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3-11-2005
Fears
Vincent Carl Gothard
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GRADUATE THESIS
SCHOOL OF PHOTOGRAPHIC ARTS AND SCIENCES
ROCHESTER INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
By
Vincent C.
Gothard
The
following members
of
the faculty
have
agreed
to serve
as the
Thesis Board
Committee:
Thesis
Chair:
Jeff
Weiss
Jeff Weiss
Date
~
1
'-
->5'!
CJr
I
Jeff Weiss, Professor, Fine Art
Photography
Departm~nt
/
/
Elliott Rubenstein
Date
~,-Elliott Rubenstein
, Professor,
Fine Art Photography Department
T. Mulligan
Date
"37/~;
I, Vincent Carl Gothard, hereby grant perrnssion to the Wallace
Memorial Library of RIT to reproduce my thesis in whole or in
part. Any reproduction will not be for commercial use or profit.
v.
C. Gotha rd
Signature
11
March, 2005
~i
///.
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x
(y
I
,
Vincent Carl Gothard, hereby grant permssion to the Wallace
Memorial Library of RIT to reproduce my thesis in whole or in
part. Any reproduction will not be for commercial use or profit.
v.
C. Gotha rd
Signature
11 March
,
2005
I
wouldto think
everyonethat
madethis
possible.To my
motherthat
pushed meto
alwaysbe better.
To my
wife andchildren,
without your support andlove I don't
think
I
couldhave
madeit.
To
all ofarefriends
atthe
RIT
community.Thanks!
Finally,
to
my
thesis
committee,
thank
youfor
your support andpatience with
helping
meto
achievemy
goals as a person and asWnJbM
a>ff CmiMmtM
Chapter 1
Artist Statement
1
Chapter 2
Artist Introduction
2
Chapter 3
Beginning
3
Influences
3
Undergraduate
Study
13
Chapter 4
First Year
22
Fall Walkthrough
(Hard
times
begin)
22
Winter
Walkthrough
(The
Isolation)
24
Spring
Walkthrough (The
Truss)
27
Chapter 5
Second Year
29
The Direction
ofQuestions
29
Chapter
6
Thesis
37
Thesis Show
37
Thesis Defense
41
Chapter
7
Conclusion
45
Chapter
8
Questions
andQuotes
46
Bibliography
49
1
Artist $ttetm%wt
Throughout
allthe
years ofcreating
artfor
anaudience, crafting
an artist statement still remainsthe
hardest
processfor
me.How
does
one explain yearsof
emotions,
thought,
and actionsin
just
afew lines
orparagraphs?
For
me,
my
work changes asquickly
asthe
cloudsan artist
I
amthe
changing
winds.There
is
ahidden
force
that
every
artistlooks for
in
their
workthat
answersthe
question:
Why?
Or
What? I
think
ofit
as"The Process".
My
workis
a reactionto
my
inner
emotions.I'm
notsaying
that
my
artis
simplein
meaning.Take
a soccer playerthat
is
getting
ready
to
kick
aball but
this
particular playerhas
five feet
onone
leg. So
when onekicks
the
ball it is
almostimpossible
to
just
hit it
withonefoot:
thereforethe
ball
has
avery
different
look
to
it
as it goes
through the air,
because
more than onefoot
struckthe
ball.
Creating
art is identicalto
thefive footed
soccer player.I
begin creating
with one emotionin
mindbut
astime
passes emotions change.
New
spinsbecome
embedded intothe
workandI
endup
with a creation that is severallayers deep. Sometime
the
webbing
oflayers becomes
so entangledthat
I have
difficulty
separating
the
visuallayers in my
mind.Untitled Litho Film
8"x10"
Chapter
2
Artist
Introduction
I
wasborn in
a metropolitan area ofOrlando,
Florida.
I
took to
drawing
aboutthe
same age asany
young
boy
does
to
avoidboredom. It's
justthat
I
never grew out ofthe
doodling
stage.I
have
typically
usedarttochannel emotionsthat
I
just
did
notknow how
to
understand.
By
the time
I
reachedhigh
school,
I
devel
oped a
pretty
goodfoundation
invisual arts.At
the
endof
high
school,
my
teachers
encouraged meto
goto
college andhone
my
skills.Attending
my
local
community college, I
got a realtaste
ofhow many
different
mediums therewere.I
waslike
akid in
a
toy
store.I
didn't
settlewithone mediumuntilI
took
a photography
class.Even
thenI
had
nointension
offocusing
on photography.I
enjoyedthe
fact
that
other mediums offereddifferent
solutionsto
my shifting
emotions.It
wasn'tuntilI
transferred
to afour
year university
that
I
startedto
direct
myselfto the
mediumofphotography.I
wasfloored
to
find
outthat
university didn't have
as muchto
offerthan
acommunity
college.This
was wheremy
worldbegan. The love-hate relationship
of
creating
art and the questions of oneself and the process ofbecoming.
Untitled Detailedphoto ofInstallation B/W Photo 40"
x
60"
Artistic Influences
Influences
are everywherethrough
out
my
life;
objects, symbols,
and eventheory
have dramatic
effectsin
the
way I
usemy
senses.
As
an artistI
found
stimulatesevery
where
in
my
surroundings.To simplify my
thoughts
asI
write,
influences
comein
two
ways: artist
that
create or usetechniques that
stimulate me and
theory
that
supportsthe
making
of art.Artist
that
create or usetech
niques
that
stimulate me arebroken
down
into
three
groups:painters,
photographers,
and sculptures.While
painters
generally
influenced
my
attitudetowards
subjectmatter,
photographers
influenced my
notion ofcraft and composition.Final
sculptures and
installation
artist were alsodrawn
uponfor
tech
niques andpresentation.
Finally,
the
secondgroup
is
theorists that
support
the
making
of art.I
will nottry
to
hide
the
fact
that this
group has
less
of animpact
onmy
work.When I
do lean
toward
The
following
artistshelped
me create a mind set ormentalsetting.
Francisco
de Goya has
alwaysbeen
aninfluence
Far LeftSaturnDevouringHis
on
me,
Goya's
realistichellish
visions.It
seems as 182^-1823 146x83cmthough
his
emotionsdrive his
art work.After
someresearch,
I
found
that there
was a commonground,
it
was
hate. It
wasn't untilI
gotto
my later
years ofundergrad
that
I
startedto
realizedhow hated drove
me andmy
creations.
