Values in life/work habits and customs

This subsection discusses the differences in life/work habits and customs between HCS and expatriates from the perspective of the participants. Three key themes emerged. First, in daily life, the participants noticed that the expatriates liked going to the pub in their spare time. Second, when going out socially the expatriates usually paid for themselves, even when with friends. And third, in the workplace, they tended to confirm things by email when they had already reached a consensus orally.

Liking going to the pub

In terms of differences in life habits between the expatriates and HCS, the expatriates' liking for going to the pub emerged. Some male participants used a well-known slang expression, "泡吧" (pao ba), to describe it. “Dipping oneself in some place” in Chinese means “spending much time or immersing oneself in a certain place” (Wang, 2010a, p. 175). Hence, “dipping bar” (泡吧; pao ba) means spending much time in a bar. Some participants (such as Joseph, Kelly and Jane) noticed that expatriates liked going to a bar in the evenings. For instance, Joseph noted that the expatriates often went to “dipping bar” (泡吧; pao ba) at the end of an event, whereas playing cards, doing Karaoke and having dinner parties are much more popular in Chinese contemporary society. In terms of this diversity, Herbert gave a representative conclusion. He thought that it was not so much fun to spend the whole night in a club with only one bottle of beer, compared with other recreational activities which many Chinese like:

可能生活习惯的问题，我觉得我们这边很多喜欢的东西老外不见得喜欢。比如说 唱卡拉OK呀，或者说是中国人喜欢什么玩牌这样，那这种老外是没法理解。然他

们喜欢的东西很多我看起来也会比较无聊。在（国外）念书的时候，我真的觉得 酒吧没有什么意思：就在那里拿一瓶啤酒喝一晚上，相互聊天这样子也没怎么 样……他们所谓的social life其实就是酒吧。(Herbert)

Probably owing to different customs and habits, foreigners may not like many recreational activities that Chinese love. For instance, they cannot understand why Chinese like to sing Karaoke and play cards. However, many of the things they like are fairly boring for us. When I was studying abroad, I really felt that it was not interesting to spend time in the bar at night with one bottle of beer, and do nothing except chat with each other…Their so-called social life is actually going to a bar. (Herbert)

Compared with “dipping bar”, playing cards, Karaoke and dinner parties are much more collective. People in a bar can do whatever they like, such as drinking alone or chatting with friends, while people playing cards, doing Karaoke and having dinner parties need to look after each other since all these are collective activities. Furthermore, according to Yum (1988), personal and public relationships often overlap under the impact of Confucian principles. Hence, Chinese people tend to maintain and develop interpersonal relationships through these types of entertainment.

Paying for themselves on collective occasions

In addition to “dipping bar”, the participants also noticed that the expatriates usually paid for themselves, even when “hanging out” with their friends, which surprised the participants at the beginning. In the course of the interviews, some participants used the English phrases “go Dutch” or “AA” to describe this phenomenon. As Ellen mentioned,

[外国人]邀你去吃饭，就是AA制的这种，不会说是请你吃饭。(而)我们中国人的 话，邀请你一起吃饭就是由我来付费这样一个意思。(Ellen)

If [foreigner] invites you for a meal, he/she means AA rather than paying for you. However，when we Chinese invite you for a meal, it indicates that we will pay for the meal. (Ellen)

normal to “go Dutch” even with senior or superior staff at UNNC. In the eyes of Lin, this was the biggest cultural diversity between Chinese and Western people. The following conversation between Rebecca and myself shows Rebecca’s attitude to it: 被采访者：……我们特别特别受不了跟他们一起去吃饭……包括星期五我们开的 这个Party，全部都是‘go Dutch’，连零钱都算得很清楚，我最受不了这个。这个其 实挺好的。 采访者：也是一种文化差异。 被采访者：就是文化差异。最大的一个文化差异，你觉得很怪。中国人就是大家 轮流请客。 采访者：外方如果没有约定就是我邀请的话，一般都是go Dutch。 被采访者：这个就是我最受不了的。

Rebecca: …I cannot tolerate their ‘going Dutch’ when going out for a dinner party. Even the change is shared out equally between them. Actually it is quite good.

