VC and IVC is a result of having difficult childhood experiences

Discussion

My participants discussed a number of factors that occur in childhood that could affect an individual’s choice to be a parent. They focused primarily on their female patients. Some of my participants referred to the difficult relationships that their childless patients had with their mothers during their childhood. As mentioned in Chapter two Kaltrieder and Margolis’ (1977) study of 33 VC women concluded that a woman may unconsciously choose to be childless or infertile because of the influence of the mother. Pines (1993) observed that many of her infertile female patients had conflicted relationships with their mothers and that unconsciously they did not believe that their mothers had given them permission to bear their own child. This often lead to difficulties in women separating from

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their mothers but Chodorow (1998) states that a woman will always have difficulty in separating from her mother as the mother has a greater identification with the female baby than with the male one.

In her paper ‘Women’s Experiential Journey towards Voluntary Childlessness’, Rachel Shaw (2011), a psychologist, carried out interviews with VC women. One of her participants wished to avoid repeating the bad mothering she herself had received whilst another had a mother with a mental illness and thus had to mother her own mother. Shaw (2011) speculates whether unconsciously her participant did not want to repeat the cycle. This was echoed by Rosen (2002) a psychoanalyst, who focuses on a patient who was infertile as she had ‘left it too late’ because unconsciously she feared she could not mother or love a child. Her own mother was psychotic, and her father was bipolar. Rosen (2002) refers to another patient who believed that her sterility was caused by her negative feelings about her own mother. Even though this woman discovered that this was not the cause of her sterility, she could not free herself of this phantasy. Two of Angela’s patients also allowed her the opportunity to note the apparent psychogenic link between emotions and fertility.

Stuart (2011), a psychoanalyst, describes another influence of the mother in discussing a patient whose mother was a high-powered career woman and was very ambivalent about motherhood. The patient was VC as she did not want to replicate this kind of mothering. This patient too had a fear of passing on a family congenital illness and was advised by her father not to have children.

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The participants in my study frequently referred to how patients might consciously attribute their VC choice or ambivalence to not being able to find the right partner or wanting to focus on their careers, unconsciously however, the participants believed they eschewed motherhood. Cathy and Angela spoke about the fear that some patients had of having a biological child of their own and a view that is supported by Morris (1997). She refers to women in their thirties who have an emergent awareness of difficulties that have not been resolved with their mothers and this often manifests in fears of being destroyed by a foetus, as it can be perceived as a foreign body that will result in death. Often these patients may also suffer from anorexia or amenorrhea and may want to get pregnant to save a marriage. An observation made by Mori (2012) is that sometimes, infertile women feel less distressed when a pregnancy does not arise as they are saved from harm. Fornari (1981), as cited in Mori (2012 p.175), refers to ‘genetic anxieties’ that are often transmitted over several generations. This group of infertile women may prefer to adopt a child as this provides more certainty for them. Angela and Cathy refer to patients who are happy to adopt or have surrogate children as an alternative to having children of their own. Chodorow (2003) and Almond (2010) also discuss patients who fear giving birth to monster children as a result of their difficult relationships with their mothers. In 5.5.2 Cathy referred to the VC choice of one of her patients because of the unconscious fear of giving birth to a dead baby.

From a sociological perspective, Veveer’s (1980) study of VC shows how some women did choose VC because of what she calls the ‘little mother syndrome’.

Beth and Angela referred to patients who had spent much of their childhoods taking care of their mothers. As to be expected Veveer’s research was much

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more focused on the external factors such as pronatalism, cultural discourse, inequalities and prejudices existing within society, including within psychoanalysis.

Three of my participants referred to the relationship that their childless patients had with their fathers. Men are influenced too by our gender-biased society, and fathers, like mothers, are affected by the social, biological and psychological pressure to reproduce. It can be seen that the influence of the father on VC women is very significant. Williams (1986), a psychoanalyst, argues how it is important for a girl to experience her father as nourishing in order to feel creative, while others (Kaltreider and Margolis, 1977; 1980; Ireland, 1993) described how some of the women in their studies identified with their fathers’ professional aspirations. Their early identification was one of being achievers rather than ‘little mothers’. Kaltrieder and Margolis who were psychoanalysts inferred that these women had not resolved the female Oedipus complex, (see 2.2.2) whilst Ireland, who is also a psychoanalyst took the view that identifying with the father’s aspirations was a positive one for the women involved. Sociologist Veveers (1980) supported Ireland’s view.

Angela, Cathy and Denise all referred to the effect of the parental couple’s relationship on the VC choice, which was highlighted in my literature review.

Williams (1986), states: “the triadic configuration is pivotal then for the girls developing object relations and wish to have a baby” (1986:189). Williams states that Klein along with other psychoanalysts ignores the father’s attitude towards women. The man’s relationship with his daughter will be affected by sexism and racism in society as “fathers like mothers, are agents of social as well as

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biological and psychological reproduction” (Williams, 1986:190). Williams supports a biopsychosocial approach to an understanding of VC. Almond (2010) describes a patient who identified with her father and who turned to him for support and approval because of her mother’s youth and immaturity. She did not want to be a man but neither did she want to be a mother as this did not figure positively in her conscious and unconscious world. This sounds similar to Cathy’s patients who had insecure gender identities.

Both Cathy and Denise took the view that some of their patients were childless because they themselves were not the child the parent wanted. This left them with a confused sense of their own sexual identity. My literature review did not highlight this aspect of my findings so this offers a new perspective on how psychoanalysts understand the VC choice. However, psychoanalyst Alizade (2006) discusses a patient whose father wanted her aborted. She was afraid of having children nor did she want to have abortions like her mother. The patient felt that her experiences in childhood had not equipped her emotionally to care for a child. The patient eventually had tubal ligation, and Alizade interpreted this as an “another expression of a deep rooted desire for life” (2006 p.57). The womb had now become a safe place and Alizade argues that “non maternal desire is usually both a protective defence and the expression of positive development of a psychic stream” (2006 p.55).