According
toDavid
Sylvester from his book About
Modem
Art,
"Others
have
createdimages
asterrible
ashis
(Goya)
of man's
inhumanity
to man,
but
no other major artisthas
conceivedofa world so
comprehensively
consumedby
hate"(inter-net).
I
can not evenremotely imagine
the
hated
ofwar asGoya
saw
it. I
still canonly
relateto
hated
based
onmy failures. Goya's
Crucified Christ 1780 etches
fascinated
mefor
truthfulness ofthe time
and the piece of onon canvas253x153cm
historic clarity
thatthey
represented.The
detail
to the
surroundingsand
reality,
alsohis
effortto
exploitthe situationhad
anintriguing
interest
to
me.I
wasintrigued in
thechangethat
Goya's
work wentthrough as
he
startedto
lose his
emotionalgrasp
onreality,
whenthe
darkness
ofhis
surroundings startedto take
overhis
world.TheShootingsofMay Third 1808 1814 Oilon canvas
104x136in.
Estoes peor
1812-1813
EtchingwithLavis 15.7x20.7cm
The Colossus 1808-1812
Salvador
Dali's influence
providedan inter- FaMeftThe Anthropomorphic
esting
contrastto
Goya's
in
terms
ofhis
sense of ^3distortion.
Even
though the
elementsin
Dali's
painting
arerecognizable,
I
was visually
struckby
the
way he
distorted
andbent
reality
to
createhis
surroundings.It
givethe
idea
that time
is
aflexible
piece of mylar
that
canbe
stretched,
m.twisted,
or meltedto
form
Soft ConstructionwithBoiled Beans-PremonitionofCivil War
a new environment
based
1936on
the
interior
self.^
GardenofEarthlyDelights 1510
Oilon panel
Hieronymus Bosh brought
anuncontrollable senseofreality
and chaosto the canvas,
his
environments always seemto
create
layers
ofdistortion. This
is
wheremy
visualperceptionbegins.
These influences
were some ofthe
artiststhat
startedto
affect mein
my
midto
late
teens.It
was notuntilI
changedmy
focus
to
photography
that
I
found it
possibleto
createworkthat
couldconvey
my
worldthat
lied
within.The
Photographers
I
have
adopted one or moretechniques
from
eachartist,
in
order
to
createmy
individualized
conceptthat
satisfied me.I
started
to
look
atthe
works ofphotographers andsculptors,
andonly
paying
attentionto the
elementsthat
they
usedand compositionin
which
they
presentedtheirvisualworld.I
also wasinterested in
thetechniques
whichthey
developed.
Edward Weston brought
the
beauty
ofform.
pgrppeftr1930
It did
notmatter whatthe subject matterwas,
the IZteZTpm9^form
excited me asthe
light
and smoothness ofeach
form
had
aflow
toit. Perception is
changedby
Weston's
handling
of afamiliar
object m a newway,
altering
ourreality
ofthat
objectfor
ever.
This
simpleuse ofperception wascalming
andhelped
to
easy
the
reality
ofthe surroundings.Nude 1936(227N) EdwardWeston negative Cole Westonpnnt
Jan
Saudek's
workaffected meina similar way.But
I
felt
that
more attention was paidto the
surroundingsm which
the
subject matter existed.The warming
ofthe tones
and softnessofthe
background
formed
visualcomfortfor
the
subject matter.Above
Uciteltance Untitled(FemaleNude) Hand-coloredsilver print,
980s
Jerry
Uelsmenn
brought
the
element ofdistortion
and creditability.
I
wasvisually
arousedby
both
the tech
nique and
the
manipulation ofreality.The
work wassoothing
to the
visual stress ofthe
environmentthat
he
created.I
felt
that the
work was effective muchlike
Dali's but
usedthe
medium
I
wishto
workin (photography).
Above Untitled
(man standingonbook,on
map,ontable,inroom withsky)
1976
Untitled
(Waterfallandfloatingrowboat)
1997
Untitled
(handsthrough sphere,cloud
gate) 1983
Untitled
(pedimented"scientist"
buil-Joel Peter Wiktin's
workof manipulations wasbold,
'1n9"ree)but
yetit
soothed me.The
visual exploitation ofreality
to
those
whom weredifferent
andthe
feeling
ofthe
relationship
between
subjectmatterinterested
me.I
felt
asif
there
wasa personal
bond,
otherwisehow
could someonelet
themselves
be
exploited so
boldly. As
much asWiktin
wanted,
in my
opinion,
chaos
in
his
work,
it
was alsovery
controlled.He
manipulatedthe
environment
in
orderto
have
control.This
being
my
visualpercep
tion
ofhis
worktrue
or notbecame
amajorinfluence
in
the
way I
viewed
reality
andcontrolling my
surroundings.Farlefttop Sanatorium
1987
Farleft bottom Las Meninas 1987
I Center I MotherandChild I (withRetractor,Screaming)
1979
Another
photographerArthur
Tress
gavesup
port
to the
relationship between
the
creatorand
the
subjectin
the
line
of studiesthat
he
was
doing
with children'sdreams. I
felt
the
environment controlled
the relationship,
even thoughthe
creatorcontrolled
the
surroundings.It
wasthis
struggle of controlthat
became
a majorissue in
my
work,
challenging my
process of shafting
visually.Aboveleft Fantastic Voyage DateUnknown
MaleoftheSpecies 26x26cm
WomaninBebwitha
groupofLarge Sea Turtles
1975
Ralph Eugene Meatyard
brought
more subject
matterto
thetable
withhis
use of masks.It
is
the
fear
ofloosing
controlthat the
maskofferedmeashield.
By
using
a maskI
couldconcealmy iden
tity
from
theviewers,
andhave
alittle bit
ofdenial
andlack
ofcon-Far lefttop
Lucybelle Craterand sequences.
