’t generally kill people unless they are attacked or sense some other threat. They much prefer to use us as vessels for more of their own kind.
bam-bam: That’s the problem! Don’t you see? We’re insect food, we’re all nothing but insect food and Brackhaven is their queen. And he’s going to tear Seattle apart <Bam-Bam has disconnected.>
Ricker: Sorry, but I had to bounce him. If I had to listen to that nonsense for another moment, I might have actually gone insane.
sindy: It’s okay. I almost feel sorry for the guy. He really believes that story.
Plan 9: Ha. I almost want to sneak into the governor’s mansion to see if there really is a crematorium there.
>
I think the funniest part of this discussion is reading a conversation where Plan 9 is the reasonable one.>
/dev/grrlIncoming Message ... addendum: 01/15/2075