Interviewer: It is a cultural difference as well.

Rebecca: It is one of the biggest cultural differences. It is strange to Chinese. Chinese prefer to pay the bill in turn.

Interviewer: They usually go Dutch unless an agreement is reached beforehand.

Rebecca: I cannot tolerate this at all.

Similarly, Robert also felt that it was to some extent quite ruthless, especially when socialising with friends. Following Chinese custom, he thought that

……假如说我们是朋友，今天我请你吃饭的话，那很明显你下一次自动就会[回 请]……那这个也是就是说保证这个朋友的一个友谊这么持续的一个有效的方式。 但是可能外国人来说的话，就出去按什么都AA。但是用我们的文化来说的话，就 是挺无情的在一定程度上。为什么要分得这么清楚，连一分一毛都要分的很清楚？ (Robert)

…If I invite you for a meal today as we are friends, obviously next time you will do the same thing in return….It is an effective way to maintain friendship. But for foreigners, they prefer to go Dutch for everything, which is to some extent quite ruthless from the perspective of our culture. Why should we calculate so precisely, even one pence or one coin? (Robert)

It can be seen from the above accounts that the expatriates seem to take “going Dutch” for granted but this is not popular among HCS. Yum (1988) uses Confucian principles to explain this difference. From the perspective of Confucian long-term asymmetrical reciprocity in interpersonal relationships, people do not calculate immediate giving or receiving. Rather, they pursue long-term interdependence and reciprocity. Under the impact of this principle, Chinese people are used to taking turns to pay for a meal and entertainment with friends rather than “go Dutch". Chinese people rarely pay for themselves at collective events. At most, the event organiser will ask the attendees to pay the average cost before or after. According to Confucian principles, discussing money, especially with friends on public occasions, tends to result in losing face and damaging a harmonious atmosphere and hence is not encouraged.

Using email for confirmation

In addition to the above differences manifested in daily life, one habit in the workplace was noticeable from the perspective of the participants. It was that the expatriates usually confirmed the result via email after a discussion or meeting. As Kelly remarked,

其实我觉得大部分那些老外还是会就是说发电子邮件为主，我觉得这可能也是他 们沟通的一种习惯……比如说我跟老外为某一件事情有一个discussion或者一种 meeting，稍后的话为了confirm双方之间的观点，就像你现在做的一样，我们会通 过email用文字confirm下来。(Kelly)

According to my experience, foreigners are used to communicating by email…For instance, if a foreign member of staff and I have a discussion or meeting on something, then we confirm the viewpoints of both parties by email later. (Kelly)

他们比较注重写，他们比较喜欢有一个record下来。就是说不管开会也好，还是一 件事情的处理，他们都喜欢用文字来记录一下东西……confirm一下，然后也是有 利于比如说几年之后回顾。(Veronica)

They pay more attention to the written form, in other words, they prefer to record something after an event such as a meeting or sorting an issue out. It means that they tend to make a record for later confirmation and future review after some years. (Veronica)

Again, this can be explained by Confucian principles. Truthfulness is regarded as one of the traditional Chinese virtues and basic social ethics. Under the constraints of this virtue, Chinese embrace yan chu bi xing (言出必行; so said, so do) and yi

yan jiu ding (一言九鼎; one word is as heavy as nine tripods). Hence, Chinese

traditional culture does not encourage people to speak a lot on public occasions but you need to stand by your promise. Traditionally, Chinese people are not used to asking for written confirmation in the workplace, unless in very formal circumstances such as meetings. Even in some official circumstances, it is not abnormal for official instructions to be verbally relayed by officials of a higher level to those of a lower level. Reflecting on this habit brought by the expatriates, some participants acknowledged that it was beneficial to avoid misunderstanding in interpersonal encounters. In addition, as Veronica mentioned, it was also helpful for reviewing.

To sum up, “liking going to the pub” and “going Dutch” were common in daily life among the expatriates from the perspective of HCS. Chinese people were not used to these habits although one person admitted that she had been used to the latter. In addition, the participants noticed that the expatriates used email to confirm things which had been agreed upon.