It
creates alost
sense ofreality
and allowed meto
feel
dose fnend LucybeeieCrater in thegrape arbor
more
in
control ofthe
harshness
ofthe
surroundings. 1971Farleft bottom Untitled Maskin Water 1 974
ZA
Center
RomanceofAmbrose Bierce #3
Portfolio Three: The Work
ofRalph Eugene Meatyard 1974
The Starn Twins
(Mike
andDoug)
creativity
to
bring
some ofthe
photo graphs offthe
wall and survivein
athree
dimensional
world wasbold.
This
change oftraditional
display
brought
endlessideas
ofcontrol.As I
developed
some
techniques
ofmy
own,
I
felt
asif I
wasmissing
something.I
saw
my reality in
three
dimensional
ways,
but
I
had
no concept of materials.So
I
started to 'MMBMsiBWWB
V:-
'*''look
atsculp
torsand other
similarworks
of art.
Untitled Date Unknown
Amaterasu Date Unknown
TripleChrist HikeandDougStarn
Triple Christ Date Unknown
I
wasinterested in George Segal's
work with plaster andhuman
figures,
sinceI
too
wasworking
alot
withself-portraiture.I liked
the
idea
ofhis installations. It
was asif
you wereseeing
aphotograph
brought
to
life.
But
evenmore,
I
liked
that the
reality
andthe environmentwereboth
controlled.TheHolocaust 1983
The Execution 1977
I
was alsolooking
atAlfredo Jarr's
work.In
FarleftRushes,plotterad altarisoluzione, istallazionenellastazionediSpring Street dellametropolitanadiNew York
1986 some of
his
works, the
viewer's gaze wastaken
away.
The
viewer wasforced
to
viewthe
workthrough the
reflections of an objectto
seethe
imagery,
and,
by
doing
so; the
viewer wouldoccasionally
see a glimpse ofthemselves
in or nextto the
photo.I
enjoyedthis
idea
ofvisual
play
and eventaking
the
artist'scontinuing
reference
to the
viewerin his
work.Eva Hesse
was anotherinfluential
artist.Her
work withmaterials suchas
latex, fiberglass,
andliquids
wasuniquely
organic. These
materialshad
energy
and were always changing.Change
was good
for
me.With
changeI
felt
asifI
couldstay
onestep
aheadof
my
surroundings andthe
pressuresthat
followed. With
materialexploration,
I
couldtry
andachievetherightsurfacefor
my
work.OnemillionFinnish passports, installazioneperArs95(Museo d'artecontemporanea,Helsinski) 1995
AccessionII 1967
Galvanizedsteeland rubber
tubing
Expanded Expansion 1969
Reinforcedfiberglasspolesand rubberizedcheesecloth
BatherofValpincon one
1967
Papier-mache,cord andacrylic
The
Thinkers
Finally,
the
last group
ofartisticinfluences included
artistswhopresented
theoretical
ideas in
their
work.I
enjoy
learning
andreading
aboutartand artmovements.Your
mindis
allowedto
conclude on
its
ownterms. For
methe
best
concepts are open ended.The
subject matter canbe
onany
topic.
What
makesaconceptteas
ing
is
when you walkaway
wanting
more.One
is
moreintrigued
withemptiness
than
fulfillment. Some
ofthe
concep
artit's my
bag
gage verses
their
baggage.
Neither
side wins orloses,
sinceboth
individuals
canbe right
and wrong.What
I
see s afailure is
whenthe
concept canbe
answered; the
image is
whatit is
and nofurther
discussion
needsto
occur.As I
looke
artit's
my
baggage
versestheir
baggage.
Neither
side wins or
loses,
sinceboth individuals
canbe right
and wrong.What I
see as afailure
is
whenthe
concept canbe
answered;
the
image is
whatit is
and nofurther
discussion
needsto
occur.As I
looked back
to
many
ofthe
and self-egobooks
that
I
have
read, the
onesthat
I
tend to
set aside ask questions withoutdirect
answers.Two
ofthese
books
areArt &
Fear
by
David Bayles
andTed
Orland
andThe Artist's
Way
by
Julia
Cameron.
The
book Art
&
Fear introduces
somany
direct
questionsfor
the
artistto think
about.
It's
a guideto
responsibility
andfacing
the
fears
ofcreativity.
The book The Artist's
Way
is
more of a spirituallook
withinto
find
direction
and clarity.I
also readbooks
by
psychologists,
including: Driven
to
Distraction
by
Edward M. Hallowell
andJohn
J.
Ratey
Insearch
by
James
Hillman Dark Night of
theSoul
by
St.
John
ofthe
Cross,
andCare of
theSoul
by
Thomas
Moore,
just
to
name a
few.
I
believe
that
you mustcome closerto
yourselfin
orderto
understand onesinner thought,
I
intend
to
leave
a specialplaceat
the
end ofthis
paperfor
such.Untitled
DrawingExersize Charcoal
30"
x
40"
1994
I
felt
a sense ofinsecurity
regarding
the
new medium ofphotography.
At
first
my
initial
workin photography had
no energy
orlife. It
wasn't untilmy
studies atUniversity
ofCentral Florida
(UCF)
that
I
startedto
see someinteresting
workfrom
fellow
classmates.
One
that
wasworking
with multiple-exposures andanotherwas
altering
surfaces ofthe
photographs.I
tried to
copy
their
styleswith
little
to
no success.The images to the leftare all untitledexamplesof workdone atSeminole
Community
College andUniversityofCentral Florida.Techquinesvareried:
Pinhole Infered
Alteritive Process Multi Media Multi Exposure Negitive Munipulations Multi Negitive
Printing
Work dated from 1992 to 1995
I
had
cometo think that
my surrounding
washolding
meback,
soI
packedup
and changemy
residence.I
left
everything
that
I
knew
assecurity,
my
home,
my
job,
andmy
friends,
andtrans
ferred
to the
University
ofFlorida
(UF)
to
finish my Bachelor
ofFine Arts degree.
At
University
ofFlorida I
felt
I
wasmaking
some newhead
away.
