Have you ever thought, “I tried that EFT and it didn’t work,” or, “How is it that I am tapping all this time and getting so nowhere?” If you have temporarily faltered in your EFT journey, these tips are for you.
1. The One-Minute Wonder
Sometimes, when we first learn EFT, we are fortunate enough to experience or watch one of those amazing demonstrations that result in profound, and
seemingly instant, change. We refer to these as a One-Minute Wonders. They are so exciting and satisfying. They seem so easy and so effective. No wonder people talk about EFT as the best thing since sliced bread. This kind of
transforming success can build our expectation that every session will be like that. When we try it out at home on our own and the problem does not instantly resolve, we feel disappointed and discouraged. We may wonder if there is something the matter with us. Sometimes we lose heart and give up.
The one-minute wonders that you see in demonstrations do happen, but not all the time. Trainers who work with groups are usually very experienced and able to employ a range of sophisticated EFT techniques. Good trainers make intuitive judgments about which issue to address, the language to use, and the best technique for the situation. You as a Newbie are still learning the basics. Keep tapping until the process becomes second nature.
2. When EFT hasn’t worked YET
It would be easy to head this paragraph “EFT doesn’t work for me”. This is what disappointed clients say. But when I reframe it as “EFT hasn’t workedYET,” I shift our focus away from failure and we can hold the “yet” as a positive intention.
The metaphor that guides me here and the one I use most frequently is the image of water dripping on a stone. It might take a while to see the effect, but every time EFT “doesn’t work,” we learn another lesson about ourselves and about what works and what doesn’t work for each situation.
3. Do EFT for EFT
When someone tells me that he or she forgot to use EFT at home, or decided not to use it, we might discuss the reasons, and the client may promise to “try
harder.” At that point, I suggest that tapping now would be useful, and that we will do EFT for EFT.
Even though this tapping stuff isn’t working, I fully and completely accept myself....
Even though I forget to do EFT when it would be really useful ....
Even though I have messed it up …
Even though I give up on EFT before I’m fully over the problem .…
When we have lowered our discomfort, frustration, or anxiety about the EFT not working, we will be free to address the next layer of presenting issues. We may even find some specific events involving our own beliefs about success, and we would tap for those. This meta-level of tapping can be very useful.
4. The “felt” experience
One of the ways we know that EFT is really working for us is through “felt”
experience. Most adults do not notice the changes in skin temperature, the constant shifts of muscle tension, and the tightness or lack of muscle tone at any moment. When the EFT seems not to be working, you have probably forgotten to notice what is happening in your body,
It is very useful to stop and notice exactly what has changed. Has the tension gone out of your chest, are your shoulders tense or relaxed, or has the mental picture changed? Does your body feel lighter, your breath easier? Has the thought changed? Teach yourself to notice these changes using all of your senses. Later, you can refer back to the specific experience to find what you might be overlooking or to recapture the feeling of success that you previously discovered.
5. EFT will never work for me
There are some situations where beginners can give up or feel hopeless. There are many reasons that may stop you from reaching instant success. One reason is psychological reversal. When we first learn EFT, we begin to work on
ourselves using the basic skills. We don’t have enough experience and
confidence to treat some deeper issues. This is the time to work one-to-one, in person, by phone, or in a group, with an experienced practitioner who is familiar with the more sophisticated applications of EFT and who will help you recognize and address core experiences and hidden beliefs that may block you from change.
6. What words were you using?
When people tell me that the EFT didn’t work, I ask for specific information about the issue, its aspects, and the phrases the client was saying. This is the way to get specific about what happened or where the protocol might be improved. Write down the issue, the reminder phrase you are using, and the intensity level of your distress in relation to this issue. This is especially important if you are working on your own. Note every change in aspect, and/or intensity after each round. In this way, you will be able to look back and remind yourself of your progress and previous successes. If you are helping someone else with EFT, this record will ensure you can quickly identify any issues that may have been overlooked.
7. Too much too fast?
Because EFT is not working at home does not mean that EFT will not work. It just means it has not worked – yet. Sometime the reason is that we have tried to address one of our truly big issues, one whose distress level is overwhelming.
Try some practice sessions on less intense issues, or choose a less arousing aspect of your problem before going back to the BIG ONE.
8. The EFT Skeptics’ Society
Most of us have had years of experience of using the thinking-talking-trying harder process of therapeutic change, and in the beginning we may find
ourselves drifting back to a talk model, because we find it very difficult to believe that something as strange as EFT will really work.
Those of us who are health professionals know that many of our colleagues are still skeptical about EFT. I remember that it took me some time before I routinely used EFT on myself. I chose a few colleagues with whom to share what I was learning, and gradually I became more confident about presenting EFT to others.
Now I use it on everything and cannot imagine how I ever lived without EFT.
Find a friend, colleague or professional who knows and uses EFT. If you don’t know any EFT person near you, arrange some telephone coaching, subscribe to an EFT newsletter, and read accounts from others about their success with EFT.
Keep up to date with innovations through internet newsletters. Support may be the very thing that makes the difference.
Once you have achieved a high rate of success with EFT in your own life, other people’s skepticism really does not matter. You can change your response to others with a little tapping: Even though I really hate the way she rolls her eyes when I mention EFT....
9. Testing, testing, testing
Are you testing at home? What are you testing? In my practice this is the thing that new clients find the most difficult to do consistently at home. Is it possible that you wandered off target?
Before you decide that EFT is not working for you, write down your distress level and the problem’s aspects for every round. Some issues take several rounds before they completely clear. I suggest to my clients that if they think there is no change, they should be prepared to do up to five rounds at any one level of intensity before they move to a new aspect or topic. If you carefully record your intensity rate and are clear about the aspect you’re treating, you will probably find yourself making progress.
10. Back to basics with “The EFT Course”
The EFT Course is presented in Gary Craig’s EFT Manual and introductory DVDs. The EFT manual remains the definitive source of EFT theory and practice.
Experienced therapists have been integrating EFT with many other psychological and physiological forms of healing, while others have been creating variations that we sometimes call EFT’’s “cousins.” If EFT is not working for you, check to be sure that you are following all of the EFT basics in your sessions at home.
Then, in the words of family therapist Virginia Satir, ”Try it on everything and swallow only what fits.”
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