Verbal communication about religious difference

• Communication about religious difference in specific situations

• Avoiding communication about religious difference

• Causes for low communication about religious difference

Communication about religious difference in specific situations

In the Islamic kindergarten, the religious habits of Muslim children and parents are dis-cussed. For example, they check whether food brought by the children is halal. Before visiting the mosque, the children are instructed to put on a top with long sleeves. If a child wears a headscarf, it is noticed by the teacher and the child is asked if he or she has grandma’s headscarf, because the mother never wears one. The teachers deal with the religious habits of their parents. If they notice negative effects on the child, they might approach the parents with the request to change the behaviour that is having a negative effect on the child. The Christian teacher refuses to use an Arabic greeting, although a father of a child requested the greeting . The greeting “Grüß Gott” [may God bless you], was not accepted by the father which is why she welcomes the father with “Good morning”, who accepts this over time.

In the Catholic kindergarten, parents who do not agree to their child’s participation in religious festivals are called so that they can pick up their child before the festival or not bring it to the kindergarten on the day in question.

Avoiding communication about religious difference

There is a lack of communication about religious difference and an avoidance of situ-ations that could clarify religious difference .

During the registration interview, the head of the Catholic kindergarten does not ask the parents about the reason for the children’s vegetarian diet, although she suspects religious reasons. It would be okay for the director if parents did not want to celebrate festivals in church. However, the parents do not express an opinion and the director does not ask the parents for their opinion. The director does not know what Muslim women think about the celebrations in the church and fears that they wrongly think they have to participate because otherwise this will have negative consequences for the children.

Conflicts that arise, such as the complaint of a mother who does not want her child to make a sign of the cross, are not discussed with the children or with the teachers.

The desire to celebrate festivals other than Christian festivals in the kindergarten originates from the kindergarten director and the celebration of the Eid Al-Adha is initiated by her. The kindergarten teachers do not communicate clearly with each other in advance how, for example, the Eid Al-Adha is to be organised and who is to be present. One week before the planned celebration of the Eid, the kindergarten director and a kindergarten teacher have a short talk in which the kindergarten director dis-cusses the Eid planned for next week, whereupon the kindergarten teacher expresses her incomprehension as to why all children should be involved in it. This objection remains unthematised. Directly before the festival, there is a brief disagreement as to which teachers should attend the festival, as the director wishes all teachers to be present, while one teacher considers it more important to support the assistant in the garden. The teachers do not know whether the parents would like to celebrate the festivals of their religion in kindergarten and do not discuss this with the parents. It is perceived by a teacher that children are embarrassed to talk about their religious expressions because they notice that they are different. This statement is not used as an occasion to work on this with the children. In kindergarten, it is not discussed if children do not take part in festivals because of their religious affiliation, but parents are expected to explain this to the children at home, however, this expectation is not discussed with the parents. The desire not to address religious differences is also evident in the offered food. Thus, in the Catholic kindergarten, generally no pork is offered and in the Islamic kindergarten, one tries to go the middle way in the strictness of the offered halal meal in order not to offend anybody.

Causes for avoiding communication about religious difference

In both kindergartens, the kindergarten director is aware that religious difference exists, but there is a tendency in everyday kindergarten life to avoid situations in which religious difference could be discernible and experienced by the children. The

reasons given for low communication about religious difference are not to be under-stood exclusively and clearly differentiated from one another, but often apply to indi-vidual persons for several reasons.

• Equal treatment for all children

• Avoiding challenges and conflicts

• Satisfaction of all involved

• Commitment to tradition

• Reference to sponsorship

• Lack of knowledge

• Religious education as a means of conveying values

• Religion as staging

• Religion as a “matter of privacy”

Equal treatment for all children

To prevent children from experiencing non-affiliation and isolation, religious differ-ence is not discussed and it is attempted to treat all children equally. This is given as a reason for celebrations without a religious background, so that all children can participate equally and feel that they belong. This practice is not intended to exclude children. No child should feel that he or she is not part of the group and that he or she is different.

Avoiding challenges and conflicts

Religious difference is seen from the perspective of being a challenge. Therefore, it is considered an advantage if religious difference is not addressed, as this can provoke conflicts and problems. A conflict between a mother and a teacher about the sign of the cross in kindergarten is neither discussed among kindergarten teachers nor with the children, although some children have heard the conversation. The silence about the conflict was guided by the hope that it would resolve itself.