I
wasgetting
exposureto
some new mediums such asmetal,
plaster, pnntmaking,
and others.But my
world was abouttochangewhen one professor
verbally
slammed mefor creating "shit
art".I
lost
alldirection in my
work.I
submerged myselfin
anact of visual
gluttony
by looking
at other artist'sworkto
find
the answersof aprocess
that
couldworkfor
me.At
the
time,
I
wastaking
alarge
format
class andhad
nochoice
but
to
shootin
a studio setting.I
had
never shotin
this type
of
setting before. At
first it
waslike
putting
mein
acage,
my
free
dom
had
felt
stripped.But I
rememberedback
to
a student atUniversity
ofCentral Florida
andhis
attempts at multiple-exposures and some of
the
artistsI
had looked
atduring
my
healing
phase of visual gluttony.
The
process of multiple-exposureshad
features
that
could enhancethe
larger format
andthe
cage-like setting.
Now,
my head
wasbeing
filled
with newinfluences
and newhope
whenI
discovered
the
larger format.
I
usedthe
studioevery
day
for
weeksphotographing
objectsand
teaching
myselfthe
controlfactors
of multiple-exposure.As I
emerged
back
to
my
social statusI had
a new appearanceto
my
work.
SequinceneStudy#57 BA/VPhoto
16"x20"
1996
SequinceneStudy#84 B/W Photo
16" x
20"
1996
Sequincene
Study
#69 BAW Photo16" x20"
1996
BAfVPhoto
16"
x
20"
1996
The
work wasstarting
to
have
the
resemblance oflayers.
Meaning,
the
work wasn't so straightforward.
Images
and objectswere started
to
interact with each otheratmultiplelevels. (Spiritual
presents,
do
to the
ghosteffect,
and multiple actions ofdirection).
The
process ofdiscovery
was overwhelming
to
me.I
waslike
ashark
in
afeeding
frizzy. I
just
kept
taking
photos of agroup
ofobjects that
I had
selected and changedthe
orderin
whichI
shot |^l^eStucly#86them.
I
always achievedvery different
results.Some
good and others
bad. At
this stage of executionmy
focus
was onlearning
to
readthe characteristics of objects to
lower
the
chances ofburning
the
negative outwith
to
muchlight. I
was caughtin
the suspenseoftheoutcome.
The
realfear
came whenit
wastime to
showthe
workto
my
*--peers.
Although,
their reactions weren'tnegative,
some viewersthought the subject matter could
be
pushed more.One
commentwas that
they
showed nolife. I
rememberedback
to
some ofthe
i6-x2oartists
I
wasinfluenced
by,
(such
asEdward
Weston)
andthe
way
he
showedthe
human form
so elegantly.I
also wantedto
try
to
achieve
the
studio control ofJoel Peter Wiktin. I
faced
anotherproblem,
I
wasto
shy
to
askanyoneto
model nude.I
had
already
had
abad
critiquefor photographing
afemale,
soI
decided
to
putmyself in thephoto and shoot
in
the
studio.But
there
was onelast
thing
thatI
feared,
and that was peopleseeing
me nude.That's
when
I
rememberedthe
workofRalph Eugene Meatyard
and used sequincenestudy
#75 B/W Photo16"x20"
themaskto
hide my personality
andidentity.
So
onceagam, I
sub- 1996merged myself
in
thestudio,
I
experimented withthe
process ofSequinceneStudy#83 BAA/ Photo
1996
sequencing
ofusing
myself asthe
main subject matterbut
concealed
my
identity.
MaskSenses BAA/ Photo 40"
x60" 1996
This
timethe
audience response was much more positive.My
peers were intrigued with whatthey
saw,
but
I
remainedin
complete
fear due
to
being
naked.I
felt
vulnerable anddefenseless
against
the
gaze ofmy
peers.It
wasn't untilI
was exposedto
morethree
dimensional
work
that
I felt I
couldcounterbalancethis
anxiety.This
was wheretheinfluencesof
Alfredo
Jarr
and others played a rolein
my
future
work.
My
creations startedto
embracereality
onthe
same scale.Materials became
anissue
for
integrity
andsafety
from
the
surroundings,
and size neededto
be
life
size.Things
had
become
complicated
in
the
blink
of aneye.Untitled
MixedMedia:
Steel.Cardborad,
Wood,Plaster
1997
UntitledInstallation
Mixed Media: B/W
Photos, Bricks,
Plaster 1996
Untitled MixedMedia:
Plexiglass, Hammers, LithoFilm
1997
Class Show Firestone
MixedMedia:Wood, Steel,
Rope, B/WPhoto, Plexiglass,
Worms,Flyes,andMeat
1997
Untitled Steel Chiar 1997
Photographic
size was not much of challenge.But
three
dimensional
realities were alearning
experience, via, trial
by
error.Materials
suchas;
steel, plaster, glass,
mirrors,
andfabrics
wereallnew
to
me andI had
to turn to
research andlook
for
influences,
such as
the
Starn
Twins,
Eva
Hesse,
andGeorge
Segal. I
experimenteda
lot
withthe
construction of materials.But
the
final
challenge
camefrom
increasing
the
sizeofthe
photographto
resemblethe
size ofthe
materialsin
the
surroundings.Much
ofmy
earlierimages
were morelike
free
standing
framing
sculptures.I
would use a selected series of mural photographs and
frame
them
in
the
steelframes.
This way I
could present
them
in
random spaces orallin
one space.I
usedsteel alot in
my
workfor
the
structural strength and assemblage.I
started withtwo
dimensional
steelframes
that
were sometimeslinked
by
chair,
wire,
orpushedinto
the
ground.UntitledInstallation
BAA/ Photosw/Steel Frames
40"
x
60"
1996-1997
Belowarefour detialedviews of the
panels.
UntitledInstallation
DetialedViews After two YearsofAgeing
1998
My
peer's critiquesturned
outto
be
somewhat successful.I
then
startedmaking
morethree
dimensional
frames
that
resembledcages.
These
cages startedto
house
photographs of me.By
this
time,
my interest in installation
art was emerging.Every
idea
that
my
mindpondered wasaboutcontrolling
my
surroundings.Establishing
control was muchharder
to
achievethan
I
Untitled Installation
thought.
In
orderto
challengemy
surroundings,
I
startedto
move Mixed MediaRoom Space6'
x
6'
1997
my
workfrom
onelocation
to
another oncampus,
I
wanted otherpeers would react
to
my
work.On
four
orfive
different
occasions,
I
cameback
to the
site ofmy
workonly
to
find it
vandalized.Most
of
the times
peoplekicked
the
frames
withthe
photographsdown
or
broke
the
steelframes
andI
wouldjust
weldthem
back
togeth
er.
In
oneinstance,
I
movedthe
work and someonehad
splashedared
bucket
ofpaintonthephotographs,
soI
tookmore red paint andadd
to
whatonehad
started.I
was amazed withhow
muchthe
workwent
through
in just
sixmonths.I
wasfinding
myselfenjoying
the
interaction
ofothers on an anonymousscale,
it kept
the
workalivefor
me,
as well as exciting.I
also triedto
develop
installations
in interior
spaces.My
thoughts
wereif
I
can notcontrolthe
outside worldthen
I'll
attemptto
control an environment constructed onthe
inside.
The
results ofthis
were alittle bit
more predictablebecause
I
controlled whoentered
the
space andthe
amount ofthier
interaction
withthe
work.My
interests
in
these types
ofinstallations
soon wonder aftertheir
completion.
I
continuedto
make afew
moreinstallations
asI
awaited reply's
from
graduateschools."Caged"
Installation
Class Showat Blank Space Mixed Media: SteelCages,
BA/VPhotos,Paint SizesVarery
1997
Lower Threearedetialed views of thecages.
Vii
"S* ?ti
ill
-;
M
1
W
...*!#*sH .. 'T.^^P ..H^H8HE>B^9BB3iB
Untitled Installation Mixed Media Room Space7'
x17' 1997
Chapter 4
First Year
at
Rochester
InstUmte of
Technology
I
arrivedin
Rochester,
NY to
begin my
graduate studies atthe
Rochester Institute
ofTechnology
(RIT).
My
transition
to
Rochester from
the
southern areas ofFlorida
was not withoutits
difficulties.
I
felt
alittle
outthe
place.It
couldhave been because
of
the
regionalchangeorjust
the
simplefact
oftrying
to
be
accepted
by
a new set ofpeers.I
found my
surroundingsmoredemand
ing.
The
resources atRIT
wereabundant,
but accessing
them
wasanother world.
Due
to
the
departmental
structure,
crossstudying
was not
something done
that
often.I
found
myselfexperimenting in
new areaslike
glass, clay, metal,
and
molding
processes.The
advantages ofthe
facilities
andresources
drew
meinto
a world of constant apperception with newmaterials,
suchas, glass, rubber,
fiberglass,
molds,
and newartisticmediumsand approaches.
Fall Walkthrough (Hard
times
begin)
During
my first
quarter ofstudy
I
found
myselffighting
my
surroundings.
This
pressuregreatly
influenced
the
appearance andconstructionof
my first
walkthroughevaluation.Concept;
I
constructed aninstallation
that
enabledothers,
the
audience, to
experiencethe
kinds
of pressureI
wasfeeling
in
the
controlled
academic surroundings ofgraduateschool.Description:
For
my
fall
walkthrough,
I
created aninstal
lation
of;
seven modified woodenpallets,
sevenlarge
black
and whiteprints,
seven openfaced
boxes
madeof
Plexiglass,
lights,
water,
and walls.The
installa
tion
alsoincluded
me as aprimary
subject.The
center supportbeam
wasknocked
out oneach pallet so
that
other palletboards
wouldbend
when stepped on
by
a viewer.Then
the
pallet werecut and resized
to
create a one point perspectiveview.
A
plexiglassbox
was placed inthe
center ofeach pallet.
One black
and white print of me was placedin
the
Plexiglass
boxes
andthe
boxes
werefilled
with water.The
palletwere
then
placed onblocks
to
elevatethem
offthe ground, the
sevenpallets wereplaced end
to
endto
create one platform.Walls
were constructed around
the
palletstoconstrictthe
viewer'smovementandvision.
Lights
wereplacedbeneath
the
platformto
illumi
natethewaterand
the
photographs.Finally,
I
placedmy
ownbody
at
the
far
end ofthe
construction.As
viewers experiencethe
instal
lation my
body
wasback lit appearing
as a silhouettefigure. The
resultwas
to
hide my identity.
Untitled Installation Mixed Media Detialed Views
20'
x
30'
Room 1998
Review:
My
intentions
wereto
create an environmentthat
wouldmake an
individual
consciousofthe
pressurethat
is
placed on others.
The
centerbeam
wastaken
outonthe
palletsto
create a weaker structure
that
wouldbend. The Plexiglas boxes
were placedinside
the
pallets andfilled
with water andthe
photograph.The
effect
here
wasasaviewer walked onthe
palletstheboards
woulddipped into
the
waterandapply
pressureto the
photographs,
whichwassymbolicof
my
circumstances.The
walls andnarrowing
ofthe
spacewas
to
createasenseofconfinementandinsecurity. The last
elementwas
the
invasion
of meappearing
as adark,
shadowy
fig
ure.
I
found
that
all ofmy
intentions
of controlin my installation
couldnot
be
achieved.Control
wasthe
last
thing
I
had.
The
workenraged
people,
whichin
turn
made medefensive.
I
startedto
withdrawinward
aftermy first
walkthrough.I
dearly
wantedsomething
or someoneto
protectme,
hide
me,
andnurtureme.
Based
onthis experience,
I began
to
experiment withbody
molds and masks as waysto
protect myself.I
had
a greatdesire
to
bum
the
past.Due
to
whatI
felt
was afailed
critique,
I
began
to
re-examinethe
materials and methods thatsymbolically
conveyed
the
appearanceandinterpretation
ofprotection.Winter Walkthrough (The
Isolation)
After
first
quarterwalkthrough, I
wantedto
burn my
past.But
most of allI
wanted protectionfrom
the
future;
I
stillhad
two
more
Walkthroughs
to
survive.During
the
winterquarter,
I
experimented with
lots
of materials such asplaster,
clay,
fiberglass,
andsteel.