Satisfaction of all involved

An attempt is made to strike a balance between the different demands of the parents so that everyone involved in kindergarten activities is satisfied. The director of the Islamic kindergarten wishes the satisfaction of all involved in the events of the kin-dergarten. The choice of halal food is based on an averaged strict interpretation to meet the needs of all parents. Sensitive handling of the internal Islamic diversity and the wishes and religious attitudes of the parents, who are the customers, is necessary, because their satisfaction is decisive for the attendance of the kindergarten.

Commitment to tradition

In the Catholic kindergarten, the celebration of festivals continues in the way it is tra-ditionally done in the kindergarten, with a strong tradition of how and where certain festivals are celebrated. With reference to St. Martin’s, the question is asked whether

the celebration should take place in the church or in a neutral place, such as a hall.

Despite the director’s reservations about celebrating in the church because many Mus-lim children are in kindergarten, St. Martin’s is celebrated in the church, as it has always been A change would cause an uproar, lead to conflict and be a challenge, which is why the director does not encourage it.

Reference to sponsorship

The religious orientation of the kindergarten in a clearly declared religious sponsor-ship is used as a reason why only the religion of the sponsorsponsor-ship and not religious difference is addressed in the kindergarten.

Lack of knowledge

Another reason for the low thematisation of religious difference is a lack of knowledge about other religions. Since it is impossible to obtain sufficient information about all religions, the different religions are not discussed. The teachers know superficially about some aspects of the religions to which they do not belong, but are too insecure to talk to children or parents about their religion and to discuss religious differences.

Fearing to say something wrong, they remain silent about different religions and reli-gious differences. The teachers do not want to tell the children about a religion that they do not practice themselves, because they find it difficult if religious expressions and rituals are explained by a person who is not familiar with them.

Lack of knowledge can lead to irritation and alienation of kindergarten teachers by another religion, for example when visiting a mosque and the children are allowed to run in the mosque. This disconcerting situation and the feeling that the original intention did not lead to success with the children, leads to irritation of the teacher and does not motivate for further attempts to include other religions.

Religious education as a means of conveying values

Religious education is focused on teaching values. The director of the Catholic kin-dergarten emphasises the importance of communicating values that would affect all children, since all children should learn to thank, all should know that bread should not be thrown away and one should be respectful of nature and the environment. Reli-gious difference is not important in this context, but the common, all that unites is emphasised, the different religions are reduced to mediating values and thus unified, homogenised, as it is expressed in the sentence “Muslims also find sharing good”⁶²⁹. Religion as staging

Religious themes are often staged by the children rehearsing role plays or dances in everyday life and presenting them to their parents without being able to give the reli-gious reason for this performance. The focus is on the performance and representation of the kindergarten, not the religious dimension of the festival. Consideration for

reli-629 Research diary, Catholic kindergarten, excerpt from conversation with director, 195.

gious difference would change the design of the festival and there would be the danger of not conveying a uniform image of the kindergarten. The children are not involved in the decision on the form of the religious organisation of the celebrations, they are involved exclusively by the rehearsal of the songs or dances given by the teachers and by demonstrating these at the celebration. The festivals planned with the parents are preceded by a long and intensive period of preparation, which ends with a dress rehearsal. At the festival, the children sing to their parents, present a play or dance for them. These celebrations are characterised by performance character, and the parents are proud of the presentation performed by their children. These celebrations, whether religious or secular, are a children’s performance for parents. How the children like the festival and whether it is a children’s festival remains of secondary importance. This becomes particularly clear during the rehearsals for the performance as well as during the performance, in which children cry and do not want to take part, but still have to do so. Religious difference is a disturbing factor in this access to religion, which is not taken into account.

Religion as a “matter of privacy”

The teachers see it as the task of the parents to educate the children religiously and to provide them with information about their religion, since the kindergarten cannot do this, because the teachers cannot know about all religions. Moreover, too many reli-gious topics and too many relireli-gious celebrations would not do justice to the interests of children. Without asking parents and children if they want to celebrate their religion in kindergarten, it is assumed that parents are not interested. The teacher suspects that the parents do not want an unbeliever, as she thinks to be in the eyes of some par-ents, to educate their children religiously. The responsibility to tell the children about religious expressions of the minor religions in kindergarten lies with the parents. If children are not allowed to participate in certain festivities in the kindergarten or to perform certain gestures, such as the sign of the cross, it is up to the parents to explain the reason for this to the children.