I
wassearching for
that
materialthat
wouldbest
represent andsymbolizeprotection
from
allI
feared. The
onething
I
found is
thatphotography
had
become less
of afactor
in my
work.It
did
notconvey,
asthe
other materialsdid,
anddid
not meetthe
level
of protection
orsecurity I
sought.With
the photograph,
I
exposed myselfdue
to the
representationalnature,
withthenewmaterialsI
handled;
exposure was
limited
andgreatly
controlled.Concept:
I
wantedto
incorporate
some ofthe
sameideas
of specialcontrol
from
my
first
Walkthrough but
combinethem
with newadded elements.
Description:
For
the
winterevaluation,
I
used some ofthe
samedeficien
cies that
I
usedin my first
walkthrough,
including
walls,
and atunnel
with one point perspectiveUntitled Installation
view.
I
introduced
some newmaterials,
such as a plasterrbody
> cast,'f_umin?
Part studies of alager installationcages,
burned clothing
onpanels,
and a video camera. Mixed Med,a1999
This
tunnel
had
a newtwist to
it. The
tunnel
started atthe
doors
entrance sothat there
was noway
to
bypass
the
installation.
The
tunnel
controlledthe
viewerby
getting
narrower andsmallerin
height.
Thus,
by
the time the
viewer gotto the
end ofthe tunnel
they
where ontheir
knees,
the
result was anunnerving
constrictedUntitled Installation
Class Showatthe SPASGallery BurningStudies
Mixed Media 4'x8' 31/2'
x
7'
3'x6'
3'
x
4' (2 panels) 1999
space
that
forced
the
viewerto
feel insecure. At
the
end ofthe tun
nel,
I
placedtwo
doors,
the
doors
were separatedwitha spacejust
big
enoughfor
the
viewer'shand
to
fit
through
and grab artist statement.
Chained
closed, the
doors did
not open.The
viewer wasforced
to turn
around and returnto the
front
ofthe tunnel.
But
the
tunnelwas not a stand alone piece.
It incorporated
views seenfrom
within
the
tunnel.These
views consistedofburned
panels containing
my
clothes and a plasterbody
cast placedin
cages.Finally,
acamera was placed
in
the tunnel
from
ahidden
vantagepoint,
surveying
theviewerandhis/ her
experiencein
the
installation.
Review:
In
the
winterWalkthrough,
asin
the
fall,
my
installation
angered viewers.
But
this
time
I
felt
the
point of environmentalcontrol was a
little
more effective.I
evenfelt
saferfrom
the
negative
responsesbecause
I
still wasbehind
the
walls ofmy
tion.
The
viewers wereforced
to
talk through the
walls atthe
entranceof
the tunnel.
I
was ableto
speak morepositively
aboutthe
experience.
One
thing
that
caught me off guard wasthe
visualinter
est on
the
burned
panels.Many
viewers wantedto
know
whatthey
represented,
for
meit
wasthe
idea
ofstopping
a sense oftime.
Similar
to
the way
a camerafreezes
time
for
one split second.But
overall,
alot
ofthe
feedback
was similarto the
fall
Walkthrough.
At
this
pointI
wasbeaten.
I
knew
thatI
was notgoing
to
do
another
Walkthrough
based
oncontrolling
the
responses ofthe
viewer.
I
waslosing
the
willto
fight
againsteveryone;
I
was starting
to
lose
the
willto
create art at all.Spring
Walkthrough (The
Truss)
In
the
spring
quarter,
I
found
I
nolonger had
the
ability
to
fend
offthe
circumstances ofmy
work.I
felt mentally
and physically
tired.
I
had
successfully
pushed people away.My
finished
experiments
had
nolife.
I
wasfinally
alone.The only
thing
thatwasworking
for
me wasthe
visual promise of worksin
progress.Concept:
I simply
wantedto
show viewersthe
experimentsthat
I
wasworking
on.I
wantedthe
focus
to
be my
working
work and notmyself.
Description:
In my
spring
Walkthrough,
I
utilizedavariety
of new materials,
including
t-shirts
withimages
ofmyself,
graded steelfigure,
a
life
size glassfigure
bonded
in
wire,
framed
wall panel collages,
and afiberglass figure. The
work was straightforwardand
did
notrepresentany
singleidea. In
contrastto
my
earlierinstallations
there
were notunnels,
nocontrol,
and no protection.
Untitled Steel Studies
48"Hx30"Wx36"D 1999
T-Shritsw/Photo's
1999
BurningStudies
,,tulMixed Media Steel,
S
Wood, Clothes30"
x45"
1999
Glass Studies
Mixed Media:Glass,
Rocks,Wire
40"Hx24"Wx12"D 1999
Review:
Oddly
enoughmy spring Walkthrough
turned
outto
be
the
best
ofthe
three.People
wereinvited
to talk
andI
was amazedby
how
muchinterpretation
viewersbrought
to
eachwork: workthat
I
felt
was stillin
progress.I
wassimply showing
whatI
had been
doing
for
ayear,
andhow
eachfailure led
me a newlevel
of working,
understanding, andknowledge.
Chapter 5
Rochester
Institute of
Technology
The
Direction
of
Questions
^Tf
Far left
To
my
J amazementI
madeit
through the
b seifPoniatSteel 8"Wx24"H advancement process.
Now
advanced,
I
would 2000be
an allowedto
work moreindependently
on!
my
work.This
meantthat
I
could continueto
experiment withthe
^molding
processin
fiberglass
that
I
had
left
off with atthe
endof1
the
first
year's walkthrough.At
this
juncture
this
washow I felt.
As I
walkedto
the studio and reach outto
touch the
door
[knob,
it is
cold.As I
turnthe
door
knob
I
felt
my
flesh
twisting
[to free
itself but instead
the
door
movesforward
slowly
as a[cold
breeze simultaneously
rushesfrom
the
room.The
airis
[stimulating
asitscraped acrossmy
outer covering.Each
strainlof
hair
andevery layer
ofmy
skin wasroused.The hair
onmy
body
movesliked
ciliadrawing
megradually
into
the
darken
roomas
I
inch
forward
moving my
hands
acrossthe
wallslowly
searching
for
thelight
switch.My
finger
tips
send millions of visual stimuli.
The
mostprevailing
visionice blocks
and sandpapermelting
together
in
away
neverfelt
before.
The
wall was slick witha slight oilinessto
it.
As my
inner
vision slips out of
control,
my
fingertips
tread
acrossthe
cold metalcasing
that surroundsthelight
switch.After powering
the
lights
avisual
flicker
ofthe
florescent light bulb
indicate its
response.The
roomwas so quiet
that
I
canhear
the
faint buzz
ofthe
.lightandpulse ofthe
electricity pacing
back
andforth
iwithin
the
bulb.
My
own pulsetried to
keep
up
withthe
harmonic
rhythm ofthe
light but falls
short ofbeat. I
bring
my
eyesdownward
to
focus
onthe
J^
Job
thatI
mustaccomplish.I
gatherup
the
Self Portiat Plaster LifeSize 2000
tools
andlay
them
outvary methodically way
similarto that
of asurgeon.
The
anticipation ofthe
startbegins
to
affectmy
entirebody.
Every
limb
ofmy
body
tingled
all over asif
they
have
fallen
asleep.
I
recognizemy
endeavoris
aboutto
begin.
My body
felt
very
warm.My
thoughts
were nowflowing
in my
head
causing my
receptors
to
passionately
response,
yetremaining incomprehensi
ble.
Then
asquickly
asit
allbegin it
stops.My
mindis
clear.My
body
felt
normal again.I know
thatI
amready
to take
one thoughtand make
it
reality.Now
the
processbegins.
It is
these
very strong
emotionsthat
inspire
me.I
don't know
most of
the
answers tomy
work.Thinking
just
slowsdown
the
process
for
me;
I
like
to
feel
like I'm
partofthe work.The
secretsare
the
unknowns.With
the
new start ofthe
secondyear,
I
continuedthe
experiments
withthe
mediumthat1 had
found
alittle
successwith:fiber
glass.
I
startedto
explorefiberglass. The brittle
qualities andthe
uncontrollable
flow
ofthe
fiberglass
frustrated
and excited me.I
also
liked
the
liquid
qualities ofthis
pliable substance.I
begun
simpleby
making
smallfigures
out of
clay
andthenmaking
anegative moldwithplas-^
ter.
Then
I
took the
mold andlined
it
withcheese cloth>
to
give addedsupport,
thenI
pouredliquid
fiberglass
into
the
mold and pushedit
around evenly.I'd let
the
fiberglass
cureovernight,
and comeback
andbreak
the
mold
to
free
the
new work.What
pleased me aboutthe
fiberglass
was that itdid
not takehold
ofevery
detail,
it
would.
It
producedanew,
uncontrolledlook I really
enjoyedthisabstract quality.
It
reminded me ofthe
unpredictable stepsUntitled Fiberglass Studies
12"x24"
1999
that
can existin
multi-exposure photography.Finally
more comfortable
withthe
plaster moldprocess, I
startedto
makefull
scalefaces.
I
had
made several masksbefore,
I
enjoyedbeing
ableto
change
my
mood andthe
mood ofmy
peersby
wearing
the
mask.This
concealmentgave mesecurity in
my
surroundings.I
concurrently
also usedthe
fiberglass
as anincasing
medium,
taking
clothes,
photographs,
andsometimes
both
laying
them
flat
andpouring
fiberglass
over
the
materialsto
sealthem
in
time.
I
gottired
ofworking
on a small scaleI've
alwayshad
adesire
to
work
in
alarger
scalethat
is
more natural andtangible.
Producing
large
scale work soonturned to
creating
installa- Fiberglassstudies12"
x
14"
1999
tion that
covered alarge
space.I
wentback
to
experiment ofthe
face
and returnedto
experimenting
withthe
face,
but
this time
I
increased
the
sizeto twice the
natural scale.Still
the
size was notcovering
the
space asmy
mindhad imagined. It
wasn't untilI
cameacross some scarps of
theater
foam
propsthat
I
saw anopportunity
to
createin
an evenlarger
scale.I
took
a couple of sheet offoam
18'D
x5'W
x6'H
and gluedthem together.
It
took
about aweekto
carve a
face
out ofthe
foam. Once
the
face
wascarved, I
usedclay
to
build
the
face
up.Now
the
mold wasready for
the
fiberglass.
First,
I
had
to
coverthe
face
with a gelto
act as a releasefor
the
fiberglass.
Then,
coveredthe
entireface
withcheesecloth,
and covering
the
mold andallowing
it
to
cure wasthe
final
step.Within
twenty-
four hours
the
fiberglass
washard
andI
could pullthe
moldoff.
The
first
onethat
I
pulled offeredto
be
a success.The
face had
Untitled Fiberglass Studies LifeSize Heads 2000
Untitled Plaster MoldBase
48"
x
55"
2000
an amber-yellow
tint to
it
andit
resembled whatmy
mindhad
imagined.
I
wasvery
pleased withthe results,
so pleasedthat
in
the
next
few
weeksI
pulledfour
moredifferent faces
this
process.While
installing
the
work,
an unexpected accidenthad
caused wonderful results.
I
washanging
oneofthe
faces
whenthe
string
broke
andthe
face
camecrashing down
to the
floor,
breaking
into
three
large
pieces.I
was so madthat
I
decided
notto
showany
workat all!
A
few days
went past and one ofmy
professors asked me what
happened
to
my installation.
I
showed
him
the
outcome ofthe
onethat
fell. He
was
very
pleased withwhathe
saw andsug-gested
that
I
shouldbreak
the
others and ,.rearrange
the
different
parts.At
first,
I
<
thought
that there
was noway
that
I
wasgoing
to
break
allthe
faces
that
I
spent *months
working
on.I
mean eachface
had
adifferent
expression,
uniqueto
itself.
My
answer wasNO! But
after afew
weeksoflooking
atthe
broken
pieces,
I
startedto
see some ofthe
qualitiesthe
professorhad
mentioned.I
decided
I
wouldbreak
oneface
andif
I
didn't
like
the
resultsI
stillhad
two
moreleft
to
work with.I
took
one ofthe
faces
andlaid
it down
onthe
floor
and stood on a6 foot ladder
witha 6'
foot
V2
inch
thick
steel rod anddropped it.
The
results wereindeed interesting. What
was moreinspiring
wasthat
for
the
first
time
I
saw anopportunity
to
do photography
again.I
did
notseethe
faces
as three-dimensional
work
any
more.Instead
I
sawthe
frag-Untitled
Fiberglass Face Studies
48"
x
55"
2000
ments of a
broken
face. I
photographed FarLeft_
r r
Untitled
Fiberglass FaceStudies
the
parts ofthe
faces
atdifferent
perspec- 2000ft
tives,
the
results were wonderful.Impotently,
the
graduate class waslobby-I
ing
the
collegefor
a grantto
produce aportfolio.
All
graduates andfaculty
wereUr
invited
to
submit one 16" x20" photograph.Untitled
FiberglassFace Studies 2000
Untitled
Fiberglass FaceStudies
2000
For
the
portfolio, I
createdthe
only
photograph produced
in
my
two
years of graduateschool.It
was a photograph ofdesire.
For my
new photographic
work,
I
wantedto
incorporate
somekind
ofmultiple
imagery.
I
startedto
dig
through
alot
ofmy
old pictures.
I
wasinterestedin merging
the
oldwiththe
newinvestigations
ofthe
face.
In my
search,
I
came across a series of
images
that
I
shot ofmy
body.
I
had
never shownthese
images because
I
just
never
found
the
right contextto
showthem.
Now I
had
allthe
elementsto
create aphotograph,
I
just
needed
to
figure
outhow I
wasgoing
to
bring
them together.
I
thought
aboutusing
multiple enlargers andlayering
oneimage
onanother.
After
afew
attempts,
it didn't
give methe
look
I
wanted.I
needed
the
bodies
to
be
alittle less
pronounced.Then I
remembered
that
I
had
somehigh
contrastorthofilm (transparent
film).
I
printedsome of
the
individual
bodies
onto
the transparent
film
anddid
afew
contact prints ontothe
paper.Then I
movedthe
paperto
anotherenlarger,
withthe
negative ofthe
fiberglass
faces,
and printthe
face
onto
the
paper.After
I
processedthe
paper,
I
felt
that
I
had
the
imageI
was
looking
for.
I
continuedto
contact
print allthe
body
images
that
I
Upper & Lower Left images
arefromthefiberglass face
studies onfilm. Untitled BA/V Photo's
16"
x
20"
2000
had,
andtaped them together to
make one 16" x20" contact sheetthat
I
couldjust
lay
overthe
entire sheet ofphotographic paper.I
set
up
another enlarger withthe
face
negativesothat
it
wouldcoveras much of
the
area aspossible.In
the
trialprint,
I
wasvery
pleasedwith what
I
saw.The
bodies
had broken up
the
face
evenmore,
creating
adynamic
negative space.The
face
was absorbed enoughby
the
negative space thatit slowly floated into
view.The quality
ofthe
negative space andthe
abstract appearance of
the
broken face in
this
work wouldultimately lead
meto
my
thesis
project.Untitled
Grad Portfolilio Grant BAA/ Photo 20"
x
24"
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Chapter
6
Thesis Show
Fears Installation
15'
x15 Space 2001
Concept:
For my
thesis show,
I
focused
onthe
external expression ofthe
face.
Everybody
usesbody
language
to
communicate orto
reactto
a situation.
After reveling
studies andexperiments,
what camedown
to
for
mewas,
observation andjudgment.
I
find
that
I
happy
observing
peoplelooking
atmy
work and overhearing
their
reactions.
My
imageshave
always struggledto
hold
a placein my
heart.
This
means;
I
am attachedto the
creative stage ofproduction,
but
once
done
I
startto
become detached
quickly
from
the
work.This
is
notsomething I
try
to
do
purposely,
it just happens.
However,
there
is
oneexception; sometimes, the
work startsto take
alife
ofits
own.In
time,
as a result of climatethe
workstartsto
decay. It
is
a
formidable
objectthat
is
alwaysin
flux.
This
transiting
characterhas
produced resultsthat
have
made me re-examinemy
work,
opening
my
eyesto
newopportunities,
newdirections
for
artisticpursuit.
Description:
My
thesis
consisted ofthree
large
vacuumformed
faces,
mountedto
wooden^
j
'I
-beams
andfloor
filled
withsand.
The
faces
wheredesigned
from
a squarefoam
base
that
was carvedsimilar
to
the
shape of amannequin's
face.
I
made aportable armature of
the
face
out of plaster andburlap.
Once
the
positivemold process was
obtained,
abuild-up
ofclay
createdthe
facial
qualities
that
I
wanted.I
wantedto
createfaces
that
showeddistress
and
judgment. The
faces
wereto
mirrormy
surroundings andmy
peers.
At
this
stage ofproduction,
I
wasinterested
in
the
negativeform
ofthe
mold.For
it is
the
negative side ofthe
moldthat the
Plexiglas
willbe
pulleddown into.
I
begun
by building
a woodenbox
to the
dimensions
givento
meby
the
vacuumforming
company.
The
woodenbox
neededto
be
airtight
sothe
pressurecouldpull^Hk
"
'
J*
fe.'^i
^
xfi'a-,
l^a'
V
Fears Detialed Views Installation 15' x 15' Space 2001the
Plexiglas down
intothe
mold.The
molditself
would also needto
have
small ventholds
for
the
same purposeofpulling
the
plexiglas
down into
the
mold.Once
this
wasarchived,
awoodenlip
wasfastened
to the
moldthat
allowedthe
moldto
sitin
the
box level.
Then
the
box
withthe
mold was sentto the
vacuumformers. These
steps were repeated
for
the
nexttwo
faces.
After
the
faces
werereturned
by
the
vacuumformer,
I
coated eachface
withliquid
emulsion and used an enlarger
to
project photographicimages
onto
the
surface.The
final
result isa constructed
face
withsome translucent areas and
opaque
areas,
resembling
the
photographic
face
that
I
did for
thegraduate portfolio.
Once
the
faces
dried,
excess plastic wastrimmedoff.
The
final
step
wasFarright
Fears Detialed Views Installation
15'
x15'Space 2001
to
preparethe
woodenboards
onwhichthe
faces
wouldbe
mounted.
Intentions:
After
two
years of graduate schoolI
had
been
placed under pressurethat
almostbroke
my
will as an artist.I
had
been
judged,
to the
point whereit
felt that,
I
knew nothing
else.The
onething